Sex During Pregnancy? YES!

Doug

sex-during-pregnancy1If you are planning a pregnancy, you’ve probably found an abundance of information about sex and how to get pregnant. But what about sex during those 9 months after conception? Your wife’s gained weight, she looks fat and perhaps a bit unattractive?

HOGWASH! My wife was extremely attractive when she was pregnant. That maternal glow and enlarged breasts were total turn on’s for me.

Like many parents-to-be, you may have questions about the safety of sex, when, how often and what’s normal for most couples.

Well, what’s normal tends to vary widely, but you can count on the fact that there will be changes in your sex life. Some of these changes may be uncomfortable, but I can show you how to make sex during pregnancy fun, interesting, enjoyable and memorable! Open communication will be the key to a satisfying and safe sexual relationship during pregnancy. The more you talk openly and honestly about what you are feeling and your mutual expectations, the better your relationship will become. The bottom line for nearly everyone is…

Sex During Pregnancy Is GREAT!

Decreased pressure from bloating
As you may or may not know, the bloating and discomfort a woman feels during a menstratal cycle CAN be alleviated with sex. It is very similar to when a woman is pregnant and there are many reasons some women don’t have sex during this time. The list includes:

  • Not feeling sexy…AT ALL!
  • Feeling very uncomfortable, bloated and not in the mood
  • The blood during sex is pretty yucky
  • My partner doesn’t find me attractive or appealing
  • I am used to having oral and that is a definite no-no during my cycle

The reasons are endless…

But, they all share a common thread of misconception. The primary misconception being that the “feelings” you or your partner share are locked in place and will never change. A woman’s feelings of being unappealing can change with a single thought. Sure, she may not look sexy, but you can certainly create some very exciting and romantic thoughts in your head. Try it! Right now.

Think about the most ROMANTIC and SEXUALLY EXCITING evening of your life. Go back to the special words, smells, sounds and activities that made it special. Remember the euphoria and joy you felt during that evening. Recall every single nuance, aroma, and word that was spoken. Recall specific things that touched every sense you have.

You see, your mind is a wonderful tool that YOU control. Just like recalling pleasant thoughts can change your mood, you can “order up” whatever feeling you like simply by triggering the thoughts in your mind.

When you think about your pregnant wife, that image may not be sexy or attractive. SO WHAT! You now have a specific tool you can use to change your feelings. By replacing the current image of a big belly with the “feelings” of a romantic, sexually-charged evening, you trick the mind into a state of desire.  Using this trigger you can create new thoughts which trigger new feelings.

Transferring that “Sexy” feeling to your wife
Great. Now you know how to use your mind like she uses her favorite vibrator. Simply plug it in and turn it on. Your thoughts are YOURS to control. What about hers?

What if she does NOT find herself sexy, appealing or desirable? What can you do to change her mind about sex? More importantly, what if HER thoughts, mood or action influence yours? Does getting yourself all worked up with no pay off frustrate you? It sure can!

For more tips on creating a sexually-charged, passionate relationship, read my book How to Make Your Wife Hot!

Below are 4 steps to change the direction and passion in your relationship during pregnancy. It is important to stay in control, have patience and a bright, playful attitude. The better you are at being affectionate, playful and flexible, the better.

  1. Establish The Goal. Your first goal is NOT to have sex. Your primary goal during this exercise is to be able to change each others moods, misconceptions, behaviors and attitudes about sex during pregnancy. Your goal is to go from point A to point B.  Point C will happen with time and patience. (C for coitus) Don’t force the sex thing….yet. Your goal is to set a foundation for open communication.
  2. Have an Open Discussion About Feelings. Guys hate this stuff, so read some articles from Cosmopolitan and suck it up. Do NOT talk about these topics in a romantic setting and definitely not in the bedroom. Bring up the issue of sex, romance, etc. at the kitchen table or family room. You may even reference a friend, celebrity, or other figure when it comes to the topic. The point is to practice talking about a private, personal issue in a non-judgmental fashion. If you need practice, try talking about politics or some issue first. When you talk about a topic in the third person, you don’t personify it and you don’t make the other person feel responsible or guilty.
  3. Discuss Your Mutual Needs. Once you are able to get her to talk about this stuff openly, you can bring up your personal needs in a non-judgmental fashion. Don’t spend too much time on your needs. You are going to be a 2nd class citizen as soon as that kid is born, so get used to focusing on HER needs first and foremost. You’ll get yours later.
  4. Compliment Her Sincerely. The more you show and tell your affection, the better. Women respond to our moods, words, and visual cues. The more you can combine all of these in a consistent manner the better. Tell her she is beautiful. Show her that you love her. Let her know your attitude is one of patience and adoration. Put her on a pedestal and honor her.

The more you relax and focus on her (possibly erratic) state of mind, attitude and comfort, the more likely you will be able to keep your sex life active. The key words to remember are honor, patience and focus. She is carrying the physical manifestation of your love. WOW! Let her know how incredible that is!

For more ideas on getting MORE sex in your marriage, creating a smokin’ hot wife and increasing the passion in your life, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com today!