My wife is not a whore.

In fact, she is an MBA with 3 teenagers and a new career that she loves. A few years ago, however, things were pretty bleak.

I had a midlife crisis, my 20 year business evaporated in less than 3 months and we lost our entire fortune due to a series of unfortunate events that nearly tore us apart-permanently.

Along the way, I stopped paying some bills. Along the way, the sex stopped. Along the way, our lives were in shambles.

Somehow, during this turmoil we managed to take infrequent breaks from the pain of bankruptcy and foreclosure and go out and see a movie or take a walk. Even a one or two hour break created a great deal of renewal and energy as we went out to tackle our obstacles and rebuild our lives.

Stress is the no.#1 killer in America.

Stress of your job, your spouse, your finances, etc. Let’s face it…stress sucks.

The stress of bill collectors can do more to kill your libido than watching re-runs of Tella Tubbies. This is especially true for women. Women crave security. Women are designed to take care, nurture and raise families. Don’t give me any arguments about woman’s liberation or careers. I don’t care. Let me prove my point.

Women are designed to be the primary care giver of families because they have breasts and men don’t. Get it? If God wanted us to share in the duties equally, he would have made us like the seahorse (I am not making this up) where the male seahorse carries and gives birth to the offspring.

Since women are designed to nurture the family, it is obvious that men are designed to PROVIDE for the family. Our job, as men, is to provide that security they crave so women can focus on two singular tasks:

1. Raising the children.
2. Making more children.

Now it doesn’t matter if your kids are teenagers or if you are done “making” babies. Our DNA doesn’t know how old we are. Women are designed to breed and the more attractive they are, the more we want to have sex with them. Survival of the fittest works both ways, guys. The more a man can provide and support the family the more attractive he is and the more a woman will open up to him.

I don’t apologize for making these examples over simplistic. Basic biology and anthropology back up what I am saying. Transferring this into the 21st century is your job.

1. Pay your bills.
2. Provide for your family.
3. Show her you are a good provider.
4. If you have financial troubles, reassure her you are going to do better.

Above all else, give her the financial, emotional and physical security she craves.

Your sex life will thank you!

You can have all the sex, romance and excitement you had when you first met. It isn’t more difficult as you get older, it just becomes more thoughtful. For more basics and ADVANCED techniques to create a sexually-charged relationship, visit http://www.makeyourwifehot.com today.

Now go pay your bills, buy her some flowers and get laid!

After a few years you may run out of positions to try…sure you’ve found your top 2-3 favorite ones…the ones that are a 100% sure fire hit and get you and your spouse to share in the euphoria.

But what about WHERE you have sex? After you’ve “broken in” the rooms in the house, done it in the car or on the back patio, where can you go to add some spice and ‘ZIP’ in the relationship? Below are a few ideas I gleaned from my personal experience as well as a few other people. (I can’t and WON’T claim having sex in church or near the dumpster…yuk!)

You’ll never run out of places or WAYS to spice up your sex life! We are not talking porn here, just some edgy stuff to give your relationship some new life and vitality. If you don’t keep doing NEW things, someone is likely to get bored and have an affair and/or get divorced. Your sex life and your marriage may be at stake!

Send me YOUR entry as to the most UNUSUAL place you’ve had sex and win a copy of my book-FREE! Send me an email to doug@makeyourwifehot.com or simply post your story or place in the comments section below.

