Don’t Grow Apart…Grow Together

Doug

There are as many reasons for divorce, as there are married couples!  However, you might be surprised to learn that one of the most common reasons for divorce is nothing as dramatic as spousal abuse, or drinking or drug addiction.

Many couples just grow apart.  This issue is very common in couples that marry young, and it is easy to understand.  At age eighteen or twenty, a blushing bride or proud groom has barely come adulthood, and is certainly not mature.

Interests and direction are still evolving.  And, when that evolution begins to slow and the couple find themselves in their thirties or forties, they may suddenly discover that they have grown apart.

Though many young couples think that romance will keep them together forever, a solid relationship – one that will last for thirty, forty or fifty years of married life – is based on friendship, common interests and the ability to adapt and grow WITH the inevitable changes that will happen.

If you find yourself in your forties with nothing in common with your spouse, you may feel like strangers.  You may start to become annoyed at the littlest of habits. Perhaps you’ve run out of things to talk about – other than your children – or you find yourself alone on a Saturday afternoon, trying to remember what to say. You may be bored.

This is not to suggest that you must buy a rifle and get to a practice range if your husband is an avid hunter.  Nor should a husband take up gourmet cooking if that is his wife’s hobby.  Though, some really dedicated husbands and wives HAVE taken on the challenge of jumping in with both feet! It is certainly worth a try and there is no damage by giving it a shot.

If you want to give that a try, more power to you!  Just be sure that it doesn’t backfire.  If you decide to acquire a new interest or skill just to please your spouse, be sure you are really committed to this idea or you will end up resenting your spouse for the time and effort you invest. If you take up a similar interest and you find yourself not enjoying, take the non-judgmental approach and admit that is just isn’t for you.

And try not to waste the investment by simply abandoning the activity.  Your spouse will be very happy to know you have taken an interest but, if you drop out without a reason, it will look as though you really didn’t care all that much! I really enjoyed the book from Amy Waterman, “Save My Marriage Today.” In this book she can teach any marriage how to interact in a constructive manner and actually save the “un-saveable” relationship.

In her book you will learn:

  • How to get your spouse to change their attitude. (I’ve seen the methods employed in this chapter alone help turn around dozens of marriages)
  • Discover the REAL REASON why marriages fail; and what to do about it…
  • A simple but powerful psychological trick that will help you to put your mind in a place of happiness and relaxation. Coming from this position will make it a LOT easier to save your marriage.
  • The single most important thing that you MUST do in order for love to return to your relationship. You’re probably overlooking it – most people do – but it is easy to remedy and will make all the difference in the world towards bringing the love back into your marriage.
  • Discover the truth about trial separations. How to make them work if it is forced upon you and mistakes that most people make that cause them to NOT work.

Visualize a New Future: It’s a year from today (or a lot sooner), and your marriage is so solid and strong that all your friends are remarking how happy you and your partner seem to be. You’ve recovered from the stress you went through last year due to your marriage issues, and you are in a much happier place than you are now. Even better, you know that it would take wild horses to tear you and your spouse apart now.

Today that may sound impossible, but the saying, “It’s cheaper to keep her” wasn’t just talking about finances. The emotional turmoil you avoid is priceless. Click on this link and check out Amy’s book today.


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