Yup…words can make you hard, guys.

The same is true for your woman. So often we believe that a stroke of the hand or a well placed compliment is all that is necessary to raise our wife’s vibrational level or get her to become moist and ready for sex. Of all the things you can do (except shopping), your words are probably the most powerful aphrodisiac available to you.

The SINCERITY in which you orate your words will be more powerful than the words themselves. When you review the following list of phrases and concepts, of paramount importance is your ability to look her in the eye and let her know you 100% absolutely mean what you say. If you are texting her, be sure to back it up with a card, letter and/or flowers.

Don’t wait to get in trouble before you say these things. Speak your love into existence. Show her she is the only one for you. Make her BELIEVE she is the most beautiful creature on the planet. Do this and she will not only be your devoted wife, but your passionate lover for all time. If some of these sound too corny, don’t worry. A woman’s language is NOT yours! Try them out and be sincere. To your ears, you may sound cheesy, but to her, you will become the prince charming she’s always dreamed of.

You move me

I would die for you

I am so devoted to you

Your eyes totally put me into a trance

Your body hypnotizes me

I love you

I am eternally yours

I am so grateful to have found my soulmate

You are mine.

How can I serve you better?

The list is endless, but you get the idea. Women love security. Giving it to them is a good start. Speaking it into existence will create the sex kitten you desire. For more ideas, visit http://www.makeyourwifehot.com

Are you curious about morning erections? Most men have the experience, with some regularity, of waking up in the morning with an erection. Why is this? Is it nature’s way of preventing you from wetting the bed? Is it a love hangover from that dream with your secretary?

Morning erections, colloquially referred to as “morning wood” and scientifically defined as nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) are a healthy and normal physiological response that most many men experience. Waking up with “wood” may be better described as the finale to a sequence of erections during sleep. It is simply the one you remember…unless you had a wet dream.

Men average between three and five erections during a good night sleep. The erections can last from 25 -35 minutes each.

Causes of Morning Erections

It is a common myth that morning erections are caused by a full bladder. This is untrue. (Do you get them during the day before you have to pee?)

Hormone levels seem to rise during sleep and waking up with a hard on is a clear indicator that your testosterone levels are normal.  Your evening erections are also associated with an increase in heart rate. It isn’t known for sure if the erections are a result of the other physiological changes. One guess is that these erections are the bodies way of making sure everything is in good working order.

A challenge in many relationships occur when over-achieving men work 10-12 hours per day and are too exhausted in the evenings to engage in vigorous intercourse. The following morning ‘BING’ you and your johnson are awake and if you are fortunate enough to have a lady next to you, your one-track mind is in full gear.

The challenge may occur because you don’t have the skills in communication or foresight to eliminate morning breath or create a similar response with your girl or didn’t allow enough time to prepare for this inevitable DAILY event! In fact, because of its nearly daily occurrence, many men overlook the golden opportunity they have to use this time to create effortless sex! Here are some simple steps you can take to maximize nature’s Viagra.

Use Your Morning Erections

1. Put some strong mints on the nightstand. Morning breath is a real libido killer. Getting up and brushing your teeth can also work, but by then, you’ll probably go to the bathroom, lose your erection and be back to routine sex. That is not what this post is about!

2. Bathroom breaks. Most women (and men) have to pee first thing in the morning. Training you body to change this routine isn’t very difficult and the methods we suggest nearly always work. A) Reduce fluid intake after 9 PM. This may handicap you guys who need a few drinks to make love to the old lady, but hey, that’s what light switches are for. A better solution is to take the time to make your wife hot! Click here for my step by step guide on transforming your soccer-mom spouse into your private whore. By reducing fluid intake in the evening and eliminating it from 9 PM on, your body will have less of a desire to pee in the early morning. However, a quantity of urine WILL be produced. Which brings us to timing. B) “Accidentally” set your alarm for 4 AM. Nudge the little woman to turn it off, or do it yourself. But be sure to make a bit of noise and turn the lights on. That way she can wake up, also. By both of you peeing around 4 AM, you have cleared the path for another few hours of sleep and “TA DA”…no need to pee.