• In a public Jacuzzi with others around.
• In my ex wife’s parent’s basement while they were home!
• In a public park pavilion in daylight.
• In the elevator at a 25 story hotel (quickie)
• In the alley next to a dumpster (empty thank God) behind a nightclub.
• On a trampoline in a college gymnasium.
• On a picnic table outside of an icehouse. People were cheering us on.
• In most of my friends bathrooms during parties.
• In the front seat during road trips (in mustangs, very hard to do).
• In my ex-boyfriend’s parents bed with my husband.
• In a Christmas display in the middle of the shopping mall.
• In the back bed of a ford f350 while being driven down the road.
• In a confessional and behind the altar.
• At an amusement park haunted house with people walking through.
• At a baseball stadium pitcher’s mound (with the pitcher of course!).
• In a jump tower on a military training field.
• At the zoo in front of the monkey cage (after hours).
• In a dentist chair (I worked in a dental office).
• On the 50 yard line at Raven Stadium at night.
• At an ice hockey arena change room in between games.
• At an elementary school in an empty class room.
• On top of a school building during a football game.
• In the ladies room at a law office during business hours.
• In a room full of guests (my girlfriend sitting on my lap and nobody was the wiser).
• In the bathroom stall at parking garage.
• In a park in the bushes next to a playground.
• Under the Rheine main bridge downtown Mannheim.
• On the roof of a high rise after a thunderstorm.
• In a church up by the organ late on a Sunday night.
• On a massage table one hour before the spa opened.
• In the darkroom at a photography lab.
• On the EXACT beach where they filmed “From Here to Eternity” in Hawaii.

Try something new and send an email to stories@makeyourwifehot.com and let me know what new and unusual place you’ve had sex. Winner of the most UNUSUAL place will get a copy of my free book. Any other stories are welcome…all names changed or hidden to protect the guilty!

For more ideas, tips, strategies and ways to spice up your sex life, have a SMOKIN’hot wife visit makeyourwifehot.com today!

My wife is NOT an exhibitionist. This is a wee bit of an obstacle because having her get a little crazy and dirty dancing in public is a bit of a turn on for me. If you are a fan of my blog and/or book, you know that her transformation from frumpy housewife to smokin’ hot MILF was HUGE!

Sex, lies and videotape was a movie starring a young James Spader and I thought it was a decent film. What my  wife and I do has NOTHING to do with that film, but the essence of role playing, videotaping your wife and getting creative is what this article is about.

We are able to turn on the passion at the drop of a hat and have the intimacy and passionate sex that is normally reserved for the movies. This kind of passion is normally reserved for newlyweds, NOT for a couple celebrating their 21st wedding anniversary.

Getting her to dirty dance at night clubs happens every so often. But if we aren’t in the mood to go out or if we are traveling and there are no “anonymous” places we can go (Not being known helps her to get out of her shell) then we sometimes get a little crazy with the camera.

Now, let’s be clear, we don’t do amateur porn or anything. But, once we start to role play a little bit, our imaginations run wild and after a half hour of having her talk in a eastern European accent and slowly fidgeting with her blouse, I get a little hot and bothered. Setting up the video camera and getting her to really heat things up can be SO seductive!

The first time we did this, honestly, I knew she wouldn’t go for the camera thing. I decided it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission, so I hid it behind some books on the table and let it run. I asked her if “Natasha” was available (This is one of our fantasy Eastern European Courtesan characters she likes to bring to our bedroom) and she said, “Da.”

Once Natasha explained how horny she was, I purposely kept the air conditioning off so she could perspire a little bit. The more Natasha breathlessly whispered how hot she was and how turned on she was, I politely asked her to unbutton her blouse and I would get her an ice tea. Actually I brought her a Long Island ice tea and as she became tipsy, her accent slipped a bit, but her sexual arousal did not.

The entire evening lasted about an hour and the videotape lasted only 45 minutes. This wasn’t a bad thing, because the shot was wide angle and I couldn’t see the soft, moist skin of my wife very well, anyway.

After I confessed that I had taped our interview and seduction, my wife laughed and said, “Natasha doesn’t care, only I do.” So, whenever I want to videotape my wife dancing, stripping, or simply record that sexy accent during a seduction scene, I only have to ask for one of our imaginary friends to accomodate us. This not only turns me on to NO END, but it allows for some serious fantasy-time with other women. And yes, I reciprocate with my wife. I have only 2 or 3 accents that I do decent enough to let her fantasies run wild, but that is MORE than enough to keep our marriage fresh, our love alive and our sexual excitement at its peak.

For more ideas, strategies and tips to make your wife hot and your marriage hotter, visit makeyourwifehot.com.

