5 Things Men Want More Than SEX

Doug

kissing_is_good_1I recently asked a friend of mine what men want in a relationship and she point blank told me, “That’s the easiest question ever,” she said. “Men just want sex!”

While her response was obvious, my response to her was not.

In studying and writing about relationships, sexuality and marriage for years, my husband and I have distilled the whole ‘love and relationship’ game to some basic communication fundamentals. Our blog sheds some light on communication basics and advanced strategies to create a passionate romance regardless of how long you’ve been together.

Would you be surprised if I told you sex isn’t even in the top 5 things men really want from their partner? Sure, they are visual and seem quite myopic in their hunger for sex. But, sex and the pleasure it provides isn’t the final emotional feeling that men want from their girlfriends and wives, in the end, it’s five other often overlooked and under-appreciated things that men crave, desire, want, and need to make their relationship the envy of their peers. Each of these five things can *lead* to great sex, but none require it. Curious? Read on…

Women, when your man feels at his best, he will seek out every opportunity to spend more time with you and to satisfy your needs. So, it’s in your best interest to give him what he wants (and it’s easier than you would ever believe), so you’ll get more of what you want. See how it works?

1.  Men Want To Be Adored

In every man, there is a little boy (Remember what a baby he is when he is sick?). A man’s ego is fragile. Before the industrial revolution, the man with the most amount of wealth (we’ll leave out the “big harem” example) was the strongest warrior and/or the most successful hunter. Ever since he’s traded in his spear for a pda, men have defined their masculinity through sports and/or financial success. The more you give him SPECIFIC accolades about his success, the clearer your message of love and respect will be towards him. Tell him why you love him so much, often and clearly. Let him know that he is important to you. Just as you may be his Princess, your man wants to know he’s your Prince.

2.  Men Want To Be Consulted

There is no need to pretend you’re stupid, but when you find something your man is knowledgeable or passionate about, let him take the stage. When you show a sincere interest in his knowledge base, the more you subtly stroke his ego. Again, don’t be sarcastic or placating. The more you take a sincere interest in his work and hobbies, the stronger your connection will become. Ask his opinion and let him feel he’s an active part of your decisions and choices.

3.  Men Want To Be Trusted

Many of us have been hurt or lied to, but if your man isn’t the one who hurt you, trust him. After we are hurt, we tend to keep our guard up. “Guilty until proven innocent” is a popular attitude after one is hurt. Trust must be earned after a person has lied, of course. But “innocent until proven guilty” can go a long way to building more of a connection that can lead to a two-way street of trust. Go out of your way to give him no reason to doubt you and your own trustworthiness. Let him know you feel safe and secure with him.

4.  Men Want To Feel Sexy

Of course it is time to stroke his…uhmm….ego, but men like to feel sexy, handsome or fit just as much as women do. You will get SO much mileage out of a few “Do you know how sexy you are to me?” or “You look hot in that!” comments. Keep the compliments sincere and specific. Don’t praise his beer gut and say, “More to love!” Like you, he knows what areas he has to work on. However, the more you point out his strong points, the more he will work on correcting his weaknesses as well. Additionally, he will start appreciating and complimenting you more too!

5.  Men Want You To Be Their Friend

Many men don’t have the traditional social outlets that women do to discuss their emotions, dreams, and fears. By being his friend first, without judging, you allow him to open up. Interestingly, men RARELY open up to other men. They are taught at an early age NOT to shed a tear which results in them not sharing their feelings in general. Coincidentally, most affairs are born from this. A man may have a difficult time sharing his deep troubles with his wife, but can with his secretary. OOPS! Be sure you set up a “safe zone” of conversation which allows him to be vulnerable and open. Letting him know that this “safe zone” (Both verbally and geographically) in NO WAY diminishes your opinion of his manliness in all other areas.

The love of a woman can make or break a man. The woman who criticizes her man creates what she despises. The woman who encourages her man and gives him what he truly wants creates what she inspires. Give your man what he wants and your life, your relationship, and your love will get better with every passing day. You will experience more loving, more caressing and more attention from your man than you ever imagined possible!