3. The set up. To really seal the deal on your morning jaunt, have sex in the evening prior and/or at the 4 AM point when you both pee. However, do NOT give your woman an orgasm. By bringing her right to the edge (especially at 4 AM) you will leave her wanting more at 7 AM when your free erection is ready for action. Depending on your stamina, you may hold back yourself.

So, with 3 simple steps, a little preparation and a whole lot of fun, you can transform as many of these wake up call erections into passionate, morning exercise for the both of you!

For more ideas, strategies and tips on creating a passion-filled, lustful relationship with your girl visit http://www.makeyourwifehot.com today. She may be average, but your mission is to create a sex machine! Go for it!

Poor Mark Sanford…Just when the media barrage has died down about his midlife crisis, affair and “gone missing” time the ethics committee decide to investigate “ethics” HA!

"I LIKE MY LATINA WOMEN ABOUT THIS THIN"

Putting the title “ethics” on any governmental body is a joke. There are approximately 450,389,211 jokes about the moral and ethical hypocrisy with politicians (Compared to only 387,789,466 jokes about religious leaders moral quandaries).

Listen, Mark…you messed up. Rule #1 regarding mistresses or affairs is to use the “Godfather” strategy of keeping your friends close but your enemies closer. The Appalachian trail is SOOOO far away from South America. With no back up alibi, you were doomed to be caught (like 99% of all people who delve into infidelity) the moment you didn’t admit you WERE in Argentina. This is why many politicians (including those on ethics panels) only have affairs with interns and secretaries…it makes the alibis so much easier to substantiate. Sadly, your soul mate excuse doesn’t ring true to anybody buy yourself and approximately 2 million men and women in America who are going through a midlife crisis. I guess I am one of the few “free spirits” that understands your conflict.

How does Governor Sanford’s dilemma relate to you?

Are you having an affair?

Do you want to?

Are you getting over one?

During an affair, the excitement, intrigue and even danger of discovery is a intoxicating feeling. Actually, the high people get from an affair lasts longer than normal sex because the preparation for the interludes is rife with thoughts of your steamy liaison and the hiding of your whereabouts adds to your endorphin levels. Having an affair is extra exciting!

Of course, like any drug, the downside can be horrible. The guilt that many people bury can weigh on you like a migraine headache…pounding ceaselessly without any relief.

What makes it worse is the proliferation of dating sites (or hook up sites) that cater to married people! There are some that are blatant and obvious and others that are more subtle and offer articles weighing the pros and cons. If you are experimenting with an open marriage or think that you can handle the guilt along with the excitement of an affair, you may have already gone to sites like…

Europeans have never had as much trouble as the descendants of the Pilgrims here in the states. Having a mistress on the side is not necessarily as common as a Frenchman with bad manners, but it is more widely accepted in many cultures especially among powerful men.

If you are looking for a SAFE and EXCITING respite from your dull marriage or relationship, I have the perfect solution…

Have an affair WITH your girl!

It takes some practice and you will have a few embarrassing moments. Truthfully, it will never be 100% as exciting or thrilling as a real affair. But, if you can achieve 80-90% of the raw feelings during your preparation, role play and trist without the threat of STD’s or divorce, that seems like a good deal to anyone.

For details on creating a powerful affair with your wife or girlfriend, click on my earlier post “Roleplay=Foreplay” and start practicing your South American accent. The life you save will definitely be your own.

One day you wake up and don’t feel in love anymore…yuk.

Do you want to get your wife back? Why? Are you in love? How can that be, chump…I mean if she’s left (Either physically or emotionally) then is that love? Isn’t true love when BOTH parties feel the same way? Isn’t your emotion more out of desperation of loss or being alone than her? How can you love someone who doesn’t love you back?

“Hey there…watch my video below…”

Love is pretty confusing, of course. Just when we think we have it all figured out, the world, our relationship, our health or attitude changes. Some people argue and bicker, ever realizing what the true issue is or what outcome they are after during a fight.

What is worse than fighting? What is worse than arguing or being jealous?

Indifference.

This indifference is actually worse than fighting. You see, the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. There are worse things than hate. Hate has emotion attached to it. It isn’t love, but it is an emotion nonetheless. There are strategies to transfer this emotion to a sexually charged evening! (see my post on make up sex…it works!) Get your wife back by thinking, believing and acting in love. It may sound simple, but it is not.