Governor Sanford, Mel Gibson, and 38 million men in their midlife can’t all be wrong! Midlife crisis (Or midlife transformation if you are a Buddhist or Zen expert) is a temporary situation. Your life isn’t over, but by the time your crisis is, you’ll be three years closer to the grave. Maybe you’ve had thoughts of taking up oil painting or taking up adrenaline-based activities like bungee jumping or  hiring hookers in Panama.

Not sure if you are in a midlife crisis? Have you had thoughts such as:

•You are seriously thinking about “hiring a pro” next time you are in Vegas.
•You recently looked in the mirror and saw your dad.
•Your wife is not appealing to you anymore (and Stacey in accounting definitely is!)
•Your sex drive is waning or you just can’t go as long as you did a few years ago.
•Your wife and you have drifted apart and don’t share the same enthusiasm for life.
•You flirt more than before and/or you have looked at more porn than usual.
•Your midsection is flabby no matter how much you diet or exercise
•You think more about the past than the future.

Hello, chump…you are in a midlife crisis!

A midlife crisis cannot be treated like any problem or challenge previously experienced. There is no article, book, or therapy session that will fix it all today. Going to a fantasy ball camp or going across the country on Harley’s with your friends won’t fix it all by itself either. The journey one must go through is just that-a journey. In order to come out of this phase BETTER, STRONGER and HAPPIER one will need to reflect, grow, and map out their personal journey. Here are 8 tips to help you cry, rejoice or stay miserable:

1. Stop reading stories about success! When a guy in MLC (midlife crisis) reads about some 11 year old learning to fly or some 28 year old billionaire, not only is it an EXTREME exception, it makes us normal guys physically sick. Read about Colonel Sanders or Ray Kroc. These guys didn’t hit their business stride until their MLC was over, and their pecker was gathering dust.

2. Share ALL your perverted thoughts with your spouse. Don’t hold back. Who cares that you “thought” about a three-some when you were in Vegas! Studies have shown that 82% of guys fantasize about it, 17% pull it off, and only 1% talk to their spouses about ANYTHING! Be a contrarian and let her know. That way she won’t be surprised if you leave her for a Peruvian cage dancer. Who knows, she may be one of the 12% of women who will entertain the idea of a three-some! If you want to try to beat these odds, go ahead and read “How to Convince your Wife to Bring Home a Girlfriend” on my blog.

3. Take some time every day to reflect, think, and beat off. Listen, your life may be at a crossroad and you may decide to keep sucking up to your boss and stay with your frumpy wife. Hell, you may even elect not to get a hooker, stay faithful and suck it up, so at least take some amount of time for yourself and be happy for 8-10 minutes!

4. Definitely exercise more. Your MLC isn’t because the world is moving faster than your Nike’s, it is because you have one Florsheim in the grave already. Don’t worry, dude, everybody returns to their youth, and just because you may be wearing diapers in a few years doesn’t mean you can’t have a sexy nurse feed you your oatmeal or leave a good looking corpse. The more you convert your frustration and anxiety into meaningful exercise, the better you will feel. Plus, if you decide to get a divorce your chances of landing a nubile 29 year old with father issues instead of your mom’s friends increases ten-fold.

5. Don’t hire an escort. It is simple psychology, really. You are getting old and your body craves young, fertile females to breed with. If you are married, you run a few risks (Duh!). I shouldn’t have to remind you, but since your brain has relocated 4 inches below your belt, you need a reminder. Your 15 minutes of pleasure will be a temporary escape from the reality of your age. You didn’t REALLY impress her, Chuck. You aren’t REALLY going to marry Julia Roberts like in Pretty Woman. (Unless you look like Richard Gere and have a few million of disposable cash)

6. Cry every once in a while in front of your wife. Go ahead, let go and let it out. When the guys get together, we won’t share THAT information! But when you let your guard down in front of her, she’ll see your vulnerability, get in touch with your sensitive side, and probably give you a hummer. In any case, you’ll win points for sharing and you deserve some kind of reward for that!

