Your Wife Doesn’t Want You


Oh sure, she says, “I love you.” In fact, she even packs your lunch every day. The list of ways she SHOWS you she loves you is actually endless. Her attention to the kids, her support of your stressful job and her words all affirm a woman who is devoted and loving.

She just doesn’t want to bang you.

The good news is that it’s your fault, buster!

You see, marriages and women are not boring as a category. PEOPLE become boring and don’t solve their issues properly. Left to themselves, things have a tendency to go from bad to worse. When something is making you unhappy, for example — for any reason — the situation will tend to get worse rather than better.

So avoid the temptation to engage in denial, to pretend that relationship is “adequate”, to hope and pray that, next month, she’ll be less stressed and your sex life will improve. Because it won’t. Ultimately, you will have to face the situation and do something about it.

Start today.

There’s an old saying that you can’t solve a problem on the level where you meet it — in other words, that wrestling with a challenge is usually fruitless and frustrating. If the two of you who are constantly fighting (or worse…ignoring the absence of passion) and can’t seem to move to the next level, you are attempting to solve their problems on the wrong level.

Dealing with their problems on a higher level, you should ask the question, “In terms of being happy, is this the right relationship for us in the first place?” This is a scary question to ask a woman because her #1 need is for security. But if you are brave enough to ask it in the first place, you are starting with a clean slate.

Ask the question of yourself first, her second. When you ask it, don’t answer it immediately. Be sure to reflect upon your core needs. What do you want? What do you expect? When you have those answers, before you give her your list, you better ask her for HER list! You can’t expect to get if you don’t give first.

You may discover that she doesn’t ‘want’ you because you aren’t giving her a reason to.

By becoming the prince charming she truly desires, you will open her up emotionally and physically to desiring you sexually.

Think, reflect, improve.

For more details on becoming the husband, friend and lover of HER dreams, read my book, “Make Your Wife Hot.” You’ll discover that creating a trophy wife that is a sex-crazed lover is easier than you think. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married or how overweight she may be. She WANTS to be your sexual playmate. It is up to you to guide her.

Choose Your Pain: Stay Married or Get Divorced


I was not in love with her anymore…I sat in the car, with the rain streaming down my windshield feeling utterly hopeless. My life, family, passion, legacy, friends…it was all at a crossroads. It looked as though either road was going to be filled with pain and suffering…great.

That event happened over 3 years ago and sometimes, when we still disagree, I have a flash of “Did I make the right choice to stick this out?” Divorce would have been easier, I tell myself. Sure, the pain would be throbbing in our heads. But, all pain is temporary, Doug. Eventually, you two could move ON with your life and start fresh. Millions of people do it. Why not join the ranks, find your true self and get on with it…

Ahhh…the children…Yes, we have 3 incredible children. How can you “abandon” them? I can’t. I won’t. I didn’t.

Families going through these issues need to do just that…go THROUGH them. After countless counseling sessions, my wife and I both realized several things that we must reinforce in our lives every day.

1. No one person can meet all of our needs. Expecting your spouse to be EVERYTHING to you isn’t normal.

2. It is OK to share thoughts, feelings, and ideas without expecting a response or personifying it. If I feel a certain way, it does NOT mean that you caused it or are to blame. Those are my feelings and issues; I must take charge of them.

3. The pain and suffering of sticking it out in a “hopeless” marriage isn’t easy. I do believe it is easier to get divorced. But, I also don’t believe any situation is hopeless. Like Captain Kirk so proudly states, “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.” There is a solution to your marital pain that can create a renewal of self AND us. Being strong individuals FIRST is so important if there is to ever be a marriage again.

4. Take stock in who you are, what you want, and clearly lay it out to yourself first, then to your spouse. Find points and areas where you agree and compliment each other. On the areas where you do not agree, simply acknowledge that BOTH of you have those and it is NORMAL to have them.

There is a whole lot more to discuss on this topic and your comments are welcome. Staying together for the children is a great place to start, but it shouldn’t end there. Rekindling a marriage can be fun if you take the attitude you had when you dated. We used a system called “Light Your Fire” and it worked VERY well. I borrowed many of these concepts in integrated them into my book, “Make Your Wife Hot” which may be a chauvinistic title, but has great emotional content that ladies can use as well.

Part 1 of a 3 part series….stay tuned

Odd Jobs=Blow Jobs


As a man, it pains me to admit it, but we are really stupid!

If we realize how EASY it is to impress our wives, we can get all the sex we want. Most of us suffer from waiting to be asked (usually more than once) to clean out the gutters, pick up our underwear, or fix the broken door handle. We have plenty of excuses not to, of course. We work hard, need a break, the game is on right now, or I will get to it later, are all reasonable and popular excuses for not getting things done promptly (or at all). I am as guilty of this as the next guy….until now.

You see, when I take even 10 minutes and totally ignore what I want and focus 100% on what she wants, I am seen as a hero. This weekend, when there was plenty of outdoor work to be done AND I had to finish a bunch of reports for work. I elected to get outside and not only do the odd jobs she requested, but 3 or 4 extra ones she had NOT requested. The old adage of “Under-promising and Over-delivering” is used in business all the time. It can also apply to your marriage!

Even taking 10 extra minutes per day and doing that extra odd job can deliver dividends well past the 10 minutes you invested! If you don’t have any odd jobs around the house, why not get her some flowers “just because.” You can wash her car, fix her lunch, vaccum the house, or schedule a facial for her. Doing small things for no particular reason will most likely shock her. But, if you play your cards right and to the proper set up and delivery as outlined in my book, you can expect to be treated like a king!

Go ahead and impress her. It doesn’t take a whole lot of time and rarely costs you any money. By being her knight in shining armor or her handyman extrordinaire, you will be building up an emotional bank account that will allow you to withraw dividends (sexual or otherwise) for months to come.

For more tips, tricks, and a step by step method to making your wife HOT, visit my website at