When indifference creeps into your head and heart, you are in serious trouble. Take some reflective time and go back to your past. Recall what you did, who you were and where you were when you felt in love. Go back and recall what circumstances created the thought “I want to spend the rest of my life with her.” Your circumstances may have changed, of course. But that doesn’t mean it is impossible to USE the past to rebuild a new future.

There are no guarantees that your heart or her heart will restore itself to the incredible lust, mystery and passion when you first met, of course. But, by thinking loving thoughts, reminding yourself of the feelings that went with those thoughts and acting “as if” they were all real, you’ve created the perfect storm to revitalize your love and create permanent change in her heart.

This may be the most difficult thing you’ve ever attempted. Getting your wife back isn’t easy, of course. Certainly “falling” in love wasn’t hard. But rekindling the passion, lust and mutual true love between 2 people may be more difficult than curing cancer. When it comes to love, we have more to fear than death, we could lose the chance to live.

Decide. Commit. Act.

After you have closed the escape hatch of an affair, divorce or indifference, face your spouse and commit to acting in love. Commit to doing the things you did naturally when you did feel in love. Once you start to act in love, the chances are much higher that your feelings will follow your actions.

Sometimes we can all use a little help to rekindle that feeling. There are some who claim that the feeling of “love” can’t be controlled….it just is. Well, here’s a clue to help you out if you fall into the trap of “I love my spouse, I’m just not IN love with them.” syndrome. Get a copy of the popular book, “The Magic of Making Up” and learn how thousands of people have taken a hopeless situation and not just survived, but THRIVED with it after a break-up, affair, or a slow drift apart. Click here to order your copy today.

Watch the video below and create some clear, simple and straightforward actions you can take to get your wife back, rekindle your love affair and have a hot wife again.

Passion, living life to its fullest and creating outstanding memories for yourself is not limited to your honeymoon or vacation sex! You have the ability and knowledge to create off-the-chart sex, lust and passion whenever you want! The tools are simple and the path is clear. Make the commitment today, follow the video, read this blog and make your wife hot and your life hotter!

For more ideas, strategies and advice on making your wife hot and your relationship hotter, visit http://www.makeyourwifehot.com today!

After a few years you may run out of positions to try…sure you’ve found your top 2-3 favorite ones…the ones that are a 100% sure fire hit and get you and your spouse to share in the euphoria.

But what about WHERE you have sex? After you’ve “broken in” the rooms in the house, done it in the car or on the back patio, where can you go to add some spice and ‘ZIP’ in the relationship? Below are a few ideas I gleaned from my personal experience as well as a few other people. (I can’t and WON’T claim having sex in church or near the dumpster…yuk!)

You’ll never run out of places or WAYS to spice up your sex life! We are not talking porn here, just some edgy stuff to give your relationship some new life and vitality. If you don’t keep doing NEW things, someone is likely to get bored and have an affair and/or get divorced. Your sex life and your marriage may be at stake!

Send me YOUR entry as to the most UNUSUAL place you’ve had sex and win a copy of my book-FREE! Send me an email to doug@makeyourwifehot.com or simply post your story or place in the comments section below.

• In a public Jacuzzi with others around.
• In my ex wife’s parent’s basement while they were home!
• In a public park pavilion in daylight.
• In the elevator at a 25 story hotel (quickie)
• In the alley next to a dumpster (empty thank God) behind a nightclub.
• On a trampoline in a college gymnasium.
• On a picnic table outside of an icehouse. People were cheering us on.
• In most of my friends bathrooms during parties.
• In the front seat during road trips (in mustangs, very hard to do).
• In my ex-boyfriend’s parents bed with my husband.
• In a Christmas display in the middle of the shopping mall.
• In the back bed of a ford f350 while being driven down the road.
• In a confessional and behind the altar.
• At an amusement park haunted house with people walking through.
• At a baseball stadium pitcher’s mound (with the pitcher of course!).
• In a jump tower on a military training field.
• At the zoo in front of the monkey cage (after hours).
• In a dentist chair (I worked in a dental office).
• On the 50 yard line at Raven Stadium at night.
• At an ice hockey arena change room in between games.
• At an elementary school in an empty class room.
• On top of a school building during a football game.
• In the ladies room at a law office during business hours.
• In a room full of guests (my girlfriend sitting on my lap and nobody was the wiser).
• In the bathroom stall at parking garage.
• In a park in the bushes next to a playground.
• Under the Rheine main bridge downtown Mannheim.
• On the roof of a high rise after a thunderstorm.
• In a church up by the organ late on a Sunday night.
• On a massage table one hour before the spa opened.
• In the darkroom at a photography lab.
• On the EXACT beach where they filmed “From Here to Eternity” in Hawaii.