For more strategies and ideas on creating a sexually-charged romance with you wife, read my husband’s book makeyourwifehot.com and get YOUR wife to be as hot as me!

-Chris Steponin


How To Get My Wife Back

Doug

When I first considered this question a few years back, the smart ass in me also asked, “DO I want my wife back?” The answer, no surprise, was “That depends!”

Most people who marry, do so for love. That love starts off with butterflies in your stomach, an intangible “connection” and probably great sex. Maintaining and stimulating excitement in a marriage is difficult…for some, near impossible.

So if you find yourself asking, “How do I get my wife back?” and you also ask, “Do I want to?” you’re not alone. In fact, both questions are important enough to be worthy of discussion. Please leave your comments here and I will publish all of them that are worth.

“Do I want my wife back?”

If you have to ask, it isn’t because you don’t love her. It is most likely because you, her and your relationship has changed. She may not be that bubbly young bride anymore. You may not be that big dreaming conqueror like you were. In fact, people, like everything else, changes. Sure, you’d like the “former” wife back…but is that possible?

Yes and No.

If you are in midlife, it will be impossible to go back to being 26 again. Many midlife guys mistakenly think that hanging out with, or re-marrying a younger woman will somehow make THEM younger. It might make them feel younger, but nobody can stop the clock of life.

Your wife, like you, is changing. How you adapt and grow with that change is important. The more you can talk openly and honestly about yourself and your feelings as you go through life, the more likely you will come to the conclusion that you do want your wife back. You married her for some reason all those years ago. Why not consider staying the course and creating a NEW love affair with her!

That brings us to “How do I get my wife back.” How you do it is very similar to how you did it in the first place. Many guys begin to take their wives for granted because of routine and complacency. When was the last time you complimented her on her cooking? How often do you send flowers for no reason? When was the last time you stared into her eyes and said, “Boy you look hot!”

If you want to get your wife back, (and yes, Chuck, there are reasons she may have “checked out” of the relationship) then you must court her. You have to patiently and without expecting ANY instant results, put her on a pedestal and treat her like the princess she once was and can become again. Why don’t you do something impulsive like buy her a gift for no reason?

The hardest part about this is the reaction you may get. It can be as callous as “Forget it…you had your chance. I’m out of here!” to “What’s got into you?” Regardless of the reaction you receive it is important to stay the course and keep those cards and letters coming! For more tips, see my website.

In order to win her back, you must start by changing YOUR attitude and your expectations. First of all, don’t expect ANYTHING in return. It may have taken you months or years for the decline in your marriage. Don’t expect it to turn around in a matter of days or weeks. Second, keep your attitude uplifting and fresh. Don’t be over dramatic or too pushy. Read her body language and be subtle.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Take out the garbage early.
  • Vacuum the entire house before she comes home some day.
  • Help the kids with their homework.
  • Wash and wax her car as a surprise.
  • Send her flowers for no reason.
  • Leave rose petals on your bed and bedroom floor.
  • Give her a foot massage TONIGHT!
  • Make her a gourmet dinner.
  • Send her and her friends to the salon for 1/2 day.
  • Leave her 1/2 dozen  “love you” post it notes around the house
  • Kiss her gently and softly for 1/2 an hour with NO sex.
  • Compliment her in public to her friends
  • Put her on a pedestal REGARDLESS of her reaction.

There are thousands of things, activities and deeds you can do. Saying I love you is a great start. Showing it unconditionally will seal the deal most of the time. Speaking of time, THAT is your major weapon. If she is grumpy, frumpy or just plain disinterested, don’t despair. Your cheery attitude and bright smile is sure to wear on her eventually. Killing her with kindness will be fun! Go for it!!!

For more ideas, strategies and tips on creating a hot wife, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com today.


G-Spot Basics

Doug

woman_orgasmThe g-spot is a bean-shaped, spongy mass of nerve tissue that sits just under the frontal vaginal wall. Composed of tissue that closely resembles the corpora cavernosa erectile tissue in a man’s penis, the g-spot swells in size when a woman is aroused.

