Surprise Sex


When a couple has a routine, they have established a basic human need in their life.


Certainty is a core need for all people. Some need it more than others. Remember when your child wanted to watch the same movie over and over and over again? It drove you nuts, but it struck a chord in their need for certainty. This need does not leave us.

When you have sex in that ‘particular’ position or do that ‘special trick’ with your tongue, you KNOW that you will achieve an orgasm for your partner. This certainty give us comfort and that is good.

However, their is another human need that varies from person to person.


This can also be defined as uncertainty to be clear. However, when we are surprised by a birthday present, a bonus check at work or a $20 bill under the seat of the car, this surprise gives us an endorphin rush like no other. Thrill seekers understand this and often push the limits of their skydiving, rock climbing adventrues to new heights whenever possible. It isn’t just the thrill of almost dying…it is the uncertainty of what comes next .

So it is with your romance.

Surprise your lady tonight with something extreme. Don’t just put on a toolbelt and ask here where the thermostat is, push the limits of what she knows to be safe, secure and certain. Here are a few ideas:

1. Take her out and don’t tell her where you are going. Check into a hotel. Don’t go home.

2. Book a weekend getaway to somewhere romantic. Leave the airline itinerary out. Scratch out the location.

3. Send her a male strip-o-gram.

4. Put rose petals on the bed, light candles and put a romantic movie on.

5. Take her to the theatre.

6. Compliment her passionately about her hair.

7. Volunteer at a shelter for a weekend.

8. Study the kama sutra at length. Engage in a new position every night for 2 months.

You get the idea. Mix things up a bit and let the chips fall where they may. When learning a new dance, you are bound to step on a few toes. So what.

For more ideas, visit today!



This is what she wantsYeah, you’ve used the excuse of burning calories as a way to add an extra sex session with your mate. It may have been funny the first time and it may actually work. But do you love your body?

Can you look at your body and honestly say, “I’d go for that if I were a woman?”

Don’t simply use sex as an excuse to burn off 120 calories (average), use high-caloric burn to increase your stamina and increase the length of your sexual sessions.

The average couple has sex for 13 minutes. Yes…I know…you go for 2 hours all the time, but when you average your quickies, your “just-wanna-get-off” sessions in with your marathons, the AVERAGE time a couple has sex is under 15 minutes. Even if you are at the top of the scale and average 1/2 hour a session, your caloric burn is not going to make a significant difference in attaining those six-pack abs and ripped frame.

Unless you go the extra mile.

Study fitness experts. Many of them use accelerators or pre-workout supplements to increase thier caloric burn and cardio workout when they exercise. By using the RIGHT supplement before and after any workout, you can increase the effectiveness of that workout by 30% or more. Now that 120 caloric burn in the sack can really be upwards of 156 calories. Push yourself to the top of the curve and go for 45-60 minutes every other day and we are now talking significant calorie burn while you are having sex!

The side benefit of pre-workout supplements is that you will create a spiral effect by making the sex better, you can last longer and you both will look better.

Your Wife Doesn’t Want You


Oh sure, she says, “I love you.” In fact, she even packs your lunch every day. The list of ways she SHOWS you she loves you is actually endless. Her attention to the kids, her support of your stressful job and her words all affirm a woman who is devoted and loving.

She just doesn’t want to bang you.

The good news is that it’s your fault, buster!

You see, marriages and women are not boring as a category. PEOPLE become boring and don’t solve their issues properly. Left to themselves, things have a tendency to go from bad to worse. When something is making you unhappy, for example — for any reason — the situation will tend to get worse rather than better.

So avoid the temptation to engage in denial, to pretend that relationship is “adequate”, to hope and pray that, next month, she’ll be less stressed and your sex life will improve. Because it won’t. Ultimately, you will have to face the situation and do something about it.

Start today.