Try something new and send an email to stories@makeyourwifehot.com and let me know what new and unusual place you’ve had sex. Winner of the most UNUSUAL place will get a copy of my free book. Any other stories are welcome…all names changed or hidden to protect the guilty!

For more ideas, tips, strategies and ways to spice up your sex life, have a SMOKIN’hot wife visit makeyourwifehot.com today!

My wife is NOT an exhibitionist. This is a wee bit of an obstacle because having her get a little crazy and dirty dancing in public is a bit of a turn on for me. If you are a fan of my blog and/or book, you know that her transformation from frumpy housewife to smokin’ hot MILF was HUGE!

Sex, lies and videotape was a movie starring a young James Spader and I thought it was a decent film. What my  wife and I do has NOTHING to do with that film, but the essence of role playing, videotaping your wife and getting creative is what this article is about.

We are able to turn on the passion at the drop of a hat and have the intimacy and passionate sex that is normally reserved for the movies. This kind of passion is normally reserved for newlyweds, NOT for a couple celebrating their 21st wedding anniversary.

Getting her to dirty dance at night clubs happens every so often. But if we aren’t in the mood to go out or if we are traveling and there are no “anonymous” places we can go (Not being known helps her to get out of her shell) then we sometimes get a little crazy with the camera.

Now, let’s be clear, we don’t do amateur porn or anything. But, once we start to role play a little bit, our imaginations run wild and after a half hour of having her talk in a eastern European accent and slowly fidgeting with her blouse, I get a little hot and bothered. Setting up the video camera and getting her to really heat things up can be SO seductive!

The first time we did this, honestly, I knew she wouldn’t go for the camera thing. I decided it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission, so I hid it behind some books on the table and let it run. I asked her if “Natasha” was available (This is one of our fantasy Eastern European Courtesan characters she likes to bring to our bedroom) and she said, “Da.”

Once Natasha explained how horny she was, I purposely kept the air conditioning off so she could perspire a little bit. The more Natasha breathlessly whispered how hot she was and how turned on she was, I politely asked her to unbutton her blouse and I would get her an ice tea. Actually I brought her a Long Island ice tea and as she became tipsy, her accent slipped a bit, but her sexual arousal did not.

The entire evening lasted about an hour and the videotape lasted only 45 minutes. This wasn’t a bad thing, because the shot was wide angle and I couldn’t see the soft, moist skin of my wife very well, anyway.

After I confessed that I had taped our interview and seduction, my wife laughed and said, “Natasha doesn’t care, only I do.” So, whenever I want to videotape my wife dancing, stripping, or simply record that sexy accent during a seduction scene, I only have to ask for one of our imaginary friends to accomodate us. This not only turns me on to NO END, but it allows for some serious fantasy-time with other women. And yes, I reciprocate with my wife. I have only 2 or 3 accents that I do decent enough to let her fantasies run wild, but that is MORE than enough to keep our marriage fresh, our love alive and our sexual excitement at its peak.

For more ideas, strategies and tips to make your wife hot and your marriage hotter, visit makeyourwifehot.com.

Governor Sanford, Mel Gibson, and 38 million men in their midlife can’t all be wrong! Midlife crisis (Or midlife transformation if you are a Buddhist or Zen expert) is a temporary situation. Your life isn’t over, but by the time your crisis is, you’ll be three years closer to the grave. Maybe you’ve had thoughts of taking up oil painting or taking up adrenaline-based activities like bungee jumping or  hiring hookers in Panama.