It’s named after gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg, who discovered it in 1944. But it goes back farther than that, being mentioned as a “sacred spot” over one-thousand years ago by shamanic elders who were the forerunners of today’s practitioners of tantric sex.

Is the g-spot: a magical ticket to sexual bliss? It’s a controversial subject, and there are divided opinions on its very existence. Some women love g-spot stimulation, some don’t, some are ambivalent, and some women don’t seem to have one.

So, how do you find out if your lady might enjoy stimulation of this mythical buried treasure?

To locate her g-spot, it’s best for her to be aroused, as it will be easier to find in an erect state. Have her lay on her back with her hips slightly lifted or propped up on a small pillow. Put one or two fingers inside her vaginal wall towards the front of her body (belly-button side). Reach in as far as you can go, and crook your fingers toward you in a “come hither” type movement, sliding your finger/s along the vaginal wall until you find a rough-textured area. The g-spot should feel ridged or nubbly compared to the rest of the vaginal canal and is generally found about 2 inches in, although it can lie pretty much anywhere along the front of the vaginal canal – even as far back as the cervix. It’s really more of an area then an actual “spot.”

Once you’ve determined that she has one, what do you do with it? Well, that depends. Some women enjoy g-spot stimulation and some women don’t. Be aware that how much she enjoys it may also depend on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

Often, the first sensation a woman will feel with stimulation of the g-spot is an urgent need to pee. This sensation usually passes fairly quickly, however, so if you’re both patient you can get past it and to the good stuff. It may be a good idea for her to make sure her bladder is empty before stimulation!

To manually stimulate the g-spot, you will need to experiment with different pressures and motions. Communicate to find out what is most pleasurable for her. Moving your finger/s in that “come hither” motion works well for a lot of women. Because the g-spot is located inside of the vaginal wall, you may need to exert a fair bit of pressure to stimulate it. Don’t be afraid to use a firm touch.

Using the fingers in a “tapping” motion works very well to stimulate the g-spot. Tap the area with your fingers and try varying the speed and firmness of the tapping.

Try to “work” the area with small circles. Each woman is different and may appreciate different stimulation techniques.

Also try using your other hand on the outside of her body and apply soft, downward pressure just above her pubic hairline. This may increase the stimulation by “sandwiching” the area between both hands. Don’t count out toys that are specifically made for g-spot stimulation. It can take some of the guesswork out of stimulation.

As for stimulation during sex, there are positions that can help you make intimate contact. If your dick naturally curves upward, you may have a built-in ability to stimulate her g-spot! If you don’t, then any position that maximizes contact with the front of her vaginal wall will work well. Woman-on-top-facing-you works well, she can also slightly lean back to take advantage of more front-vaginal contact. The missionary position works well if you prop her hips up – and works even better if she’s laying on the edge of something and you’re standing on the floor. You may not even need to prop her hips up. By standing, you have more control over the angle your dick goes in at. For advanced techniques at stimulating her brain along with her body, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com.

Remember, each woman will have her preferences. Experiment and find out what works for your lady. She may really enjoy it, she may be annoyed by it or find it uncomfortable – or she may not even have one.

As women age they may respond more positively to g-spot stimulation. This is because their estrogen levels begin to decline and this causes their vaginal lining to become thinner, allowing easier access to the g-spot.

Importantly, some women can even ejaculate with g-spot stimulation! But keep in mind that the g-spot is not some kind of “magic button.” Just as with any other part of the body, some women will find its stimulation highly arousing, while others won’t. Don’t get too caught up in the semantics or treat it like a holy quest. Just enjoy the sexual exploration.

For more ideas and real -world advice on making YOUR wife hot, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com.


Top 10 Reasons Men Cheat

Doug

The post below is re-blogged from Cindy English and her site, “Cheating Ways” She does not condone or judge the issue of infidelity. Her site has great material on the ins and outs (sorry about that pun!) of infidelity. I added a few comments as well.