7. Find a person or venue to vent…really vent. Of all the things that will make you feel better temporarily (including physical exercise, basket weaving, or blowing stuff up) the ability to talk it out, scream, or just get the crap out of your head is very important. Many of us tend to ponder the same garbage over and over again in our brains. Dumping those thoughts either on paper, to a therapist, or a non-judgemental friend is important. (NOTE: Be sure not to dump TOO much on your buddy, otherwise you may bore him to death as he pretends to care about your garbage. Or worse, he may open up and share how HIS life is even more miserable than yours!)

8. Read a few articles on midlife transformation (Eastern philosophy). The word midlife crisis is used as a Western reference point only. It isn’t really a crisis in the grand scheme of things, after all. You haven’t lost your kids and brothers in a Nazi concentration camp, chump. It’s just that our society has paved the way for you to have SO MUCH free time, that you can actually do something with your life, if you want to. Our great grandfathers were too busy working 90 hours per week to notice they were going to croak at 48. Your situation gives you the GIFT of a second life. Don’t cry too much about it. You really can take up skeet shooting as a career as long as you’ve socked away a few bucks for the trailer home in Okeechobee.

-Doug Steponin
www.makeyourwifehot.com

When I first considered this question a few years back, the smart ass in me also asked, “DO I want my wife back?” The answer, no surprise, was “That depends!”

Most people who marry, do so for love. That love starts off with butterflies in your stomach, an intangible “connection” and probably great sex. Maintaining and stimulating excitement in a marriage is difficult…for some, near impossible.

So if you find yourself asking, “How do I get my wife back?” and you also ask, “Do I want to?” you’re not alone. In fact, both questions are important enough to be worthy of discussion. Please leave your comments here and I will publish all of them that are worth.

“Do I want my wife back?”

If you have to ask, it isn’t because you don’t love her. It is most likely because you, her and your relationship has changed. She may not be that bubbly young bride anymore. You may not be that big dreaming conqueror like you were. In fact, people, like everything else, changes. Sure, you’d like the “former” wife back…but is that possible?

Yes and No.

If you are in midlife, it will be impossible to go back to being 26 again. Many midlife guys mistakenly think that hanging out with, or re-marrying a younger woman will somehow make THEM younger. It might make them feel younger, but nobody can stop the clock of life.

Your wife, like you, is changing. How you adapt and grow with that change is important. The more you can talk openly and honestly about yourself and your feelings as you go through life, the more likely you will come to the conclusion that you do want your wife back. You married her for some reason all those years ago. Why not consider staying the course and creating a NEW love affair with her!

That brings us to “How do I get my wife back.” How you do it is very similar to how you did it in the first place. Many guys begin to take their wives for granted because of routine and complacency. When was the last time you complimented her on her cooking? How often do you send flowers for no reason? When was the last time you stared into her eyes and said, “Boy you look hot!”

If you want to get your wife back, (and yes, Chuck, there are reasons she may have “checked out” of the relationship) then you must court her. You have to patiently and without expecting ANY instant results, put her on a pedestal and treat her like the princess she once was and can become again. Why don’t you do something impulsive like buy her a gift for no reason?

The hardest part about this is the reaction you may get. It can be as callous as “Forget it…you had your chance. I’m out of here!” to “What’s got into you?” Regardless of the reaction you receive it is important to stay the course and keep those cards and letters coming! For more tips, see my website.

In order to win her back, you must start by changing YOUR attitude and your expectations. First of all, don’t expect ANYTHING in return. It may have taken you months or years for the decline in your marriage. Don’t expect it to turn around in a matter of days or weeks. Second, keep your attitude uplifting and fresh. Don’t be over dramatic or too pushy. Read her body language and be subtle.

Here are a few ideas:

• Take out the garbage early.
• Vacuum the entire house before she comes home some day.
• Help the kids with their homework.
• Wash and wax her car as a surprise.
• Send her flowers for no reason.
• Leave rose petals on your bed and bedroom floor.
• Give her a foot massage TONIGHT!
• Make her a gourmet dinner.
• Send her and her friends to the salon for 1/2 day.
• Leave her 1/2 dozen  “love you” post it notes around the house
• Kiss her gently and softly for 1/2 an hour with NO sex.
• Compliment her in public to her friends
• Put her on a pedestal REGARDLESS of her reaction.