Not sure if you are in a midlife crisis? Have you had thoughts such as:

•You are seriously thinking about “hiring a pro” next time you are in Vegas.
•You recently looked in the mirror and saw your dad.
•Your wife is not appealing to you anymore (and Stacey in accounting definitely is!)
•Your sex drive is waning or you just can’t go as long as you did a few years ago.
•Your wife and you have drifted apart and don’t share the same enthusiasm for life.
•You flirt more than before and/or you have looked at more porn than usual.
•Your midsection is flabby no matter how much you diet or exercise
•You think more about the past than the future.

Hello, chump…you are in a midlife crisis!

A midlife crisis cannot be treated like any problem or challenge previously experienced. There is no article, book, or therapy session that will fix it all today. Going to a fantasy ball camp or going across the country on Harley’s with your friends won’t fix it all by itself either. The journey one must go through is just that-a journey. In order to come out of this phase BETTER, STRONGER and HAPPIER one will need to reflect, grow, and map out their personal journey. Here are 8 tips to help you cry, rejoice or stay miserable:

1. Stop reading stories about success! When a guy in MLC (midlife crisis) reads about some 11 year old learning to fly or some 28 year old billionaire, not only is it an EXTREME exception, it makes us normal guys physically sick. Read about Colonel Sanders or Ray Kroc. These guys didn’t hit their business stride until their MLC was over, and their pecker was gathering dust.

2. Share ALL your perverted thoughts with your spouse. Don’t hold back. Who cares that you “thought” about a three-some when you were in Vegas! Studies have shown that 82% of guys fantasize about it, 17% pull it off, and only 1% talk to their spouses about ANYTHING! Be a contrarian and let her know. That way she won’t be surprised if you leave her for a Peruvian cage dancer. Who knows, she may be one of the 12% of women who will entertain the idea of a three-some! If you want to try to beat these odds, go ahead and read “How to Convince your Wife to Bring Home a Girlfriend” on my blog.

3. Take some time every day to reflect, think, and beat off. Listen, your life may be at a crossroad and you may decide to keep sucking up to your boss and stay with your frumpy wife. Hell, you may even elect not to get a hooker, stay faithful and suck it up, so at least take some amount of time for yourself and be happy for 8-10 minutes!

4. Definitely exercise more. Your MLC isn’t because the world is moving faster than your Nike’s, it is because you have one Florsheim in the grave already. Don’t worry, dude, everybody returns to their youth, and just because you may be wearing diapers in a few years doesn’t mean you can’t have a sexy nurse feed you your oatmeal or leave a good looking corpse. The more you convert your frustration and anxiety into meaningful exercise, the better you will feel. Plus, if you decide to get a divorce your chances of landing a nubile 29 year old with father issues instead of your mom’s friends increases ten-fold.

5. Don’t hire an escort. It is simple psychology, really. You are getting old and your body craves young, fertile females to breed with. If you are married, you run a few risks (Duh!). I shouldn’t have to remind you, but since your brain has relocated 4 inches below your belt, you need a reminder. Your 15 minutes of pleasure will be a temporary escape from the reality of your age. You didn’t REALLY impress her, Chuck. You aren’t REALLY going to marry Julia Roberts like in Pretty Woman. (Unless you look like Richard Gere and have a few million of disposable cash)

6. Cry every once in a while in front of your wife. Go ahead, let go and let it out. When the guys get together, we won’t share THAT information! But when you let your guard down in front of her, she’ll see your vulnerability, get in touch with your sensitive side, and probably give you a hummer. In any case, you’ll win points for sharing and you deserve some kind of reward for that!

7. Find a person or venue to vent…really vent. Of all the things that will make you feel better temporarily (including physical exercise, basket weaving, or blowing stuff up) the ability to talk it out, scream, or just get the crap out of your head is very important. Many of us tend to ponder the same garbage over and over again in our brains. Dumping those thoughts either on paper, to a therapist, or a non-judgemental friend is important. (NOTE: Be sure not to dump TOO much on your buddy, otherwise you may bore him to death as he pretends to care about your garbage. Or worse, he may open up and share how HIS life is even more miserable than yours!)

