I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You

Doug

HA! Who’s not heard that phrase before?

If you’ve been married for more than a few years the odds are pretty good that you’ve either said it, had your spouse say it to you or one of you has thought it without saying it!

What do you DO with information like this? What can you do? What SHOULD you do? It doesn’t matter if you are saying it or hearing it, you cannot go on like this. Time to take some action, champ!

If you are the one who’s saying it; here’s some advice.

Love has several incarnations and even phases in life. The first form of love is those butterflies in your stomach (or bulge in your pants) that make you crazy. You may lose focus on other things, you are giddy, and you basically can’t keep your hands off of each other. “Puppy love” and newlyweds are only separated by age and experience. The feeling of love is intoxicating.

This single characteristic of love, by its very nature, changes over time.

This is not to say that you cannot resurrect those butterflies after 20 years of marriage-you can. However, when it was an effortless act when you first dated, it takes some purposeful thought and habits to keep the love alive.

When someone says, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” your mission is to NOT take it personally. The worst thing you can do is to blame you, your spouse or the economy. The proper response is not to blame, but to take this opportunity to INCREASE your communication, intimacy and chemistry with one another.

Creating feelings of euphoria, excitement and lust are feelings that CAN be created with 1/2 cup of psychology,  2 teaspoons of empathy, a cup of creativity, and a dash of courage.

1. Psychology: Understanding love and “in love” and developing a plan to bring those two ideas together is step one. I will be spending over 1/2 of the time at our Sex Workshop pulling those concepts together in order to increase the quantity and intensity of a couples sexual time together.  I guarantee the day or two you invest in Las Vegas will be worth 100X the investment. Our last workshop was a TOTALLY HOT success. We’ll do another one early in 2010.

2. Empathy: While empathy is an emotion normally reserved for grieving people, I use it here as a specific tool to create or restore a connection between two people. The more you empathize with your spouse, the more you manifest some very important qualities. You open up YOUR heart to his/her desires, pains, frustrations and needs. When you open up to another person-Shazam! They do the same for you! It must be sincere and you must listen more than you talk. That is empathy. It can bring you closer together emotionally and can translate into more intimacy and sex.

3. Creativity: Let’s face it, just because you KNOW how to make her cum, doesn’t mean you need to use that SAME technique the rest of her life! All human beings crave new experiences and discovery. The journey can be just as exciting as the destination (Sometimes MORE exciting!) so get out the porno, velvet handcuffs and play. You may create a few embarrassing moments with your experimentation; so what! You’ve been married for a while, you’ve seen each other naked for years. What’s wrong with spilling the chocolate sauce on her navel, only to realize in the dim lights that it is salsa? Get out the chips and have a party!

4. Courage: Naturally, when a couple has hit a crossroad and realizes their sex live, love and relationship is sliding down, ignoring it won’t make it better. Having the courage to talk-really talk about it and the courage to TRY different things is the main quality you need.

It may hurt to experiment with the dominatrix kit you got for Valentines Day, but it never hurts to talk about your relationship as long as you are open, honest and don’t take any of your spouse’s thoughts personally. Remember, if you aren’t happy, chances are neither is your spouse. You both have some changes to make if you want to be in love again.

Get started NOW! Order my book on creating a hot wife, restoring the intimacy you once had and having the most incredible sex life imaginable!


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