The question is as old as the problem itself…

Why do men cheat?
Is monogamy really a myth?
Are guys predestined to cheat because it is human nature?

Scientists have long explained that men are biologically motivated to seek out multiple sex partners. This natural instinct ensures a healthy gene pool and the survival of our species.

If this is true, then one cannot expect fidelity from a man. It kind of lets guys off the hook when they wander doesn’t it?

So why do they feel guilty? If it is a man’s biological right to have sex wherever, whenever, with whomever, why should they worry about being caught?

Because somewhere along the way, self imposed “ethics” and “morality” placed restrictions on human behavior…including sex!

Perhaps if guys didn’t seem to derive such pleasure from sex, it wouldn’t be such a sin. Think about it. If sex with multiple partners were just another “chore” for men as cleaning house and cooking meals is to women, would we get upset about it?

Probably not…poor guys!
Nevertheless…men do enjoy sex…a lot…and not always with their partner!

Here are their Top 10 reasons…

I’d like to say that they are in no particular order but, we all know what guys say is the number one reason that they cheat. Remember ladies, the jokes about sex ending when marriage begins, wouldn’t be funny if there weren’t some truth to them!

  1. Not getting enough at home! Women tend to get caught up in “life” and sex gets put on the “back burner”. She may be bent over helping the kids tie their shoes but he’s still looking at her “nice ass”. God…is that all they think about?
  2. It’s reassuring to know that he’s still “got it”. Time has a way of making us all feel less sexy and desirable. A little forbidden rendezvous can be a real shot to a sagging male ego.
  3. The wife just isn’t physically appealing anymore. Face it, women do tend to let themselves go. Often they get too busy raising their families and neglect themselves. They are too tired to put on make up or do those thigh slimming exercises. The result? A sexy new secretary and whatdayaknow…”Honey…I have to work late”! Don’t let this happen. Your wife WANTS to be hot and your support and encouragement may be the catlyst she needs.
  4. Sex at home is boring. The wife doesn’t like to try new things (or old things – namely, blow jobs!). To men, variety is the spice of life and he may have some sexual urges that his wife is not willing to fulfill. He may have some ideas that he would rather his wife didn’t know about. Can you say “manage-a-trios”?
  5. He just couldn’t say no. The woman was hot and all over him. It just seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity…too good to pass up. This is where the phrase “thinking with their little head” came from!
  6. The wife just isn’t fun anymore. She worries, she nags, she fusses and they fight all of the time. He cheats to “get away from it all”. Guys, this is half YOUR fault! Be sure to be fun yourself and treat her right.
  7. He just doesn’t love his wife anymore. And just how do you tell someone that tactfully? It is easier to have an affair than it is to deal with the pain and emotional upheaval of such a confession. On the other hand…if he is caught cheating? Well, the door is then opened for a speedy exit!
  8. The thrill of the chase is exhilarating. Some men are truly addicted not only to the act of sex itself, but to the hunt. They thrive on the rush they get when they are able to conquer even the toughest “ice queen”. It’s not about love, it’s about control and winning! Men are built for competition and war.
  9. They cheat because they can. Many men know that their wives are insecure and dependant on them. They also know that low self esteem and a fear of being alone will keep her “in place” and “at home” no matter what, or who they do. So, why not? Variety – remember?
  10. And finally, men cheat to get even! It is an absolute blow to the male ego for his sexual prowess to be in question. Why else would a woman cheat on him? His own affair as a result, serves two purposes, revenge and reassurance of manhood.

These are the top 10 reasons. There are probably many more. Are any of them “excuseable”? Mmmm…a couple…maybe (although most women won’t agree).

Are any of them “preventable”?
Of course.

Although monogamy may not human nature…it is a choice!

For more ideas and strategies to create a LOVE AFFAIR with your wife, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com and have the passionate relationship you deserve.


How Can You Get Your Husband To Do The Dishes?

