The Eroticism of Kissing

Doug

When was the last time you kissed your wife….really kissed her?

Kissing is very intimate and french kissing, according to my 5th grade health teacher, is the most intimate act you do. Two people who are physically entering each other somehow has more intimacy points that anal sex….go figure.

The bottom line, however, is that kissing is very intimate and the muscles in your lips and tongue are exercised more often than any other. A former lover described kissing as a combination of eating and talking…you were communicating while satisfying an urge. Not bad.

When you kiss your spouse tonight, take a break from your old routine. Pause. Hold her face. Go super slow and match her breathing.

The more variety and tenderness you put into your kissing the more wet she will get.

Foreplay. It’s a lost art.

 

For more ideas, strategies and insight into how to make your wife hot, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com today!


Fantasy Night

Doug

Oh sure, you’ve THOUGHT about putting on the policeman uniform, but have you seriously considereed integrating your fantasies with reality?

Role play is more than costumes and toys. It involves getting into “character” and creating the suspension of disbelief that will occur in the first few moments.

If you don’t get into the TRUE spirit of role play, you will be doing more harm than good. The reason sincerity is important is because we all have fantasies. It gives us a rush and the more forbidden, the better. Your spouse has them also. Be sure to cater to her needs when you go down this path. You may have to cajole it our of her, but asking at least shows you are interested.

Be playful, be spontaneous and be consistent. You don’t have to win an Oscar to make this work, but you should abide by a few simple rules when creating fantasies for your spouse. Follow these and your role play will actually work.

1. Use lighting, costumes, characters and accents consistently.

2. Always be sincere. If you are a policeman, don’t change to being a clown.

3. Create a profile on who you are. As you talk, mention to her your 4 yrs. as a fighter pilot.

4. Give her a role, too. If you are thorough, give her a profile, mission brief and a new name.

5. Location is important. If you can get out of your house, that adds to the reality.

6. Virtual three-somes. If your spouse isn’t into this, bring your third girl to bed, close your eyes and ask your lady to do both roles. (advanced stuff, but good)

7. Laugh at your mistakes, but the longer you do your play, the more real it becomes. Enjoy.

For more ideas, visit http://www.makeyourwifehot.com today.


Educational Porno

Doug

With the proliferation of MILLIONS of sex websites, it is sometimes difficult to filter the good porn from the ridiculous. Many people use video porn or erotic novels to stimulate and enhance their love life.

Great.

However, do you realize there are some really GREAT sites out there that can actually teach and educate us on advanced techniques? I know everyone thinks they are fabulous lovers, but in reality, only a fool believes he/she knows it all. All good teachers (yours truly included) is in a constant state of experimentation, discovery and erotic search mode.

The more variety, spontaneity and fun you put into your sex life, the more your love life improves. Many people get this backwards. While there is a time for romance, tenderness and communication, exceptional lovemaking rarely leads to divorce.

Instead of searching online for “porn” or “amateur porn” try search terms like “kama sutra” “advanced cunnilingus” or more specific items of curiosity. You’ll find a whole new world of videos, techniques and reading that will open your eyes…and her legs.

I encourage you to add YOUR favorite educational porno sites in the comments section below. Together we can build a list that committed couples can refer to over and over and over and over again…

Doug Steponin

http://www.makeyourwifehot.com


Be a Cunning Linguist

Doug

Ok, so you know what that REALLY means, of course. Men fall into one of three categories. You either:

1. Enjoy, relish and absolutely get off on going down on a woman.

2. Do it as a courtesy and you neither dislike or like it.

3. It grosses you out.

If you really, really enjoy cunnilingus, then you know what you are doing. You treat the activity as art. You paint the alphabet with your tongue and understand the nuances of the clitoris and surrounding nerve centers. Your woman is pleasured and you routinely bring her to orgasm at will.

Congratulations! You are a cunning linguist. This double meaning actually holds true. A linguist is a person who speaks multiple languages and the language of love is perhaps the most complicated of all. By understanding, communicating and directing the pleasure centers of a woman, you are communicating at a very high level. It’s not just sex…you are communicating with her non-verbally.

If you are in categories #2 or #3, you should read my other blog post on the topic. The article gives you specific physical and emotional tactics to bring you into category #1.

Seriously, gentlemen…don’t treat this activity as a chore. If you are a category #2 or #3 man, take a moment and look at things from her perspective. Remove any bad memories or less than satisfying experiences of the past and pretend you are the best lick master in the world. Role play it out and see what happens. Who knows? You may learn to lick it…uh…I mean Like it!

