Is Sex Better When You’re in Love?


How does the emotion of love relate to sex?

Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. Like many of us, we’ve had “sex” and we’ve “made love.” Ask anyone which is more satisfying and they’ll tell you that making love has way more power to it. (Even really great sex is better with someone whom you truly love!)

Love is one of the most misunderstood and complicated emotions in human existence. Perhaps that is why over 90% of songs and movies are about this topic! The approach you take to falling into, maintaining and nourishing your love is a job that never ends. I would be a fool to try and explain it. My hope for you is to simply shed a little light on love and perhaps give you some pointers to assist your personal navigation of the most confusing emotion imaginable-Love.

To deepen your understanding of the emotion love you need to delve into the subconscious mind. Your subconscious encompasses both directed emotions and indirect feelings. It is in this realm of the mind where you can open new corridors of new understanding of love.

Use of your cognitive thought process which is detached from your complex inner workings of the mind isn’t as easy as it sounds (Does that really sound easy to you?). Your mind may not be able to understand the emotional elements of your life but your personal self help approach can at least give you some light to cast on the dark and mysterious path of love.

You can automatically develop a loving relationship that can be complicated if certain components are not addressed. Step back from the question, “Is sex better when you are in love?” The bigger issue may be are you healthy enough to be in love? There may be various reasons that may get in the way of your marriage and romantic life.

Some of the most popular complications include low esteem and fear.

Low Self Esteem:
You may not believe that you are not deserving of a healthy and loving relationship. Your history and previous experiences shape who you are and your belief system. When your subconscious values are in conflict with your logical ones, love can get as confusing as these sentences!

The most effective way to deal with this is to re-wire your mind. To have a successful loving relationship, start by loving yourself. When a person has behaved badly or been treated poorly, a low self-esteem creates self-loathing. The extreme extension of this relates to child abuse and some forms of prostitution. A low self-esteem can create a desire to be loved and shallow manifestations or dangerous extensions of sex can resemble a type of love that one craves.

It’s the beginning of everything. If you cannot allow yourself to eradicate negative feelings within you, then you may feel a loving emotion but may internally suffer a conflict of emotion. This conflict needs immediate emotion and deeper understanding. Many people fail as they do not foster their love with their selves.

Fear of rejection is the reason public speaking is more feared than death itself. Your fear of being rejected by your selected mate can cause huge issues which also relate directly to self-esteem. Your fear of loss, rejection and being lonely can inhibit the free exchange of love; making it very difficult if not possible. Low esteem, fear and anxiety can be serious obstacles but you should have the power to control them through your subconscious mind. Gaining a deeper understanding of your loving emotion requires more positive self-talk. One of my favorite books on this subject is called “What to Say to When You Talk to Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter.

Is sex better when you are in love? Of course it is! Can anyone enjoy better sex by turning on the love machine. Not necessarily. Getting right with yourself, first is important. Many troubled marriages overlook this fundamental step. It is the reason 2nd marriages have a higher failure rate than first marriages. The person who left hasn’t fixed the root problem-themselves.

Developing a great self-esteem is step one to getting someone else to fall in love with you, be committed and develop the loving relationship and off the chart sex that you desire. For more ideas on creating a really smokin’ hot romance, check out my book at