Doug

As any responsible journalist (Is that what I am now? LOL) it is my duty to not only share what I know about love, sex, marriage, and intimacy from a man’s perspective, but also check out what the ladies are thinking! I know the old jokes about it being impossible to understand women, but as you read my blog and book, you’ll see that it is really quite simple and boils down to open, honest, and NON-JUDGMENTAL communication. I was reading an article from  the site, www.100marriagequestions.com today about “How to get your husband to do the dishes” and burst out in laughter!!! OBVIOUSLY written by a counselor or a woman, they gave the reader 6 techniques on how to influence him to help out around the house.

Of course you guys MUST help out around the house…it is a team thing, this marriage! But, men know that of all the 6 “ideas” and “strategies” of influencing us to change our behavior, talking and threats don’t work! The LAST idea works 100% of the time, of course. Since it was a short article, I hope the author placed it last as the final and most EFFECTIVE method.

As a man, that’s the way I read it…Here is that last tip:

Have sex: frankly, many people will use all kinds of excuses to explain why they are frustrated, except the real truth. And the truth might be that you are just feeling neglected. Be honest with yourself and discuss it with your husband. And there is nothing wrong with leaving the dishes in the sink while you both take care of more important business right there in the kitchen. The messier, the merrier.100marriagequestions.com, How Can You Get Your husband to Do the Dishes?, Aug 2009

You should read the whole article.


Choose Your Pain: Stay Married or Get Divorced

Doug

I was not in love with her anymore…I sat in the car, with the rain streaming down my windshield feeling utterly hopeless. My life, family, passion, legacy, friends…it was all at a crossroads. It looked as though either road was going to be filled with pain and suffering…great.

That event happened over 3 years ago and sometimes, when we still disagree, I have a flash of “Did I make the right choice to stick this out?” Divorce would have been easier, I tell myself. Sure, the pain would be throbbing in our heads. But, all pain is temporary, Doug. Eventually, you two could move ON with your life and start fresh. Millions of people do it. Why not join the ranks, find your true self and get on with it…

Ahhh…the children…Yes, we have 3 incredible children. How can you “abandon” them? I can’t. I won’t. I didn’t.

Families going through these issues need to do just that…go THROUGH them. After countless counseling sessions, my wife and I both realized several things that we must reinforce in our lives every day.

1. No one person can meet all of our needs. Expecting your spouse to be EVERYTHING to you isn’t normal.

2. It is OK to share thoughts, feelings, and ideas without expecting a response or personifying it. If I feel a certain way, it does NOT mean that you caused it or are to blame. Those are my feelings and issues; I must take charge of them.

3. The pain and suffering of sticking it out in a “hopeless” marriage isn’t easy. I do believe it is easier to get divorced. But, I also don’t believe any situation is hopeless. Like Captain Kirk so proudly states, “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.” There is a solution to your marital pain that can create a renewal of self AND us. Being strong individuals FIRST is so important if there is to ever be a marriage again.

4. Take stock in who you are, what you want, and clearly lay it out to yourself first, then to your spouse. Find points and areas where you agree and compliment each other. On the areas where you do not agree, simply acknowledge that BOTH of you have those and it is NORMAL to have them.

There is a whole lot more to discuss on this topic and your comments are welcome. Staying together for the children is a great place to start, but it shouldn’t end there. Rekindling a marriage can be fun if you take the attitude you had when you dated. We used a system called “Light Your Fire” and it worked VERY well. I borrowed many of these concepts in integrated them into my book, “Make Your Wife Hot” which may be a chauvinistic title, but has great emotional content that ladies can use as well.

Part 1 of a 3 part series….stay tuned


New Hot Spots for My Hot Wife

Doug

You have favorite parts of your wife’s body that you most frequently like to explore, but there is more to her than a vagina, breasts and butt. The largest amount of nerve endings for sexual stimulation may be packed into those areas, but she has pleasure sensors all over her body, and the more you are able to treat her ENTIRE body like a temple, the less you’ll be accused of being a “pig with a one track mind.” Incorporating a variety of touching into these places during foreplay and sex, or just giving her some pleasure after a hard day, will definitely earn you some brownie points. Besides, just because you KNOW what makes her click doesn’t mean you can’t find/create/invent NEW ways to stimulate her body and soul!

