Older Man Younger Woman Relationship

Doug

C’mon guys, if you are in the midlife zone, you know you have thoughts of younger women. There is no shame in knowing what you want and being upfront about it.

We are men and we are visual, predatory creatures. Yes?

Just don’t let nature make you look ridiculous.

I am reminded of a joke from Dave Barry’s book, Dave Barry Turns 40.

“Does that mean, as an aging person, you’re no longer capable of feeling lust that you felt as an 18 year old? “Not at all. You’re attracted just as strongly as ever were to 18 year olds! The problem is that everybody your own age seems repulsive.”

Sociology be damned! Man has created so many social rules that trying to figure out where God, the church, evolution, monogamy, love, lust and propagating the species all fit together is maddening.

Let’s focus on one issue at a time. Maybe by the year 2035 it will all come together, just in time for my application to a nursing home.

Age differential is currently an up and coming topic. With Courtney Cox debuting with Cougar Town and Mel Gibson’s divorce and remarriage to a girl ½ his age, it seems as though age differential is becoming more popular.

In fact, for MOST of human history, older men always coveted and wed younger women. The concept of having a woman your own age was actually less popular then, than it is today. Why is it more acceptable for older men to be with younger women? By younger, I am referring to guys in their 50’s and 60’s with women in their 30’s. “Daddy” syndrome is not to be confused with “Grandpa” syndrome. If a guy has a girl that looks like she could be her daughter, it catches our attention. If she looks like she could be his granddaughter, its disgusting.

There are two sides to this coin, of course; a woman’s perspective and a man’s.

Let’s begin with women.

If a woman is unappealing, a man does not necessarily want to breed with her. Attractive women guarantee the continuation of our species. There…lesson over.

Don’t send me emails talking about how insensitive I am or how hot women with big boobs are superficial. Leave your master’s degree at home, put on some heels and a short skirt and free yourself, ladies! Just because you are hot does not equate to being ignorant!

The most attractive woman is a CONFIDENT woman who knows what she wants, is smart, witty, sexy and fun. Isn’t that what YOU want in a man?

The difference is in the game of reproduction, a species, courting, displays of attraction and mating are always primary to act of reproduction. You can’t get to ‘know’ someone if you don’t see them first. Men are visual creatures. A woman who has large breasts signifies that she is able to bear children (See how ignorant WE are? Our libidos aren’t hip to plastic surgery!). Men, like most drones, are built for providing the necessary seed to reproduce. Women are given all the nurturing tools (breasts and a heart) in order to raise offspring properly. Our roles as men have always been simple, clear and short-lived.

Men have an advantage in this arena.

Men can be physically attractive and that quality guarantees good genes to be passed down to the offspring. However, since women crave security as much or MORE than producing healthy children, a modern man who is older but more secure gives the same benefit (Bonus if he is attractive).rich guy young woman

If he is unattractive, the woman is labeled a gold digger and the man is labeled “rich.”

Women are starting to confidently enter this arena (Ashton and Demi, for example) but it is not the same thing. You don’t see Judi Dench with a young, hot guy. Older woman/younger man scenarios may be more common place today, but the women are nearly always attractive. It is a double-standard.

Hey, I didn’t make the rules, but I understand them.

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I found this ad today…the imagery caused me to post this blog. Look carefully. Who is the senior in this picture? If you are a senior citizen, what do YOU see?


Cougar Seduction of a Bartender

Doug

Years ago, I had a fetish for older women. The term “cougar” had not yet been invented and publicly dating a woman 15-20 years older wasn’t very socially acceptable. (Thank Demi Moore for changing that!) The following true story helped to shape my foundation not just for being more sexually creative, but learning and applying the lost art of true seduction, romance and passion in relationships.

Many years ago I was a bartender near Northern Chicago. Being 26, fit, funny and full of life was, at the time, the pinnacle of my energy, vitality and perhaps-charm. I was nice to everyone and always flirted with the ladies. It didn’t matter to me whether they were young, old, plain or pretty. I knew that the more I focused on them, the better my tips were. Besides, some of them were pretty hot.

