How Can I Save My Marriage?

Doug

Saving a marriage begins with your attitude. After you DECIDE to work on it, you have to keep your attitude in the right space. After your decision has been made, give yourself time to learn how to be a couple again. You may have a few uncomfortable moments, but the journey can also be enjoyable. Below are a few thoughts and ideas:

  1. If you don’t want to take on something that interests your spouse, and jump in with both feet, you can still ‘share’ your thoughts and let them know you noticed what is important to them.
  2. For example, clip an article out of the paper on your husband’s favorite football team, or record a TV appearance by your wife’s favorite actor.  Better yet, read a newspaper article about something that interests your spouse and talk to them about it over dinner.  Ask them questions about what you read and what they know about the topic and watch their face light up.
  3. Listen to your spouse talk about their favorite subject or hobby and, instead of shutting them down, try to hear ‘clues’ in what they say about what makes them interested in the subject.
  4. Talk to them about what YOU find interesting in the subject.  For example, if your husband belongs to a book club and he always talks about the books he is reading, ask him about his favorite authors or what kinds of books he likes best – mystery, suspense, sci-fi.
  5. If you can’t share the interest, at least show your spouse that you respect and honor it.  Register your gourmet cook spouse in a local session with a famous chef or find a website or a recipe you think will interest them.
  6. A particularly effective and favorite way to develop a common interest is to look at what interests the both of you now.  Then try to find a common area or a ‘type’ of activity you both like.
  7. An example might be if both of you like sports, but you don’t have a sport in common.
  8. Perhaps you bowl and you work out at the gym, and your wife runs.  So, you are both in good physical condition and you both like to be active.  Maybe you’d like to take a sailing course together.
  9. Eventually, you might even buy a boat if you both like the activity.   But, for right now, start small.
  10. 10. If you both like music and there is one kind that you both like, buy tickets to a concert and go see the artist. Don’t wait, don’t talk about it. Just do  it.
  11. 11. Or, plan a day in the city to go to a museum that has exhibits you may both like.  Your spouse will gladly walk through the exhibit he does not like, to get to the one he DOES like and you’ll get to time to talk to each other as you wander around.

If his/her interests don’t align with yours, try doing something NEW together that neither of you has tried or experienced before. If you are bored, that means YOU are boring! Take the next boring or peaceful moment and get out of the house. Go somewhere or try a new activity that you wouldn’t ordinarily even think about.

Along the way, you will rediscover the things you love about each other and the things you already have in common.  And together you might just develop some new interests!  Remember, action creates results (negative or positive) and inaction breeds nothing except the reminder of your discontent. If you want to change your situation, change your actions!

My wife was a dull, slightly depressed mom to our children for years. As I entered midlife, I craved MORE action, adventure and excitement. I wanted a hot wife I could party with! At first she thought it was ridiculous, but eventually she not only embraced a full lifestyle, but has lead us to crazy nights, passionate sex and naughty activities that have created great memories for us to share over and over again. For some ideas on THAT click on http://www.makeyourwifehot.com.


5 Things Men Want More Than SEX

Doug

kissing_is_good_1I recently asked a friend of mine what men want in a relationship and she point blank told me, “That’s the easiest question ever,” she said. “Men just want sex!”

While her response was obvious, my response to her was not.

In studying and writing about relationships, sexuality and marriage for years, my husband and I have distilled the whole ‘love and relationship’ game to some basic communication fundamentals. Our blog sheds some light on communication basics and advanced strategies to create a passionate romance regardless of how long you’ve been together.

Would you be surprised if I told you sex isn’t even in the top 5 things men really want from their partner? Sure, they are visual and seem quite myopic in their hunger for sex. But, sex and the pleasure it provides isn’t the final emotional feeling that men want from their girlfriends and wives, in the end, it’s five other often overlooked and under-appreciated things that men crave, desire, want, and need to make their relationship the envy of their peers. Each of these five things can *lead* to great sex, but none require it. Curious? Read on…

Women, when your man feels at his best, he will seek out every opportunity to spend more time with you and to satisfy your needs. So, it’s in your best interest to give him what he wants (and it’s easier than you would ever believe), so you’ll get more of what you want. See how it works?

1.  Men Want To Be Adored

In every man, there is a little boy (Remember what a baby he is when he is sick?). A man’s ego is fragile. Before the industrial revolution, the man with the most amount of wealth (we’ll leave out the “big harem” example) was the strongest warrior and/or the most successful hunter. Ever since he’s traded in his spear for a pda, men have defined their masculinity through sports and/or financial success. The more you give him SPECIFIC accolades about his success, the clearer your message of love and respect will be towards him. Tell him why you love him so much, often and clearly. Let him know that he is important to you. Just as you may be his Princess, your man wants to know he’s your Prince.

2.  Men Want To Be Consulted

There is no need to pretend you’re stupid, but when you find something your man is knowledgeable or passionate about, let him take the stage. When you show a sincere interest in his knowledge base, the more you subtly stroke his ego. Again, don’t be sarcastic or placating. The more you take a sincere interest in his work and hobbies, the stronger your connection will become. Ask his opinion and let him feel he’s an active part of your decisions and choices.

3.  Men Want To Be Trusted

Many of us have been hurt or lied to, but if your man isn’t the one who hurt you, trust him. After we are hurt, we tend to keep our guard up. “Guilty until proven innocent” is a popular attitude after one is hurt. Trust must be earned after a person has lied, of course. But “innocent until proven guilty” can go a long way to building more of a connection that can lead to a two-way street of trust. Go out of your way to give him no reason to doubt you and your own trustworthiness. Let him know you feel safe and secure with him.