Hair

Going to the salon or spa is like a mini-vacation for most women. Treat your wife to a spa treatment as often as you can. The process of wash, cut, color, and styling can actually be quite a stress reliever. My wife REALLY loves to have her scalp massaged. Ask anyone who goes to the salon what their favorite part is and they’ll tell you the shampooing! Running your hands gently through her hair is a surefire way to send tingles down her spine. After you massage her scalp a bit, let your fingers massage circles from her temples to the nape of her neck and gently blow in her ear…hmmm….

Nape of her neck

Japanese culture regards the nape of the neck as THE most sensual part of a woman’s body. Don’t believe me? Take a look at 100 art pieces and you’ll find over half of the images of woman reveal the back of her neck. Once you get to the nape of her neck, lightly kiss it followed by a gentle neck rub. The nape of the neck is often neglected in favor of more obvious pleasure centers, but never underestimate the power of gentle touches and kisses from her hairline to her shoulders.

Small of her back

The best way to guide your woman through a crowd is to place your hand against the small of her back. This small gesture shows that you feel protective of her without being too pushy like an arm around the shoulder might be. Touching and holding the small of her back gives her support, comfort and a feeling of protection. Next time you are engaged in foreplay, use that feeling of security to your advantage by spending a few moments there with your hands, mouth and fingers.

Behind her knees

This area is one that most men don’t think of when trying to stimulate a woman, but it is, in fact, quite sensitive. Gently caressing the back of the knee under her skirt while the two of you are in a public place will make her ready to get busy once you get home. Don’t forget to pay some more attention to this special spot once you’re alone too. Giving erotic massages to your wife is foreplay 101, and the more you focus on all the forgotten parts of her body, the more she will realize you love ALL of her! Showing her that love non-sexually AND sexually is important to the relationship you are building and growing. My book was created out of necessity to re-charge my 21 year marriage that was on the brink of disaster. It’s more than a book, it’s a rescue tool for ANY relationship.

Palms of her hands

Ditto for massaging hands. With more women working on keyboards, holding children and doing more physical labor than most men, focusing on her hands is a great start. People often use their hands as tools to please their partners, but rarely do they consider the pleasure potential of stimulating the hands themselves. The palm of a woman’s hand is an innocuous spot to focus a little attention on without making people around you uncomfortable. Tracing your finger along her palm will give her delightful shivers and make you appear sensitive and attentive.

Earlobes

Touching, kissing and even lightly biting the earlobes of your woman will up the bliss factor for her. These delicate, soft lobes are very sensitive and most women thoroughly enjoy the sensation of having a man’s lips on them. Whispering sweet nothings into her ear, or naughty somethings can send her into unimaginable anticipation depending on what you say and when. If you aren’t too poetic, focus on the nibbling, blowing and kissing. Don’t think that jamming your tongue inside her ear is sexy or romantic. Slow, soft, steady and subtle are the keywords here.

Feet

A GOOD foot massage to help her relax, is often better than a back massage especially if she is on her feet all day. Use some massage oil or lotion to make the experience more pleasurable (and possibly reduce foot odor). Don’t forget to pay some attention to her toes, ankles and the sides of her feet too. Bending the toes back and forth is a great start. My wife really enjoys it when I massage her individual “piggies” one by one, rolling my fingers around each of her toes. If she is ticklish, be nice!

Inner thighs

Touching her inner thighs and NOT going into her vagina will make for an excellent tease that is sure to get excited. Kiss the insides of her thighs, getting excruciatingly close to her ultimate pleasure spot, and then pull back before going all the way. If you can’t resist and find yourself on her vagina while doing this, there are no rules that say you can’t go back to her thighs midstream. In fact, the teasing involved with STOPPING oral sex extends the anticipation of the orgasm and strengthens the inevitable rush of euphoria.

Conclusion

Her entire body is covered with nerve endings that could be stimulated, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have some places that simply don’t do anything for her. Some women can’t stand to have their wrists, face or other areas touched. Exploration with permission is the plan here, buddy. As you explore, you’ll learn which places your touch has the best effect on and which you should avoid. One place that works 100% of the time is her heart. Be sure to buy her a gift every once in a while. If there is no reason to do so, that IS the perfect reason to do so.