There’s an old saying that you can’t solve a problem on the level where you meet it — in other words, that wrestling with a challenge is usually fruitless and frustrating. If the two of you who are constantly fighting (or worse…ignoring the absence of passion) and can’t seem to move to the next level, you are attempting to solve their problems on the wrong level.

Dealing with their problems on a higher level, you should ask the question, “In terms of being happy, is this the right relationship for us in the first place?” This is a scary question to ask a woman because her #1 need is for security. But if you are brave enough to ask it in the first place, you are starting with a clean slate.

Ask the question of yourself first, her second. When you ask it, don’t answer it immediately. Be sure to reflect upon your core needs. What do you want? What do you expect? When you have those answers, before you give her your list, you better ask her for HER list! You can’t expect to get if you don’t give first.

You may discover that she doesn’t ‘want’ you because you aren’t giving her a reason to.

By becoming the prince charming she truly desires, you will open her up emotionally and physically to desiring you sexually.

Think, reflect, improve.

For more details on becoming the husband, friend and lover of HER dreams, read my book, “Make Your Wife Hot.” You’ll discover that creating a trophy wife that is a sex-crazed lover is easier than you think. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married or how overweight she may be. She WANTS to be your sexual playmate. It is up to you to guide her.

Cheating On Your Wife


Before you learn the unbreakable rules for cheating, you need to take a clear look at the pros and cons of infidelity. The costs (and benefits) of cheating is a decision that you are about to make (or have already made) and include financial, emotional, sexual and even medical.

You’ll discover the clear rules for how to cheat on your wife or husband and NOT get caught. You will learn exact methods that thousands of ‘successful’ cheaters have used to avoid detection and live the intriguing double life of infidelity. The rules will give you a squeaky clean record that is as untraceable as a CIA agent’s resume. You’ll read the details on how to avoid the obvious mistakes and learn some underground methods for the elimination of your double life, 100% of the evidence, 100% of the time. You’ll anticipate the moves and suspicions of your spouse and cleverly lay out credible excuses and reasons for your change in actions, attitude or behaviors.

None of these rules will work.

No matter what you say or do to justify your decision to lead a double life, the excuses, reasoning and rationale for your actions, beliefs and behaviors will all come at a cost.

No one ever PLANS on getting caught. Once you’ve successfully cheated on your wife or husband, there is no reason you won’t be successful again.The situations, evidence and “spy-like” maneuvers and services can withstand 100% scrutiny if you anticipate a highly skeptical and resourceful spouse. You may have already established rules like the following with your lover:

  1. Use of a separate email address at Yahoo, MSN, etc.
  2. Deletion of all emails after they are read.
  3. Clearing out your Internet history every day.
  4. Use of a separate cell phone for calls and text messages.
  5. Instant deletion of all text messages after they are read.
  6. Separate credit card for purchases or a strict use of cash for hotels.
  7. Out of town lover or meeting away from where people know you.
  8. Hiding in plain sight. Having a lover whom your spouse knows.
  9. Showing your spouse feigned attention and love.
  10. Situational compatibility (Also married and has as much to lose)
  11. Destroying hotel receipts in the lobby before you get in the car.
  12. Using independent alibi services to explain your movements.

The list can go on and on. Don’t think that your skills are unmatched, however. There are dozens of software programs your spouse can load onto your computer that memorizes key strokes. Even if you delete the email and take out the trash, your key strokes outlining your password and naughty talk is memorized and available for printing by your spouse…oops!

The same is true for text messages. Even after deletion, most back up programs store old messages even after they are deleted on the phone.

Think that hooking up out of town is the only way to do it right? That is the oldest one in the book. Being “anonymous” nowadays is not only difficult it is actually impossible. Video cameras, surveillance and other tactics to follow suspects are available not only to  private investigators, but the general public as well.

However, after years of deceit, your infidelity will create the proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back.” It won’t be a leftover text message, an open email, or a scrap of paper with a number on it. You are too careful for that. Your undoing may very well be the internal conflict of a double life. You see, a double life contains a double edged sword.