For more ideas, strategies and concepts on making your sex life steamy, sexy and fulfilling, check out my book, “Make Your Wife Hot.” Your marriage and relationship has no where to go but up…just like your Johnson.


Marriage Matters 101

Doug

The institution of marriage is under attack.

Increase in divorce, depression and the loosening of standards of gay marriage, open marriage and civil unions is blurring the lines between social mores and cultural development. What does it all mean?

The history of marriage has been used to combine lands of lords, continue blood lines and create families. For thousands of years, marriage was based on the logical needs of landlords and families for stability and fortune.

It is only in recent decades that love has been introduced as a foundation of marriage. As Tina Turner aptly quipps, “What’s love got to do with it?”

When you selected your mate, was it based on her ability to raise a family, bring a stable foundation to your life or was it because she made you hot?

I am interested in hearing your opinions on why YOU got married…think back to your thought process and send me your age, first name and a brief story of how you ended up in this institution we call marriage!

Doug@makeyourwifehot.com


Tease: Not so Much Jack Rabbit, Please

Doug

I was chatting with a woman friend of mine the other day and she was complaining about her “jack rabbit” hubby. It seems that this guy LOVES to pound her with vigor, but has not mastered or even entertained the idea of the “slow comfortable screw.”

What’s up with that?

Sure, both genders enjoy a robust love-making session with a full bore slammin’ of the gonads, but what about changing things up a bit?

Strangely enough, I told her it was partly her responsibility.

You see, if it was a problem for her and she wasn’t satisfied, it is up to the dissatisfied party (her) to communicate her needs to her lover. There is, of course, a right way and a wrong way to do this.

Wrong way:
“Honey, you bang me too hard. Can you please change the variety of your lovemaking? Why don’t we do it slow for a while.”

Right way:
“You are such an incredible lover! I love the way you bang me. Let’s try changing our pace for a few minutes…I need to catch my breath. Make love to me as slow as you can.”

While the direct approach may work, it doesn’t take any extra effort to add a compliment to the beginning of your request. This works for either gender. You see, our egos are fragile. No where are they more fragile than in the bedroom. Many couples who become bored or complacent, don’t talk enough about sex. They both know what makes each other cum (Hopefully) and don’t experiment with either frequency, pace, rhythmn, mood, aroma, location, etc.

The bottom line is that even if your sex is good or great, it never hurts to talk!

For more ideas and strategies, visit http://www.makeyourwifehot.com today!


My Wife’s Favorite Sex Position

Doug

sex_positions

"I can't understand what you are saying with that in your mouth"

Variety is the spice of life!

Which doesn’t mean I am in favor of wife swapping (At least SHE isn’t) but it does mean that a variety of positions, toys, fantasies and environment is required to keep me interested. How about you?

When we have a favorite sex position; one that always makes us climax, we tend to gravitate to that almost routinely. Like a fine wine or your favorite restaurant, you know you can always expect a smooth finish or your favorite meal.

When it comes to lovemaking, our favorite position is one that is comfortable, is pleasurable to both partners and the orgasm or multiple orgasm, is not a question of if, but when.

If you have been with your partner for more than a few years, it may be time to explore, fantasize and create some NEW positions that will expand your creativity, pleasure and sense of something new…get that variety you seek!

When we have a relationship that is stale or routine, our minds and our bodies respond in kind. It is only through the pursuit of challenges, new adventures, and an exploration of the unknown when our lives feel fulfilled and worthwhile.

Take your next interlude and really try something fresh and new. Go ahead and push WAY past your comfort zone. You may step on her toes (Figuratively or literally) and share an embarrassing moment, but it will be those moments that will create some laughs, some fun and a sense of “dating” again.

When we date and learn all the nuances of our partner, it is the discovery of her favorite color, how long it takes her to get dressed and what makes her cum that makes us happy. When we go through the process of discovery, it creates a feeling of “newness” and playful exploration that is pleasurable. After you have experimented with a dozen or so positions, it is time to graduate to a higher level of physical pleasure.

The more open you are to talking about sex, trying new things and wrestling with holding her legs up in the air while you stand on your tippee toes, the more fun you are going to have. Professional lovers, of course, know that the absolute best manual for experimenting with positions is the kama sutra.

There are dozens of variations of this manual and I have previewed over a dozen different copies. If you are serious about creating an intimacy and euphoria that is “off the chart” then get your copy of the Kama Sutra by clicking here. You won’t be disappointed, although you may wear yourself out!