Mixing alcohol, mid-20’s testosterone and women in their 40’s who haven’t had any affection, love or passion in years can be a very ‘dangerous’ combination. It wasn’t until later that I realized I had a fetish for women who were 15-20 years older than me. I am not sure if it was watching “The Graduate” too many times or just a boyhood fantasy about a particular teacher, but the fantasy was about to become reality.

I was working the bar one night and a couple of ladies walked in and sat down. I don’t remember if they had come in there before, but after an hour or so, the big-chested one was locking on my gaze and we had connected on some kind of spiritual or chemical level. You know what I mean. We were attracted to the words, phrases and energy that we both gave off. Her friend was trying to keep her in check, but as they were about to leave, she slipped me a piece of paper and they both stumbled out of the bar; her friend and her giggling as they left.

This wasn’t the first time a woman had given me her number, but it was the first time I had gotten one WITHOUT asking and from a totally hot “cougar” who was a fellow free spirit like me.

I called her.

Our first date was typical dinner and conversation and when we went back to her place, our make out session was steamy, passionate and I wanted more. She was raised in the 50’s and I was raised in the 70’s and that combination created a “not on the first night” response from her. I instantly agreed for a few reasons.

  1. I never force or try to influence a woman about sex (especially on a first date)
  2. It wasn’t going to be a one night stand. That meant more than one future encounter.

As a young man of 26 I wasn’t a virgin in the clinical sense. I had sex one time in high school (just to say I wasn’t a virgin) and had over a dozen girlfriends in college and had relations with most, but not all of them. I was still young, a bit inexperienced, but very open minded. I had never had a woman put on a French Maid’s outfit, explain tantric sex to me, or have permanently installed mirrors over a bed before. This stuff was completely unknown to me…until I started seeing Janice.

My affair with Janice (not her real name) lasted for 6 glorious months. She was the first women I truly loved and she showed me things and moves that I had never heard of before or since. Her passion and insatiable appetite for romance and raw sex was incredible. We were both very much free spirits and took our lives one day at a time. We didn’t really “date” in the traditional sense. Her friends and my friends didn’t have anything in common which eliminated the possibility of double dates. She knew I loved children and wanted my own some day. We both knew this wasn’t going to be forever, but we both also knew we were made for each other…for a time.

The age difference didn’t bother free spirits like us. While we couldn’t do much of the group couple thing, we did go out nearly every week. When we went to the show, dinner, or to a club, however, we never caught a glimpse of anyone staring at us. We were too busy being into each other.

Coincidentally, when I did meet her friends, I was always introduced as “just a friend” and this never bothered me, except the day that one of her friends suggested setting me up with her daughter! (A REAL “Mrs. Robinson” adventure!) Her daughter of 19 was gorgeous, but that innocent sweetness also came with inexperience, baggage and a immaturity that was never appealing to me.

Janice was the first woman I slept with who was a ‘squirter’. At first, I was shocked by this jettison of fluid from her vagina during an orgasm. After she explained it to me, I looked forward to making her cum and relished in her delight and euphoria.

Those mirrors on the ceiling were out of this world…yum.

She was also the first woman I was with who had a DD breast job. These are as popular as Starbucks today, but back in 1986 in the conservative Midwest, they weren’t as popular.

Janice taught me about seduction, REAL foreplay and the delicate dance of sex. She was a dance instructor with beautifully long legs. She was extremely limber and could move like there was no tomorrow. Translating the “dancing” of sexual foreplay and intercourse is a lost art. Janice showed me who was “leading” and what it meant to anticipate a partner’s move without missing a beat. If there is reincarnation, she was the top courtesan of a king.

She was perfect.

Her perfection was not limited by her stunning good looks. At 5’ 6” tall, 115 lbs. and a DD breast job, her figure was a perfect fit for me. Her athletic, toned body trained from 30+ years of dancing resembled or exceeded any of the 20-somethings I had been with.

Her perfection was more than that. Her spirit, energy, and 100% openness towards sex was what transformed my “average” sexual experience and appetite into a seduction master and lover of all things beautiful.

I will never forget her, of course. But it is more than that; I honor her every day as I make my wife my sex-crazed, hot wife and private concubine.

Thanks, Janice.

Doug Steponin
www.makeyourwifehot.com