An affair can be thrilling, passionate and incredibly intoxicating. The very thought of clandestine meetings, brief trysts in unusual places gets the heart beating and the libido in full swing. The chance of getting caught, like a good car chase, adds adrenaline to the system. You and your lover have an INCREDIBLE connection. The passion is 100X better than with your spouse and the sex is off the chart…why?

Because it is pure.

Your affair or the affair you are contemplating has your mind racing at an accelerated pace. Your thinking is clearer in one sense in that you are planning ahead on how NOT to get caught! You’ve thought it through and you’ve established all the contingencies.

Careful people rarely get caught cheating on their spouse. However, like the scene of a crime where nobody is present, there is always a single witness…you.

The emotional baggage of cheating will eventually weigh so heavy upon your back that the damage will spill over into other areas of your life. Like most people, you are too blind to see it today. It is only from talking with other people who have been in your situation that a long term view can be seen. Before you cheat or if you are trying to break from from an affair, it is best to understand why they occur in the first place. Is it because of a lack of sex, caring, understanding, compassion, intimacy, desire or attractiveness? Maybe, but at the core of all those words lies one simple reason.

You have unmet needs. These needs, you feel, cannot be met by your spouse. It may be a need for intellectual stimulation, affirmation of your ego, sexual gratification, or simply an intimate connection that you haven’t felt for a long time.

The idea that any single person can meet all of your needs is folly. Nobody can do that. Whatever need you have that your spouse cannot meet, it will be much cheaper, easier, safer and more honest to develop a strategy to communicate these needs in a non-judgmental, open and almost clinical fashion.

Your spouse may not want to hear that his beer-belly gut disgusts you or that her lack of interest in sex is a major concern of yours. He may not even understand how you just want to be heard once in a while. Whatever needs you are addressing CAN and SHOULD be brought up to your spouse before you have an affair.

Bringing them up may be hurtful. It may even cause arguments or divorce. However, by bringing these issues up now, you WILL be avoiding a MORE hurtful, painful and expensive alternative-the affair. By bringing these issues up now, if you do part ways, at least you can do it without the cloud of shame, guilt, deceit and betrayal hanging over your head.

Learn how to bring up sensitive issues with your spouse. Even letting them know that you have CONSIDERED an affair (but have not stepped out) should be a wake up call to work on the issues of your unmet needs. By bringing these issue into the open, you may also get a list from him/her about their needs.

Are you willing to change?

Can you compromise on some of your needs?

Can the two of you work together on creating the intimacy, connection, lust, affection, respect, sex, rapport and love you once had? Take some time to meditate and write down your inner thoughts, needs and wants. Don’t hold back. Don’t feel ashamed. Be clear and concise. Ask your spouse to do the same.

After you have your lists, make a rule that the discussion of these needs is for the purpose of increasing communication, intimacy and love. Some of the topics may be contrary to the preconceived notion of love, but the sharing of these thoughts always lead to an increase in communication and at least understanding of each other.

Stop touching yourself and get your WIFE to do it!

Dealing with your core issues isn’t easy. Obviously, it is more difficult than simply cheating on your spouse.

However, it will be less painful to deal with your unmet needs now, as opposed to dealing with them in divorce court. For a step by step system to create a sexually-charged relationship with your spouse, visit right now! You can begin enjoying a new sex life as early as tonight!

How To Make Your Wife Wet…and help the economy


"We are doing are part to help the economy"

Make your wife wet TONIGHT! No…I promise not to make any stupid jokes about going through the car wash with the windows open! Maybe your life was like mine. There was a time a few years back when I was in a situation like this:

I’ve been married for 17 years, we have a beautiful family, a nice house, great neighborhood and all the appearances of peace and joy.

So why am I so focused on sex?

Because I’m not getting any, that’s why.