That is what got you two together in the first place, why not do it again?

For more ideas on creating the trophy wife of your dreams with the one you have, check out my book, “Make Your Wife Hot.” You have a FULL money back guarantee, although if you apply even 1 of the dozens of strategies in the book, you will end up like all of my readers…sore and smiling.

sex position

"Stop playing with yourself...make your wife do it"

Go for it!


Sue Your Cheating Spouse’s Lover!

Doug

If your spouse cheated on you, you can sue!

Read the article below in its entirety. It doesn’t matter if you’ve cheated, been cheated on or are currently involved in an affair or not, our litigious society has another milestone we can be proud or ashamed of, depending on your point of view.

Read on and think twice before you step out of your marriage vows! (Or if your spouse has already committed adultery, you now have a financial incentive in your arsenal, if you aren’t the forgiving type) If you are a guy that sees sex as sport and aren’t satisfied at home, give you wife the gift of love this season. Click here for the gift that you REALLY, TRULY want this Christmas….I guarantee it.

Story is below…

Atlanta, Georgia (CNN) — The next time a married man or woman glances your way, you might think twice before acting on impulse and frolicking between satin sheets. The scorned spouse could sue you.

Yes, you read that right. You, the paramour, can get hit with a lawsuit that could cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars.

They’re known as “alienation of affection” suits, when an “outsider” interferes in a marriage. The suits are allowed in seven states: Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota and Utah.

The law allowing such legal action dates back to antiquated times when a wife was considered the property of a husband. A broken-hearted hubby could go after his wife’s lover — not with a gun, but with the law.

In modern times, the suits are filed for two reasons: money and revenge. Juries in North Carolina have handed out awards in excess of $1 million on multiple occasions.

“If your spouse is going to cheat, you really would like them to cheat with somebody who has a lot of money,” says Lee Rosen, a North Carolina divorce attorney who deals with alienation of affection cases on a daily basis.

And that’s why many legal experts are paying close attention to the Tiger Woods saga. Will his wife go after an alleged mistress?

Were any of his “transgressions” with someone who is married? If so, the jilted hubby might be able to go after the world’s richest golfer.

It doesn’t matter that Woods lives in Florida, a state where the suits aren’t allowed, legal experts say. If any of Woods’ professed “sins” took place in an alienation of affection state, look out.

“If he had been dating a married woman, there could be the potential for a lucrative recovery,” Rosen says. “You’ve got to have a really affluent paramour that makes for a good target.”

The suits rarely make it to trial. Usually, just the threat of such a lawsuit is enough for an out-of-court settlement.

“When folks are getting divorced, the threat of having the person’s new boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife dragged into court and the dirty laundry aired … causes enormous pressure,” says Matt Steffey, a law professor at Mississippi College School of Law.

Mississippi has been rocked by a high-profile suit, filed this summer, involving everything from allegations of ski resort trysts to a secret journal ordered kept under seal by a judge.

Better yet, it involves a congressman who once co-sponsored legislation for President George W. Bush to declare 2008 the “National Year of the Bible.”

The son of a prominent federal judge in Mississippi, Chip Pickering was the rising GOP star of the state — hand-picked to succeed Trent Lott in the U.S. Senate. Then, everything unraveled.

If your spouse is going to cheat, you really would like them to cheat with somebody who has a lot of money.
–Lee Rosen

Pickering decided not to run for re-election in 2008 after 12 years in the House. At the time, he said he wanted to spend more time with his family. He’s married with five children.

Like a tale from William Faulkner, who penned many a book on Mississippi elite with personal flaws, Pickering’s tumble has been staggering.

“Chip Pickering has fallen far faster than the surrender of Vicksburg,” Steffey says, referring to a key turning point in the Civil War, when Confederates gave up the Mississippi River town.

The real doozy came July 14, when Leisha Pickering filed the alienation of affection suit against her husband’s alleged lover, a socialite named Elizabeth Creekmore-Byrd.

“As a direct and proximate result of the negligent, wrongful and reckless misconduct and behavior of Creekmore-Byrd with Pickering,” the suit says, “plaintiff has suffered damage to the affection and consortium with her husband.”

So hush-hush is the case, lawyers on both sides have reached a confidential agreement to not discuss the case publicly.

The suit, in effect, has branded the once-proud congressman with a Scarlet “A.” “He had certainly fallen from the pinnacle of his professional life and his public life, but it had not yet become a public disgrace,” Steffey says. “And what this lawsuit did is it turned a fall into a disgrace.”