There are thousands of things, activities and deeds you can do. Saying I love you is a great start. Showing it unconditionally will seal the deal most of the time. Speaking of time, THAT is your major weapon. If she is grumpy, frumpy or just plain disinterested, don’t despair. Your cheery attitude and bright smile is sure to wear on her eventually. Killing her with kindness will be fun! Go for it!!!

For more ideas, strategies and tips on creating a hot wife, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com today.

The g-spot is a bean-shaped, spongy mass of nerve tissue that sits just under the frontal vaginal wall. Composed of tissue that closely resembles the corpora cavernosa erectile tissue in a man’s penis, the g-spot swells in size when a woman is aroused.

It’s named after gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg, who discovered it in 1944. But it goes back farther than that, being mentioned as a “sacred spot” over one-thousand years ago by shamanic elders who were the forerunners of today’s practitioners of tantric sex.

Is the g-spot: a magical ticket to sexual bliss? It’s a controversial subject, and there are divided opinions on its very existence. Some women love g-spot stimulation, some don’t, some are ambivalent, and some women don’t seem to have one.

So, how do you find out if your lady might enjoy stimulation of this mythical buried treasure?

To locate her g-spot, it’s best for her to be aroused, as it will be easier to find in an erect state. Have her lay on her back with her hips slightly lifted or propped up on a small pillow. Put one or two fingers inside her vaginal wall towards the front of her body (belly-button side). Reach in as far as you can go, and crook your fingers toward you in a “come hither” type movement, sliding your finger/s along the vaginal wall until you find a rough-textured area. The g-spot should feel ridged or nubbly compared to the rest of the vaginal canal and is generally found about 2 inches in, although it can lie pretty much anywhere along the front of the vaginal canal – even as far back as the cervix. It’s really more of an area then an actual “spot.”

Once you’ve determined that she has one, what do you do with it? Well, that depends. Some women enjoy g-spot stimulation and some women don’t. Be aware that how much she enjoys it may also depend on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

Often, the first sensation a woman will feel with stimulation of the g-spot is an urgent need to pee. This sensation usually passes fairly quickly, however, so if you’re both patient you can get past it and to the good stuff. It may be a good idea for her to make sure her bladder is empty before stimulation!

To manually stimulate the g-spot, you will need to experiment with different pressures and motions. Communicate to find out what is most pleasurable for her. Moving your finger/s in that “come hither” motion works well for a lot of women. Because the g-spot is located inside of the vaginal wall, you may need to exert a fair bit of pressure to stimulate it. Don’t be afraid to use a firm touch.

Using the fingers in a “tapping” motion works very well to stimulate the g-spot. Tap the area with your fingers and try varying the speed and firmness of the tapping.

Try to “work” the area with small circles. Each woman is different and may appreciate different stimulation techniques.

Also try using your other hand on the outside of her body and apply soft, downward pressure just above her pubic hairline. This may increase the stimulation by “sandwiching” the area between both hands. Don’t count out toys that are specifically made for g-spot stimulation. It can take some of the guesswork out of stimulation.

As for stimulation during sex, there are positions that can help you make intimate contact. If your dick naturally curves upward, you may have a built-in ability to stimulate her g-spot! If you don’t, then any position that maximizes contact with the front of her vaginal wall will work well. Woman-on-top-facing-you works well, she can also slightly lean back to take advantage of more front-vaginal contact. The missionary position works well if you prop her hips up – and works even better if she’s laying on the edge of something and you’re standing on the floor. You may not even need to prop her hips up. By standing, you have more control over the angle your dick goes in at. For advanced techniques at stimulating her brain along with her body, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com.

Remember, each woman will have her preferences. Experiment and find out what works for your lady. She may really enjoy it, she may be annoyed by it or find it uncomfortable – or she may not even have one.