Hello, guys. That was the internal conversation I had in my head a few years ago. As a fit, funny, charismatic and decent looking guy I entered a typical “Midlife Crisis” along with a declining economy and my wife’s rapid and steady loss of libido. The economy; that’ll get better. My wife’s low sex drive-now THAT IS AN EMERGENCY! If only our President would focus on that, I’m sure 75% of the health care crisis would disappear.

Imagine if all the wives of the world would miraculously increase their sex drives by even 20%! Husbands of the world would be having sex more, they would be happier, their productivity would rise, the companies they worked for would see increase in revenue and profit, those companies would hire more people, the employment rate would rise, and both husbands and wives would get in better shape to have more frequent and long-lasting sex, and before you know it our economy would be robust, health care costs would plummet and there would be more people walking around with smiles on their faces. This would also spike a reduction of crime and I would venture to guess that infidelity and divorces would see a decline as well.

All because you bought the book, “Make Your Wife Hot” and told 2 buddies about it.

Is this simply a clever marketing ploy to sell a few books. Of course it is! I love making $22 every time someone purchases my book. But guess what, with hundreds of copies in print and more being purchased every day, I have had less than 10 returns-ever.

That clearly shows that the book WORKS and my mission to fix the health care crisis, restore the economy, reduce crime and make the world a happier place is working!

I am betting my reputation and my valuable time on it.


Because, like you, I was at the end of my rope with my marriage and looking at starting over was not very appealing. Fixing my marriage didn’t look much better, but for the sake of the children and my own self-esteem, I was willing to give the marriage-thing another chance.

Only THIS time, I wasn’t going to waste all my time on just being nicer, understanding and a good listener. THIS time, I wanted outcomes that guys want.

I wanted more sex.

I wanted steamy encounters.

I wanted to feel like I was banging a hooker in Vegas.

I wanted to express ALL my fantasies with my wife and not feel guilty about it.

I wanted a miracle.

The culmination of over 3 years of research, counseling and reading over 42 books on relationships revealed an UNTAPPED and UNMENTIONED secret that I have been able to harness and exploit. (Exploit for the greater good!) When you apply this simple and easy-to-use secret, you can expect your wife to become a smoking hot, sex-crazed nymphomaniac in a matter of a few weeks or even days.

This secret will also open up a whole treasure chest of un-spoken fantasies, fetishes and creative sex ideas that you can share openly with your wife and NOT GET IN TROUBLE for! In fact, many couples read my book and can’t believe how simple it is to re-create their passions as if they were hormone-crazed teenagers!

Click on the book and light some candles. You’re about to get EXACTLY what you want…

covered02Take a look at my book, “Make Your Wife Hot” today. If you don’t find at least ONE trick to have more and better sex, simply return it for a full refund. My guess is, you’ll be too busy in the sack to think about it.

-Doug Steponin

How Can I Save My Marriage?


Saving a marriage begins with your attitude. After you DECIDE to work on it, you have to keep your attitude in the right space. After your decision has been made, give yourself time to learn how to be a couple again. You may have a few uncomfortable moments, but the journey can also be enjoyable. Below are a few thoughts and ideas:

  1. If you don’t want to take on something that interests your spouse, and jump in with both feet, you can still ‘share’ your thoughts and let them know you noticed what is important to them.
  2. For example, clip an article out of the paper on your husband’s favorite football team, or record a TV appearance by your wife’s favorite actor.  Better yet, read a newspaper article about something that interests your spouse and talk to them about it over dinner.  Ask them questions about what you read and what they know about the topic and watch their face light up.
  3. Listen to your spouse talk about their favorite subject or hobby and, instead of shutting them down, try to hear ‘clues’ in what they say about what makes them interested in the subject.
  4. Talk to them about what YOU find interesting in the subject.  For example, if your husband belongs to a book club and he always talks about the books he is reading, ask him about his favorite authors or what kinds of books he likes best – mystery, suspense, sci-fi.
  5. If you can’t share the interest, at least show your spouse that you respect and honor it.  Register your gourmet cook spouse in a local session with a famous chef or find a website or a recipe you think will interest them.
  6. A particularly effective and favorite way to develop a common interest is to look at what interests the both of you now.  Then try to find a common area or a ‘type’ of activity you both like.
  7. An example might be if both of you like sports, but you don’t have a sport in common.
  8. Perhaps you bowl and you work out at the gym, and your wife runs.  So, you are both in good physical condition and you both like to be active.  Maybe you’d like to take a sailing course together.
  9. Eventually, you might even buy a boat if you both like the activity.   But, for right now, start small.
  10. 10. If you both like music and there is one kind that you both like, buy tickets to a concert and go see the artist. Don’t wait, don’t talk about it. Just do  it.
  11. 11. Or, plan a day in the city to go to a museum that has exhibits you may both like.  Your spouse will gladly walk through the exhibit he does not like, to get to the one he DOES like and you’ll get to time to talk to each other as you wander around.

If his/her interests don’t align with yours, try doing something NEW together that neither of you has tried or experienced before. If you are bored, that means YOU are boring! Take the next boring or peaceful moment and get out of the house. Go somewhere or try a new activity that you wouldn’t ordinarily even think about.

Along the way, you will rediscover the things you love about each other and the things you already have in common.  And together you might just develop some new interests!  Remember, action creates results (negative or positive) and inaction breeds nothing except the reminder of your discontent. If you want to change your situation, change your actions!

My wife was a dull, slightly depressed mom to our children for years. As I entered midlife, I craved MORE action, adventure and excitement. I wanted a hot wife I could party with! At first she thought it was ridiculous, but eventually she not only embraced a full lifestyle, but has lead us to crazy nights, passionate sex and naughty activities that have created great memories for us to share over and over again. For some ideas on THAT click on

Her Lips Are Made For More Than Talking


Is there more to life than sex and money?

Of course there is! What about soccer practice, community volunteerism and taking care of aunt Martha? Of course these are important parts of our day to day lives. But what about the sex and money part? How much better would YOUR life be if you could get professional, off-the-chart oral sex from your woman that placed your sexual arousal into the stratosphere?

Before you simply go out and buy “Tickle His Pickle” or “Blow Him Away” (Both excellent books, by the way) you need to understand the psychology and journey to opening up a woman’s mind and her mouth to this experience. Let’s take a look at 2 scenarios:

A. She does not like to give oral to you. It never interested her, she is uncomfortable, she gags, doesn’t like the taste…whatever. You rarely receive and you basically have not had a decent or exceptional blow job in quite some time…maybe never.

B. She loves you, wants to please you and gives it a good effort. The results are satisfactory, but not as good as that 26 year old you had 12 years ago…you remember, don’t you . She was a flight attendant and…

In either case, you may have regulated your sex to 1-3 times per week in the standard positions that please both of you.


A. If your gal doesn’t like the act, you have to start off by taking care of a few things yourself, pal. There are physical changes you should try out and a few psychological steps you need to take to get her to not only re-think her desire to go down on you, but take it to the next level and RELISH the thought of going down on you. It is only when she becomes a real fan of the deed that she will become great at it. Here are the some practical tips:

1. Clean your act up. You can try 3 varieties of cleanliness; waxed, shaved or trimmed up. Anyone who has seen any porno knows that women are trimming themselves up more often than not nowadays. It isn’t the 70’s anymore and a clean landscape not only eliminates “nature’s dental floss” for partners, it can actually increase the power of a woman’s orgasm.

For men, a trimmed area not only makes you LOOK bigger, it can be easier for you woman to grease the pole without any abrasive weeds in the way. Try trimming yourself back by about 1/2 to 2/3 of your bush and see what it feels like and how much easier it will be for her to navigate. After you do that, try trimming it ALL off for a week or two. It will definitely be more sensitive to you and it will make her work easier, too. Once you’ve done that and things improve, try a wax job. It hurts like a MF, but an ounce of pain for a pound of pleasure was never so dead on.