“There’s a particular cast of tragedy when people are undone, not by accidental misfortune, but by their own character defects.”

Most states have abolished alienation of affection lawsuits. Proponents in the holdout states say the threat of such legal action helps protect the sanctity of marriage.

But, Steffey and Rosen say, alienation of affection suits do just the opposite: They result in already contentious divorces getting even more heated, and they leave behind a public trail of personal shortcomings and wild tales of infidelity.

“To allow these suits to go forward,” Steffey says, “is destructive to family life.”

“It’s much like dropping a nuclear bomb on a family,” Rosen says. “It really does damage the relationship between spouses. If there are children involved, it’s devastating for them.”

It would require legislative action for states to change the law. And anyone who tries that in a conservative state could get painted as a pro-divorce lawmaker who holds cheaters less accountable.

“It’s a very delicate matter legislatively,” Steffey says.

And as long as the law remains on the books, Rosen says, he’ll keep busy: “We have an obligation to pursue our clients’ rights.”

There is one way to avoid such suits: Respect marital vows.

###

Of course, if you can’t keep it zipped, you can either get divorced or begin a campaign for an open marriage! Polyamory isn’t popular, but those who understand human evolution and aren’t threatened by multiple loves have shown its possible. One of my favorite books on this topic is Jenny Blocks’ “Open”. Check it out!


Tiger Woods: Infidelty or Poor Driving?

Doug

tiger woodsWas Tiger Woods having an affair? There is no clarity to his recent car accident and golf-club wielding wife’s desire to break a window or his cheating skull. All men of power and influence are susceptible to affairs. If he had one…chalk it up to his DNA, childhood or conflicted relegation of his powers. If, indeed it is true that he is “involved” with Rachel Uchitel, I can understand. It would be nothing new.

This is a pattern you may be familiar with. The alpha male, who has incredible laser focus on his work is a warrior, a conqueror and this personality is not limited to war or business. It often spills over into the world of seduction. On the surface they may be “good” people. He is an achiever; he has a nice wife and a beautiful family. But underneath the façade is a man who is built for conquest.

It is men (and some women) whose achievements expand exponentially who are in danger of having affairs. There are two main reasons for this.

  1. 1. Environmental Influence. Men who are raised on “James Bond” and other fantasy visions of relationships may suffer from a mild or extreme case of sex and love addiction. The inability to have a deep, long-term relationship is often created from the role models we have as children. This easily explains why kids from divorced homes are more likely to divorce. The pattern has been established and we learn from our environment. When men see their fathers or role models embrace sex for sex’s sake, what are they learning?

As a young man enters puberty and begins to notice those newly developed breasts on his classmates, the process of maturity, courtship and dating begin. We experiment with the rituals of “going steady” “breaking up” and “falling in love.” It is during these times that we are imprinted with what works for us and what does not. Learning to differentiate between caring for someone and lust, between being genuine with someone or manipulating to get what we want is a game without a rule book. Learning how to accept someone “loving us” is a class that starts in adolescence and for some of us, becomes a never-ending lesson.

Similarly, when a young man has a father who is nurturing, compassionate and faithful to his wife, the imprint of fidelity has a chance. This does not guarantee or prevent infidelity, of course. However, the odds are stacked against youth from homes that have any variety of dysfunction.

On that note, we are hard-pressed to find ANY family without some degree of dysfunction. The “Cleaver” household is as fictional as your neighbors who appear to be the “perfect” family.

No such thing exists.

Surviving an affair is a journey anyone would be a fool to take alone. If you were the one having the affair or the victim of one, going at reconciliation or renewal alone will be a painful and long journey. I STRONGLY recommend the eBook “Break Free From the Affair” by Dr. Huizenga the Infidelity coach.

For men like Tiger Woods, who was probably busy golfing 4 hours per day, these opportunities may have been missed. Or perhaps his obsessive desire to win created a method of winning with the ladies. “Winning” meant conquest-not a deep, heartfelt relationship. I am not picking on Tiger, because at this date, we still have no confirmation of any infidelity.

  1. 2. Over-Achiever Influence. The second manifestations of affairs come from our DNA of being warriors. Forget the imprinting and nurturing households. Men who compete in sports, politics, and business are merely acting out modern day survival and conqueror behaviors. Men who are taught or encouraged to achieve at all costs are usually successful. Powerful men wield their power and the more then earn, the more dangerous they become to themselves and others. The adage, “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely” has never been truer when the affairs are revealed amongst politicians, athletes, and titans of industry. Their alpha male characteristics spill over from business to relationships as naturally as a waterfall.