8. Read a few articles on midlife transformation (Eastern philosophy). The word midlife crisis is used as a Western reference point only. It isn’t really a crisis in the grand scheme of things, after all. You haven’t lost your kids and brothers in a Nazi concentration camp, chump. It’s just that our society has paved the way for you to have SO MUCH free time, that you can actually do something with your life, if you want to. Our great grandfathers were too busy working 90 hours per week to notice they were going to croak at 48. Your situation gives you the GIFT of a second life. Don’t cry too much about it. You really can take up skeet shooting as a career as long as you’ve socked away a few bucks for the trailer home in Okeechobee.

-Doug Steponin
www.makeyourwifehot.com

I recently asked a friend of mine what men want in a relationship and she point blank told me, “That’s the easiest question ever,” she said. “Men just want sex!”

While her response was obvious, my response to her was not.

In studying and writing about relationships, sexuality and marriage for years, my husband and I have distilled the whole ‘love and relationship’ game to some basic communication fundamentals. Our blog sheds some light on communication basics and advanced strategies to create a passionate romance regardless of how long you’ve been together.

Would you be surprised if I told you sex isn’t even in the top 5 things men really want from their partner? Sure, they are visual and seem quite myopic in their hunger for sex. But, sex and the pleasure it provides isn’t the final emotional feeling that men want from their girlfriends and wives, in the end, it’s five other often overlooked and under-appreciated things that men crave, desire, want, and need to make their relationship the envy of their peers. Each of these five things can *lead* to great sex, but none require it. Curious? Read on…

Women, when your man feels at his best, he will seek out every opportunity to spend more time with you and to satisfy your needs. So, it’s in your best interest to give him what he wants (and it’s easier than you would ever believe), so you’ll get more of what you want. See how it works?

1.  Men Want To Be Adored

In every man, there is a little boy (Remember what a baby he is when he is sick?). A man’s ego is fragile. Before the industrial revolution, the man with the most amount of wealth (we’ll leave out the “big harem” example) was the strongest warrior and/or the most successful hunter. Ever since he’s traded in his spear for a pda, men have defined their masculinity through sports and/or financial success. The more you give him SPECIFIC accolades about his success, the clearer your message of love and respect will be towards him. Tell him why you love him so much, often and clearly. Let him know that he is important to you. Just as you may be his Princess, your man wants to know he’s your Prince.

2.  Men Want To Be Consulted

There is no need to pretend you’re stupid, but when you find something your man is knowledgeable or passionate about, let him take the stage. When you show a sincere interest in his knowledge base, the more you subtly stroke his ego. Again, don’t be sarcastic or placating. The more you take a sincere interest in his work and hobbies, the stronger your connection will become. Ask his opinion and let him feel he’s an active part of your decisions and choices.

3.  Men Want To Be Trusted

Many of us have been hurt or lied to, but if your man isn’t the one who hurt you, trust him. After we are hurt, we tend to keep our guard up. “Guilty until proven innocent” is a popular attitude after one is hurt. Trust must be earned after a person has lied, of course. But “innocent until proven guilty” can go a long way to building more of a connection that can lead to a two-way street of trust. Go out of your way to give him no reason to doubt you and your own trustworthiness. Let him know you feel safe and secure with him.

4.  Men Want To Feel Sexy

Of course it is time to stroke his…uhmm….ego, but men like to feel sexy, handsome or fit just as much as women do. You will get SO much mileage out of a few “Do you know how sexy you are to me?” or “You look hot in that!” comments. Keep the compliments sincere and specific. Don’t praise his beer gut and say, “More to love!” Like you, he knows what areas he has to work on. However, the more you point out his strong points, the more he will work on correcting his weaknesses as well. Additionally, he will start appreciating and complimenting you more too!

5.  Men Want You To Be Their Friend

Many men don’t have the traditional social outlets that women do to discuss their emotions, dreams, and fears. By being his friend first, without judging, you allow him to open up. Interestingly, men RARELY open up to other men. They are taught at an early age NOT to shed a tear which results in them not sharing their feelings in general. Coincidentally, most affairs are born from this. A man may have a difficult time sharing his deep troubles with his wife, but can with his secretary. OOPS! Be sure you set up a “safe zone” of conversation which allows him to be vulnerable and open. Letting him know that this “safe zone” (Both verbally and geographically) in NO WAY diminishes your opinion of his manliness in all other areas.