2. Be respectful and wash up before you hint at the idea of a BJ. Early in the morning, we know are hormone levels are up and most of us have instant erections, but that doesn’t give you a green light for her to have a sausage for breakfast. Clean up, freshen up and she’ll be more likely to open up to the experience.

3. From a psychological standpoint, there is only one path here. YOU need to give HER a mind blowing experience first. Be a giver, not a taker. The better your skills at turning her on, the more she will feel indebted to return the favor. Asking for a hummer from her before giving cunnilingus to her is the wrong order. The better job you do of giving her an orgasm or two, the more her body and mind will be open to giving you the same feeling.

4. Finally, you should both read up on the subject and practice different tactics to see what your body enjoys most. Giving head may seem natural, but the nuances and specifics escape more women than you realize. Many men like to have other areas of their body fondled during a blow job, some do not. It will take some trial and error on both your parts. Encourage her to try things and above all else, give her feedback! When a particular set of moves works, let her know with a verbal, “Oh yeah” or “That’s perfect”. Likewise, if she tries something that is uncomfortable or painful, try not to react quickly (That could make it worse!). Simply say, “Not so much” or “That doesn’t work for me, sweetie.”

Don’t be afraid to give the gift of love to your wife or girlfriend. The following book, “Blow Him Away” is excellent at understanding the specifics of our bodies. Giving head has never been this interesting to read about! Click here NOW and get your copy today!

If there is any amount of embarrassment or feelings of inadequacy, go ahead and order the companion book, “The Low Down on Going Down.” Written by a speech therapist, nobody understands better the nuances of our mouth, throat and tongue…umm…

Doug Steponin

How Do I Have a Quickie?


How do I have a quickie?

Why do I WANT a quickie?

A quickie doesn’t hit the same pleasure centers of our brain as soft lights, quiet music and slow seduction. Those environmental triggers cause our romantic qualities to surface. A quickie is designed to attack our base desire to have sex…fast, dangerous and utterly animalistic. A quickie is designed to create an atmosphere of “I have to have you now, I don’t care that we haven’t finished dinner” attitude. This absolute hunger for raw sex is what makes a quickie attractive and effective, but only if you’re doing it right.

Just because the act of sex is quick, doesn’t mean there is no foreplay. Most women (and a few men) need a warm up before going to bat. Foreplay for a quickie is a matter of suggestion, plenty of eye contact and innuendoes of lust and sex. If you want to make her groan and moan as if you’d already spent hours warming her up be sure to follow 3 simple rules:

1. Communication: Women are verbal—sometimes communication can be just as good as foreplay. So whisper in her ear about how hot she looked at the restaurant this evening; how you could barely keep your hands to yourself; how her breasts are perfect and how you can’t wait to feel her, etcetera. Make sure your non-verbal communication is in concert with the words you use and the attitude you bring. Don’t be a leering deviant. Think James Bond. Hold your gaze on her longer than usual.

2. Lubrication: A woman can be turned on and emotionally ready for sex and not have the preparation down south. Be sure to pack a water-based lubricant that washes off easily and doesn’t degrade latex condoms. Having lubricant should be as common as condoms or breath mints. There are obviously convenient carry-on sizes for air travel (A favorite quickie location!) For extra fun, try the new Sex Toy Fun flavored lubricants. With over 57 flavors (No they don’t have ketchup) you’ll be sure to find a few that are pleasing to the palette.

3. Location: If you’re having standing sex, consider the stairwell. Elevators are perfect and depending on your height, a well placed set of books can match things up. If there are no elevated accessories available, holding your lady up and having her wrap her legs around you work well. Depending on your voyeuristic tendencies, you may put a tissue over the security camera or just be sure the quickie is very quick. Perhaps one of the most exciting things about a quickie is location. When you “have to have her” and she obliges, nothing puts a damper on the moment like not having a place to copulate. Being fast is more important than being creative. Locking office doors, pulling the car off the road, or finding seclude sections of a library are all possible…as long as you are respectful when it comes to noise levels.