As women age they may respond more positively to g-spot stimulation. This is because their estrogen levels begin to decline and this causes their vaginal lining to become thinner, allowing easier access to the g-spot.

Importantly, some women can even ejaculate with g-spot stimulation! But keep in mind that the g-spot is not some kind of “magic button.” Just as with any other part of the body, some women will find its stimulation highly arousing, while others won’t. Don’t get too caught up in the semantics or treat it like a holy quest. Just enjoy the sexual exploration.

For more ideas and real -world advice on making YOUR wife hot, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com.

The post below is re-blogged from Cindy English and her site, “Cheating Ways” She does not condone or judge the issue of infidelity. Her site has great material on the ins and outs (sorry about that pun!) of infidelity. I added a few comments as well.

The question is as old as the problem itself…

Why do men cheat?
Is monogamy really a myth?
Are guys predestined to cheat because it is human nature?

Scientists have long explained that men are biologically motivated to seek out multiple sex partners. This natural instinct ensures a healthy gene pool and the survival of our species.

If this is true, then one cannot expect fidelity from a man. It kind of lets guys off the hook when they wander doesn’t it?

So why do they feel guilty? If it is a man’s biological right to have sex wherever, whenever, with whomever, why should they worry about being caught?

Because somewhere along the way, self imposed “ethics” and “morality” placed restrictions on human behavior…including sex!

Perhaps if guys didn’t seem to derive such pleasure from sex, it wouldn’t be such a sin. Think about it. If sex with multiple partners were just another “chore” for men as cleaning house and cooking meals is to women, would we get upset about it?

Probably not…poor guys!
Nevertheless…men do enjoy sex…a lot…and not always with their partner!

Here are their Top 10 reasons…

I’d like to say that they are in no particular order but, we all know what guys say is the number one reason that they cheat. Remember ladies, the jokes about sex ending when marriage begins, wouldn’t be funny if there weren’t some truth to them!

1. Not getting enough at home! Women tend to get caught up in “life” and sex gets put on the “back burner”. She may be bent over helping the kids tie their shoes but he’s still looking at her “nice ass”. God…is that all they think about?
2. It’s reassuring to know that he’s still “got it”. Time has a way of making us all feel less sexy and desirable. A little forbidden rendezvous can be a real shot to a sagging male ego.
3. The wife just isn’t physically appealing anymore. Face it, women do tend to let themselves go. Often they get too busy raising their families and neglect themselves. They are too tired to put on make up or do those thigh slimming exercises. The result? A sexy new secretary and whatdayaknow…”Honey…I have to work late”! Don’t let this happen. Your wife WANTS to be hot and your support and encouragement may be the catlyst she needs.
4. Sex at home is boring. The wife doesn’t like to try new things (or old things – namely, blow jobs!). To men, variety is the spice of life and he may have some sexual urges that his wife is not willing to fulfill. He may have some ideas that he would rather his wife didn’t know about. Can you say “manage-a-trios”?
5. He just couldn’t say no. The woman was hot and all over him. It just seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity…too good to pass up. This is where the phrase “thinking with their little head” came from!
6. The wife just isn’t fun anymore. She worries, she nags, she fusses and they fight all of the time. He cheats to “get away from it all”. Guys, this is half YOUR fault! Be sure to be fun yourself and treat her right.
7. He just doesn’t love his wife anymore. And just how do you tell someone that tactfully? It is easier to have an affair than it is to deal with the pain and emotional upheaval of such a confession. On the other hand…if he is caught cheating? Well, the door is then opened for a speedy exit!
8. The thrill of the chase is exhilarating. Some men are truly addicted not only to the act of sex itself, but to the hunt. They thrive on the rush they get when they are able to conquer even the toughest “ice queen”. It’s not about love, it’s about control and winning! Men are built for competition and war.
9. They cheat because they can. Many men know that their wives are insecure and dependant on them. They also know that low self esteem and a fear of being alone will keep her “in place” and “at home” no matter what, or who they do. So, why not? Variety – remember?
10. And finally, men cheat to get even! It is an absolute blow to the male ego for his sexual prowess to be in question. Why else would a woman cheat on him? His own affair as a result, serves two purposes, revenge and reassurance of manhood.