The love of a woman can make or break a man. The woman who criticizes her man creates what she despises. The woman who encourages her man and gives him what he truly wants creates what she inspires. Give your man what he wants and your life, your relationship, and your love will get better with every passing day. You will experience more loving, more caressing and more attention from your man than you ever imagined possible!

For more strategies and ideas on creating a sexually-charged romance with you wife, read my husband’s book makeyourwifehot.com and get YOUR wife to be as hot as me!

-Chris Steponin

When I first considered this question a few years back, the smart ass in me also asked, “DO I want my wife back?” The answer, no surprise, was “That depends!”

Most people who marry, do so for love. That love starts off with butterflies in your stomach, an intangible “connection” and probably great sex. Maintaining and stimulating excitement in a marriage is difficult…for some, near impossible.

So if you find yourself asking, “How do I get my wife back?” and you also ask, “Do I want to?” you’re not alone. In fact, both questions are important enough to be worthy of discussion. Please leave your comments here and I will publish all of them that are worth.

“Do I want my wife back?”

If you have to ask, it isn’t because you don’t love her. It is most likely because you, her and your relationship has changed. She may not be that bubbly young bride anymore. You may not be that big dreaming conqueror like you were. In fact, people, like everything else, changes. Sure, you’d like the “former” wife back…but is that possible?

Yes and No.

If you are in midlife, it will be impossible to go back to being 26 again. Many midlife guys mistakenly think that hanging out with, or re-marrying a younger woman will somehow make THEM younger. It might make them feel younger, but nobody can stop the clock of life.

Your wife, like you, is changing. How you adapt and grow with that change is important. The more you can talk openly and honestly about yourself and your feelings as you go through life, the more likely you will come to the conclusion that you do want your wife back. You married her for some reason all those years ago. Why not consider staying the course and creating a NEW love affair with her!

That brings us to “How do I get my wife back.” How you do it is very similar to how you did it in the first place. Many guys begin to take their wives for granted because of routine and complacency. When was the last time you complimented her on her cooking? How often do you send flowers for no reason? When was the last time you stared into her eyes and said, “Boy you look hot!”

If you want to get your wife back, (and yes, Chuck, there are reasons she may have “checked out” of the relationship) then you must court her. You have to patiently and without expecting ANY instant results, put her on a pedestal and treat her like the princess she once was and can become again. Why don’t you do something impulsive like buy her a gift for no reason?

The hardest part about this is the reaction you may get. It can be as callous as “Forget it…you had your chance. I’m out of here!” to “What’s got into you?” Regardless of the reaction you receive it is important to stay the course and keep those cards and letters coming! For more tips, see my website.

In order to win her back, you must start by changing YOUR attitude and your expectations. First of all, don’t expect ANYTHING in return. It may have taken you months or years for the decline in your marriage. Don’t expect it to turn around in a matter of days or weeks. Second, keep your attitude uplifting and fresh. Don’t be over dramatic or too pushy. Read her body language and be subtle.

Here are a few ideas:

• Take out the garbage early.
• Vacuum the entire house before she comes home some day.
• Help the kids with their homework.
• Wash and wax her car as a surprise.
• Send her flowers for no reason.
• Leave rose petals on your bed and bedroom floor.
• Give her a foot massage TONIGHT!
• Make her a gourmet dinner.
• Send her and her friends to the salon for 1/2 day.
• Leave her 1/2 dozen  “love you” post it notes around the house
• Kiss her gently and softly for 1/2 an hour with NO sex.
• Compliment her in public to her friends
• Put her on a pedestal REGARDLESS of her reaction.

There are thousands of things, activities and deeds you can do. Saying I love you is a great start. Showing it unconditionally will seal the deal most of the time. Speaking of time, THAT is your major weapon. If she is grumpy, frumpy or just plain disinterested, don’t despair. Your cheery attitude and bright smile is sure to wear on her eventually. Killing her with kindness will be fun! Go for it!!!

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