Enjoy your life, my friend. It is short and your sex life will be shorter, so make the most of it while you can. For more ideas about making your wife hot, creating a sexually-charged relationship, click on today.

How Can I Get More Charisma?


It’s tough being someone like Pierce Brosnan…you can’t just “go out” for ice cream. You’ve got to have body guards to ward off the paparazzi, drive a block out of your way to lose them, and probably sign a few autographs at the Dairy Queen…what a drag.

But you CAN harness the awesome power of charisma, and like any weapon, use it skillfully and purposefully. Is there any doubt that Pierce Brosnan (Or any Hollywood leading man) HAS charisma?pierce brosnan halle berry

You don’t have to be a movie star to develop and refine your charisma, pal. You only have to recognize it is within you and focus on being the best YOU possible.

There is a host of nuances and tactics you need to perfect in order to work a woman up to a frenzy like that. Being Peirce Brosnan in and of itself probably would work! It is may be fun to act like another character and if your job is making out with Halle Berry or Rene Russo…oh well.

Of course NOT being Pierce Brosnan may not be that much fun either! You probably didn’t get to make out with Halle Berry, Rene Russo, or hundreds of unknown makeup artists in the back of a trailer. Is that a good thing or not? Pierce may age gracefully but the bottom line is, women continue to find him handsome, sexy, and charismatic and many faithfully monogamous women would give their fidelity a second consideration given the opportunity.

How can you get more charisma? What is that special something that is so hard to define? What is the “look” that women want? What makes a man attractive? Is there charismatic energy that women naturally gravitate to? Why does is seem that “bad boys” get the hot chicks? Is this subject really clouded in mystery?

I have good news and bad news, fellas. Women want it all (Just like we do!). They’d like Tom Hanks as the father for their kids and George Clooney to take home and bang all night. See? Tom can’t be George or visa versa. There is hope for you! First order of business is NOT to try to be both! You can’t be sweet, gracious and a family guy during the day and James Bond at night. Nobody will fall for this duality of looks, personality or charisma. The only way to harness, manage and increase your charisma is to be authentic. Your personality leans towards being the nice guy or the bad boy.

Pick one.

Now, with small amount of forethought and a wee bit of effort, you can develop some of the magnetic qualities that can DRAMATICALLY increase your sex appeal and have the women (or woman) slipping notes to you at work, at home, or in gym class. You’ll do this not by reading some pick up book or going to charm school, but by taking who you are and making yourself better. Becoming more charismatic can only happen when you focus on subtle changes that fit YOUR personality. Begin with 3 steps to permanent change:

  1. Who are you? Take a personality quiz and determine your strengths and weaknesses. There are plenty available online. You can even go to a myriad of dating websites and take a test there. If you are married, be sure to invite your spouse to do the same. Otherwise, you’ll have a lot of explaining to do if you accidently sign up and start getting steamy messages from Bambi.
  2. One bite at a time. Take one area of your life and work on that ONE area for a solid month. Don’t try to change your wardrobe, your hair style, your vocabulary and your income all in 30 days. Attempting a quick makeover is an action. You want to create permanent change, and that requires new habits that will become second nature to you. Look at the list below and begin a methodical and casual increase in your strengths and abilities.
  3. Eliminate weaknesses. Becoming a volunteer and liking it may only take a few days, but ingraining that as a habit will take longer. However, if you smoke, eat poorly or swear too much, you can take THOSE habits and eliminate them immediately. Just like it is impossible to NOT think of a pink elephant when you read those words, bad habits are easier to replace than to simply stop. Try replacing your smoking with sugar free lollipops. If you have an addiction to donuts, don’t ignore the craving, simply replace it with high-protein, low carb substitute.