4.  Men Want To Feel Sexy

Of course it is time to stroke his…uhmm….ego, but men like to feel sexy, handsome or fit just as much as women do. You will get SO much mileage out of a few “Do you know how sexy you are to me?” or “You look hot in that!” comments. Keep the compliments sincere and specific. Don’t praise his beer gut and say, “More to love!” Like you, he knows what areas he has to work on. However, the more you point out his strong points, the more he will work on correcting his weaknesses as well. Additionally, he will start appreciating and complimenting you more too!

5.  Men Want You To Be Their Friend

Many men don’t have the traditional social outlets that women do to discuss their emotions, dreams, and fears. By being his friend first, without judging, you allow him to open up. Interestingly, men RARELY open up to other men. They are taught at an early age NOT to shed a tear which results in them not sharing their feelings in general. Coincidentally, most affairs are born from this. A man may have a difficult time sharing his deep troubles with his wife, but can with his secretary. OOPS! Be sure you set up a “safe zone” of conversation which allows him to be vulnerable and open. Letting him know that this “safe zone” (Both verbally and geographically) in NO WAY diminishes your opinion of his manliness in all other areas.

The love of a woman can make or break a man. The woman who criticizes her man creates what she despises. The woman who encourages her man and gives him what he truly wants creates what she inspires. Give your man what he wants and your life, your relationship, and your love will get better with every passing day. You will experience more loving, more caressing and more attention from your man than you ever imagined possible!

For more strategies and ideas on creating a sexually-charged romance with you wife, read my husband’s book makeyourwifehot.com and get YOUR wife to be as hot as me!

-Chris Steponin


Porno: Chicken Soup for the Lustful Marriage

Doug

I remember the first time my wife and I watched porno together…yeah…it was a riot! We couldn’t help but laugh at the incredibly complex dialogue in the film. “Do me…yeah..harder” We didn’t expect Oscar material, of course. However, we did expect some kind of foreplay/build up that would make the actual scenes somewhat interesting….HA!

It is interesting to note that the advent of the Internet and amateur porn has done a real service to adding the spice to relationships. Initially, we saw amateur porn as a dilution and slippery slope (pardon the pun) towards lower quality visual stimulation. We took a break for a few years and didn’t watch much at all. The stuff that was out there was simply more of the same…oooh….ahhhh…yeah…..just not very creative or interesting. We focused on some very high level psychological triggers and endorphin rushes that gave both our orgasms HUGE increases in power that I clearly describe in my book.

Last night we were surfing some sites together and found a few stimulating and interesting sites that caused our hearts to flutter and our libidos to be aroused.

Security camera footage.

Now, I know that many of these “scenes” were probably set ups, but the really interesting ones may have been actual security cameras that actually caught co-workers on tape…what a hoot! These scenes gave us just the right mix of laughter and voyeurism that made us excited and curious to see if they were going to get caught. You see. the excitement of getting caught can heighten sexual stimulation.

Perhaps you remember what it was like to mess around in High School downstairs while your parents were upstairs. Or remember the time you were at the drive-in theatre and a light flashed in your car? Any situation that involves a bit of danger naturally hightens our defensive response of fight of flight. This added amount of adrenaline obviously can make sex VERY satisfying and more thrilling than your run of the mill missionary bedroom flavor encounter.

So next time you need some extra juice to put in your MILF’s love tank, get out a porno movie, or google sites that have sexy hidden camera moments…it may give you a rush or at least give you some education on where to look for cameras, before you bend your wife over in the copier room.

For more ideas on making your marriage extra exciting, creating a smokin’ hot sex-machine for a wife, visit http://makeyourwifehot.com.  Your sex life is about to go into overdrive.


Sexy Weather Thunderstorms Inside & Outside!

Doug

Guys, there are scientific AND romantic reasons you can have BETTER sex whenever you want! A thunderstorm just blew through our area and my wife and I opened up the patio doors, let the air in (and a little rain) and simply banged our brains out!

I am over 40 (so is she) and we are having more sex than most newlywed 20-something year olds. We didn’t always have this passion, but after we almost divorced, we took a few simple, well thought out, and specific steps to increase our sex, passion, and lust for each other. For details, click here.

The thunderstorm did a few things:

1. The ionization of the atmosphere makes the air fresh, clean, and crisp. Not that the smell of sex is bad, its just that we all know how clear the air is after a thunderstorm. It revitalizes your senses and heightens your pleasure!

2. The lightning, thunder and rain showers all add additional atmosphere to our session. We even adjusted our rythmn to the thunderclaps! (sort of like movin’ to the sound of music only different) When we saw the lightning, we added and extra push and tried to time it to the 3-5 second delay of the thunder…pretty funny, really.

3. Romance…ah after the storms passed and we were left with the gentle rain shower, our lovemaking became more gentle and soft. I slowed down considerably and we focused on each and every nerve ending in our body. By focusing on each other our rythmn became totally in sync and we climaxed easily together.

The bottom line is, while most people are running around rolling up their windows and checking the gutters, we took advantage of the malestrom and used the power of the weather to support and encourge the power of our sexual appetite. Go for it! For more tips, ideas, commentary visit www.makeyourwifehot.com today!