These are the top 10 reasons. There are probably many more. Are any of them “excuseable”? Mmmm…a couple…maybe (although most women won’t agree).

Are any of them “preventable”?
Of course.

Although monogamy may not human nature…it is a choice!

For more ideas and strategies to create a LOVE AFFAIR with your wife, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com and have the passionate relationship you deserve.

As any responsible journalist (Is that what I am now? LOL) it is my duty to not only share what I know about love, sex, marriage, and intimacy from a man’s perspective, but also check out what the ladies are thinking! I know the old jokes about it being impossible to understand women, but as you read my blog and book, you’ll see that it is really quite simple and boils down to open, honest, and NON-JUDGMENTAL communication. I was reading an article from  the site, www.100marriagequestions.com today about “How to get your husband to do the dishes” and burst out in laughter!!! OBVIOUSLY written by a counselor or a woman, they gave the reader 6 techniques on how to influence him to help out around the house.

Of course you guys MUST help out around the house…it is a team thing, this marriage! But, men know that of all the 6 “ideas” and “strategies” of influencing us to change our behavior, talking and threats don’t work! The LAST idea works 100% of the time, of course. Since it was a short article, I hope the author placed it last as the final and most EFFECTIVE method.

As a man, that’s the way I read it…Here is that last tip:

Have sex: frankly, many people will use all kinds of excuses to explain why they are frustrated, except the real truth. And the truth might be that you are just feeling neglected. Be honest with yourself and discuss it with your husband. And there is nothing wrong with leaving the dishes in the sink while you both take care of more important business right there in the kitchen. The messier, the merrier.100marriagequestions.com, How Can You Get Your husband to Do the Dishes?, Aug 2009

You should read the whole article.

I was not in love with her anymore…I sat in the car, with the rain streaming down my windshield feeling utterly hopeless. My life, family, passion, legacy, friends…it was all at a crossroads. It looked as though either road was going to be filled with pain and suffering…great.

That event happened over 3 years ago and sometimes, when we still disagree, I have a flash of “Did I make the right choice to stick this out?” Divorce would have been easier, I tell myself. Sure, the pain would be throbbing in our heads. But, all pain is temporary, Doug. Eventually, you two could move ON with your life and start fresh. Millions of people do it. Why not join the ranks, find your true self and get on with it…

Ahhh…the children…Yes, we have 3 incredible children. How can you “abandon” them? I can’t. I won’t. I didn’t.

Families going through these issues need to do just that…go THROUGH them. After countless counseling sessions, my wife and I both realized several things that we must reinforce in our lives every day.

1. No one person can meet all of our needs. Expecting your spouse to be EVERYTHING to you isn’t normal.

2. It is OK to share thoughts, feelings, and ideas without expecting a response or personifying it. If I feel a certain way, it does NOT mean that you caused it or are to blame. Those are my feelings and issues; I must take charge of them.

3. The pain and suffering of sticking it out in a “hopeless” marriage isn’t easy. I do believe it is easier to get divorced. But, I also don’t believe any situation is hopeless. Like Captain Kirk so proudly states, “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.” There is a solution to your marital pain that can create a renewal of self AND us. Being strong individuals FIRST is so important if there is to ever be a marriage again.

4. Take stock in who you are, what you want, and clearly lay it out to yourself first, then to your spouse. Find points and areas where you agree and compliment each other. On the areas where you do not agree, simply acknowledge that BOTH of you have those and it is NORMAL to have them.

There is a whole lot more to discuss on this topic and your comments are welcome. Staying together for the children is a great place to start, but it shouldn’t end there. Rekindling a marriage can be fun if you take the attitude you had when you dated. We used a system called “Light Your Fire” and it worked VERY well. I borrowed many of these concepts in integrated them into my book, “Make Your Wife Hot” which may be a chauvinistic title, but has great emotional content that ladies can use as well.

Part 1 of a 3 part series….stay tuned