When looking into the nuances of what you can change, I will avoid the obvious ones (Make more money, lose that spare tire, and have good oral hygiene). You know that the more financially and physically attractive you are the better. It doesn’t matter if you are married or not, the more you earn and the better you take care of your body, the more sex and attention you will get. Period.

What about the subtle things? What about your attitude, the books you read and what you do with your spare time? In the next post, we’ll take a look at 7 simple things you can do to begin your path to increased charisma and charm. In the meantime, visit and learn how hundreds of married men are rekindling the lust, passion and QUANTITY of sex in their lives.

If you have to ask yourself, “What would Rene Russo find attractive in me?” you are on the right path. I applaud you for aiming high! Becoming a more charismatic you is a great thing to do. Just don’t forget who you are.


Is Sex Better When You’re in Love?


How does the emotion of love relate to sex?

Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. Like many of us, we’ve had “sex” and we’ve “made love.” Ask anyone which is more satisfying and they’ll tell you that making love has way more power to it. (Even really great sex is better with someone whom you truly love!)

Love is one of the most misunderstood and complicated emotions in human existence. Perhaps that is why over 90% of songs and movies are about this topic! The approach you take to falling into, maintaining and nourishing your love is a job that never ends. I would be a fool to try and explain it. My hope for you is to simply shed a little light on love and perhaps give you some pointers to assist your personal navigation of the most confusing emotion imaginable-Love.

To deepen your understanding of the emotion love you need to delve into the subconscious mind. Your subconscious encompasses both directed emotions and indirect feelings. It is in this realm of the mind where you can open new corridors of new understanding of love.

Use of your cognitive thought process which is detached from your complex inner workings of the mind isn’t as easy as it sounds (Does that really sound easy to you?). Your mind may not be able to understand the emotional elements of your life but your personal self help approach can at least give you some light to cast on the dark and mysterious path of love.

You can automatically develop a loving relationship that can be complicated if certain components are not addressed. Step back from the question, “Is sex better when you are in love?” The bigger issue may be are you healthy enough to be in love? There may be various reasons that may get in the way of your marriage and romantic life.

Some of the most popular complications include low esteem and fear.

Low Self Esteem:
You may not believe that you are not deserving of a healthy and loving relationship. Your history and previous experiences shape who you are and your belief system. When your subconscious values are in conflict with your logical ones, love can get as confusing as these sentences!

The most effective way to deal with this is to re-wire your mind. To have a successful loving relationship, start by loving yourself. When a person has behaved badly or been treated poorly, a low self-esteem creates self-loathing. The extreme extension of this relates to child abuse and some forms of prostitution. A low self-esteem can create a desire to be loved and shallow manifestations or dangerous extensions of sex can resemble a type of love that one craves.

It’s the beginning of everything. If you cannot allow yourself to eradicate negative feelings within you, then you may feel a loving emotion but may internally suffer a conflict of emotion. This conflict needs immediate emotion and deeper understanding. Many people fail as they do not foster their love with their selves.

Fear of rejection is the reason public speaking is more feared than death itself. Your fear of being rejected by your selected mate can cause huge issues which also relate directly to self-esteem. Your fear of loss, rejection and being lonely can inhibit the free exchange of love; making it very difficult if not possible. Low esteem, fear and anxiety can be serious obstacles but you should have the power to control them through your subconscious mind. Gaining a deeper understanding of your loving emotion requires more positive self-talk. One of my favorite books on this subject is called “What to Say to When You Talk to Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter.

Is sex better when you are in love? Of course it is! Can anyone enjoy better sex by turning on the love machine. Not necessarily. Getting right with yourself, first is important. Many troubled marriages overlook this fundamental step. It is the reason 2nd marriages have a higher failure rate than first marriages. The person who left hasn’t fixed the root problem-themselves.

Developing a great self-esteem is step one to getting someone else to fall in love with you, be committed and develop the loving relationship and off the chart sex that you desire. For more ideas on creating a really smokin’ hot romance, check out my book at