For more ideas, strategies and tactics on creating a sexually-charged relationship for life, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com.


Sex Text for More REAL Sex

Doug

I never would have thought that learning to text would INCREASE my sexual activity….but it has!

Guys, if you haven’t learned to text, then spend a few minutes with your teenager and learn…today! You will get an added benefit of being a really cool dad in the process. Texting my wife in the middle of the day, on a train, or during a wedding has added to the ongoing titillation that has created MORE sexual tension and energy in my life than ever before. Below are a few do’s and don’ts to make sure you create the excitement and sexual tension that will make your wife hot! For more ideas, please check out my book. Below are some pointers that have served me well and given me more sex than  I can possibly handle:

DO:
Tease her at odd times. During a boring meeting,  middle of the day, during dinner, or anytime that is unexpected.

DON’T:
Blatantly say you want to have sex. Tease her with nice sayings, hinting towards romance, or a role of a lover.

DO:
Keep your texts short and mysterious. Long texts take away the insinuation or mystery. Less is more.

DON’T:
Always answer your texts immediately. If you need a moment to come up with a great response-take it.

DO:
Be more aggressive. I once asked my wife to remove her panties during a train ride. I didn’t give up and repeated my request for over 45 minutes. If I had been verbally asking, it would have been annoying. Texting, for some reason, removes the annoying part and made it funny.

DON’T:
Use texting to cause any jealousy. If you are not in the same room, any jealousy insinuations may not be taken as humor. Texting removes visual cues that we need to fully understand some humor or wise cracks. Be sure to keep your messages directed only towards your lover.

DO:
Send pictures if you are apart for any length of time. A NEW picture of you gives her the feeling that you want to show yourself to her. Asking her to reciprocate is appropriate and shows her you want her. BONUS for requesting and recieving naughty pictures that are seductive or have any amount of nudity.

Text to your hearts content. Be respectful, but adventureous. The more you surprise her with unusual requests, words, and phrases the better. Don’t worry about when you text or what she’s doing when you send them. The more she gets an UNEXPECTED text, the better your chances of turning that idea into reality when you see her. For more ideas on creating the most sexually-charged relationship imaginable and having a very hot wife, visit my site at www.makeyourwifehot.com.


Wedding Anniversary

Doug

Well, today marks my 21st wedding anniversary. INCREDIBLE!
Like many of you, not all 21 have been a bed of roses. With 3 kids, a business that collapsed, a separation, my midlife crisis, affairs and child medical issues, our family therapist stated that the odds were definitely against us. Our “Train wreck” was virtually unsurvivable.

With patience and an open mind, we pieced together remnants of our past, our values, and our needs and pressed forward. Where most people give up out of an excessive amount of pain, we pushed forward. Our book and blog explain it all.

We didn’t always know what the outcome would be. Our hearts very often sought the escape valve of divorce. The separation often gave both of us required space to collect our thoughts and garner some introspection without the pressures of being a “couple.”

There is no “end” of course. We continue to talk, laugh, love and lust for one another. The past issues are constantly in our psyche. We can never eliminate our mistakes-only learn from them.

Increasing sexual desire and pleasure after sleeping with the same person for 22 years (yeah…premarital sex) isn’t easy. My personality craves excitement, adventure and “newness.”

My wife and I nearly divorced not because of my cheating, but because we didn’t know how to communicate the REASONS I strayed from my vows of marriage. Now that we can talk about ANYTHING without judgment or emotion, we have created a new and stronger bond than ever before.

There is no “end” to this story. There is only a new day, every day that we can crawl into bed, whisper something really naughty, break out the new toy or new chapter in the Kama Sutra, and bang each others brains out.

When all else fails in a marriage, try vigorous, passionate, off the chart sex. Couples who have a sexually charged, intimate relationship rarely divorce.