I believe high achievers often miss out on this important segment of their lives, since the ultimate achievement goal takes precedence. Their inner life and the richness experienced in relationships become dormant or non-existent.

Men are built for war. Women are built for sex. I apologize for putting it in such a callous manner, but since we don’t have breasts, it is an argument that has no defense. Certainly we can both become MORE than objects of conquest and reproduction, but we are designed for those functions and it is the evolution of civilization that allows us to become better.

Rachel Uchitel...victim, gold digger or just another hottie?

Rachel Uchitel...victim, gold digger or just another hottie?

It is as simple as this.

Some men are further along on the evolutionary cycle than others. Men who understand how to wield and channel their power for the good of the tribe win. Those who are still learning how to develop loving feelings in a long-term relationship are those that will create the best families (Tribes) and hopefully pass on their character to their offspring.

For those of us who are still learning, let’s keep our lessons fresh in our minds and learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others.

We don’t know yet, if Tiger was having an affair or not. Frankly, I don’t care.

But if the fall of a hero compels even one person to re-evaluate his destiny in life, then we move forward as a society. If you are involved or were involved in this common and confusing circumstance of an affair, you owe it to yourself to get a copy of the book, “Break Free From the Affair” today. You’ll save hours of sleepless nights and feel better about yourself, regardless of who did what.survive affair


How Can I Save My Marriage?

Doug

Saving a marriage begins with your attitude. After you DECIDE to work on it, you have to keep your attitude in the right space. After your decision has been made, give yourself time to learn how to be a couple again. You may have a few uncomfortable moments, but the journey can also be enjoyable. Below are a few thoughts and ideas:

  1. If you don’t want to take on something that interests your spouse, and jump in with both feet, you can still ‘share’ your thoughts and let them know you noticed what is important to them.
  2. For example, clip an article out of the paper on your husband’s favorite football team, or record a TV appearance by your wife’s favorite actor.  Better yet, read a newspaper article about something that interests your spouse and talk to them about it over dinner.  Ask them questions about what you read and what they know about the topic and watch their face light up.
  3. Listen to your spouse talk about their favorite subject or hobby and, instead of shutting them down, try to hear ‘clues’ in what they say about what makes them interested in the subject.
  4. Talk to them about what YOU find interesting in the subject.  For example, if your husband belongs to a book club and he always talks about the books he is reading, ask him about his favorite authors or what kinds of books he likes best – mystery, suspense, sci-fi.
  5. If you can’t share the interest, at least show your spouse that you respect and honor it.  Register your gourmet cook spouse in a local session with a famous chef or find a website or a recipe you think will interest them.
  6. A particularly effective and favorite way to develop a common interest is to look at what interests the both of you now.  Then try to find a common area or a ‘type’ of activity you both like.
  7. An example might be if both of you like sports, but you don’t have a sport in common.
  8. Perhaps you bowl and you work out at the gym, and your wife runs.  So, you are both in good physical condition and you both like to be active.  Maybe you’d like to take a sailing course together.
  9. Eventually, you might even buy a boat if you both like the activity.   But, for right now, start small.
  10. 10. If you both like music and there is one kind that you both like, buy tickets to a concert and go see the artist. Don’t wait, don’t talk about it. Just do  it.
  11. 11. Or, plan a day in the city to go to a museum that has exhibits you may both like.  Your spouse will gladly walk through the exhibit he does not like, to get to the one he DOES like and you’ll get to time to talk to each other as you wander around.

If his/her interests don’t align with yours, try doing something NEW together that neither of you has tried or experienced before. If you are bored, that means YOU are boring! Take the next boring or peaceful moment and get out of the house. Go somewhere or try a new activity that you wouldn’t ordinarily even think about.

Along the way, you will rediscover the things you love about each other and the things you already have in common.  And together you might just develop some new interests!  Remember, action creates results (negative or positive) and inaction breeds nothing except the reminder of your discontent. If you want to change your situation, change your actions!

My wife was a dull, slightly depressed mom to our children for years. As I entered midlife, I craved MORE action, adventure and excitement. I wanted a hot wife I could party with! At first she thought it was ridiculous, but eventually she not only embraced a full lifestyle, but has lead us to crazy nights, passionate sex and naughty activities that have created great memories for us to share over and over again. For some ideas on THAT click on http://www.makeyourwifehot.com.