For more ideas on how to create a smokin’ hot MILF for your wife, check out my ebook at www.makeyourwifehot.com. The title is chauvinistic, but the content was written by my wife and me. We both know the benefits of her sex appeal. She feels better about herself and I love…absolutely LOVE having my mistress, my girlfriend and my wife all be one and the same.


Role Play = Great Foreplay

Doug

After many years of marriage, many people slip into a dull, unfulfilled, and routine marriage. If you or your wife is shy, this “role play” idea will take some getting used to. If you are completely clueless, watch the opening scenes from “4 Christmases” with Vince Vaughn. He and his girlfriend (Reese Witherspoon) do an excellent “role play” where she gets picked up at the bar from a “stranger” (her boyfriend of many years). Even though they haven’t been married, because both sets of parents are divorced, they know that they have to keep things fresh to keep their love alive!

Even if you are not an actor, it pays to role play every once in a while. Who knows? You may actually get into it. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, after all. You are already married! She’s seen you scratch yourself and fart at the dinner table, what could be worse? Are you dressing up like a cowboy, ready to herd some cattle? Hardly.

Before you go crazy, it may be best to start with something innocent, light-hearted and easy.  After you experiment with some cute and silly things, I recommend upgrading to having a full blown affair…with your wife! There is nothing as exciting as having sex with a forbidden lover. Sure, you can start with the blindfold and the costumes. Here are a few ideas for beginners:

  • Pretend you are teenagers and your parents are about to come home…quickie time!
  • Imagine you are the pool boy and speak no English. Have you wife SLOWLY seduce you
  • Become the opposite of your personality (Bad boys be nice!)
  • Have you wife play hard to get at the bar. For added thrills, have her toss a drink in your face
  • Pretend you are a judge at a beauty contest and you need to speak to her alone…
  • Let her be the boss at your “job”. Have her forcibly have sex with you in your home office
  • Be a service technician and surprise her in the shower (no plumber’s crack please)
  • Have her be a stripper for you. Offer her some $$$ for extras and make sure she refuses for a while
  • Let her be a foreign exchange student asking for directions
  • (Here’s a classic) Be her gynecologist and tell her you are retiring today!
  • Get in a huge fight over nothing. Threaten to leave her, reconcile and have great make up sex

You get the idea. It may be too much for some folks to wear costumes right away. However, taking on simple personalities or persona’s can be fun, embarrassing (who cares?) and definitely titillating once you get the hang of it. The more punch you can put into your roles, the more exciting it will be for the two of you.

“Yeah, right!” You might say, “Maybe YOUR wife can be easily pursaded to dress up like a school girl or playboy bunny, but my wife would laugh first or worse, ignore such a ridiculous suggestion.” Well chump, I am here to tell you that MY wife was one of the most conservative and shy women you will ever meet years ago. Her transformation to a sexually charged borderline nympho took time, patience a huge amount of influence and persuasion.

Most men attack the sex topic like a warrior. This is NOT the time to use your masculine tendencies. When working on influencing and persuading your wife to open up, experiment and “try” new things, your guiding force will be your confidence, playfulness, charm and psychological superiority.

That’s right…psychological superiority. I am not talking about hypnosis or any of that garbage. However, anticipating reactions and moving in advance of her predictable response is child’s play once you know the rules and how to bend them. One of the most POWERFUL books you can read on persuasion when it comes to women and sex is “How to Be an Expert Persuader.”

I highly recommend it. Click Here!

Don’t forget to ratchet up the game with some infidelity with a stranger, lover, or foreign dignitary. (No celebrities or co-workers, please) If you can re-create the thrill of an affair you will guarantee “off the chart” sex that you can dial up as easy as a call girl!

For great ideas on getting you and you wife to have BETTER sex, connection and intimacy than ever before, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com. Your fantasies CAN become realities. It takes patience, consistency and a dash of creativity, but you CAN HAVE IT ALL! get a copy of this book and increase your wife’s sex drive naturally and consistently. You’ve tried everything else, now it is time to be the prince charming she desires and get her to be the vixen you crave.covered02