Make Your Wife Hot

After a few years you may run out of positions to try…sure you’ve found your top 2-3 favorite ones…the ones that are a 100% sure fire hit and get you and your spouse to share in the euphoria.

But what about WHERE you have sex? After you’ve “broken in” the rooms in the house, done it in the car or on the back patio, where can you go to add some spice and ‘ZIP’ in the relationship? Below are a few ideas I gleaned from my personal experience as well as a few other people. (I can’t and WON’T claim having sex in church or near the dumpster…yuk!)

You’ll never run out of places or WAYS to spice up your sex life! We are not talking porn here, just some edgy stuff to give your relationship some new life and vitality. If you don’t keep doing NEW things, someone is likely to get bored and have an affair and/or get divorced. Your sex life and your marriage may be at stake!

Send me YOUR entry as to the most UNUSUAL place you’ve had sex and win a copy of my book-FREE! Send me an email to doug@makeyourwifehot.com or simply post your story or place in the comments section below.

• In a public Jacuzzi with others around.
• In my ex wife’s parent’s basement while they were home!
• In a public park pavilion in daylight.
• In the elevator at a 25 story hotel (quickie)
• In the alley next to a dumpster (empty thank God) behind a nightclub.
• On a trampoline in a college gymnasium.
• On a picnic table outside of an icehouse. People were cheering us on.
• In most of my friends bathrooms during parties.
• In the front seat during road trips (in mustangs, very hard to do).
• In my ex-boyfriend’s parents bed with my husband.
• In a Christmas display in the middle of the shopping mall.
• In the back bed of a ford f350 while being driven down the road.
• In a confessional and behind the altar.
• At an amusement park haunted house with people walking through.
• At a baseball stadium pitcher’s mound (with the pitcher of course!).
• In a jump tower on a military training field.
• At the zoo in front of the monkey cage (after hours).
• In a dentist chair (I worked in a dental office).
• On the 50 yard line at Raven Stadium at night.
• At an ice hockey arena change room in between games.
• At an elementary school in an empty class room.
• On top of a school building during a football game.
• In the ladies room at a law office during business hours.
• In a room full of guests (my girlfriend sitting on my lap and nobody was the wiser).
• In the bathroom stall at parking garage.
• In a park in the bushes next to a playground.
• Under the Rheine main bridge downtown Mannheim.
• On the roof of a high rise after a thunderstorm.
• In a church up by the organ late on a Sunday night.
• On a massage table one hour before the spa opened.
• In the darkroom at a photography lab.
• On the EXACT beach where they filmed “From Here to Eternity” in Hawaii.

Try something new and send an email to stories@makeyourwifehot.com and let me know what new and unusual place you’ve had sex. Winner of the most UNUSUAL place will get a copy of my free book. Any other stories are welcome…all names changed or hidden to protect the guilty!

For more ideas, tips, strategies and ways to spice up your sex life, have a SMOKIN’hot wife visit makeyourwifehot.com today!

Governor Sanford, Mel Gibson, and 38 million men in their midlife can’t all be wrong! Midlife crisis (Or midlife transformation if you are a Buddhist or Zen expert) is a temporary situation. Your life isn’t over, but by the time your crisis is, you’ll be three years closer to the grave. Maybe you’ve had thoughts of taking up oil painting or taking up adrenaline-based activities like bungee jumping or  hiring hookers in Panama.

Not sure if you are in a midlife crisis? Have you had thoughts such as:

•You are seriously thinking about “hiring a pro” next time you are in Vegas.
•You recently looked in the mirror and saw your dad.
•Your wife is not appealing to you anymore (and Stacey in accounting definitely is!)
•Your sex drive is waning or you just can’t go as long as you did a few years ago.
•Your wife and you have drifted apart and don’t share the same enthusiasm for life.
•You flirt more than before and/or you have looked at more porn than usual.
•Your midsection is flabby no matter how much you diet or exercise
•You think more about the past than the future.

Hello, chump…you are in a midlife crisis!

A midlife crisis cannot be treated like any problem or challenge previously experienced. There is no article, book, or therapy session that will fix it all today. Going to a fantasy ball camp or going across the country on Harley’s with your friends won’t fix it all by itself either. The journey one must go through is just that-a journey. In order to come out of this phase BETTER, STRONGER and HAPPIER one will need to reflect, grow, and map out their personal journey. Here are 8 tips to help you cry, rejoice or stay miserable:

1. Stop reading stories about success! When a guy in MLC (midlife crisis) reads about some 11 year old learning to fly or some 28 year old billionaire, not only is it an EXTREME exception, it makes us normal guys physically sick. Read about Colonel Sanders or Ray Kroc. These guys didn’t hit their business stride until their MLC was over, and their pecker was gathering dust.

2. Share ALL your perverted thoughts with your spouse. Don’t hold back. Who cares that you “thought” about a three-some when you were in Vegas! Studies have shown that 82% of guys fantasize about it, 17% pull it off, and only 1% talk to their spouses about ANYTHING! Be a contrarian and let her know. That way she won’t be surprised if you leave her for a Peruvian cage dancer. Who knows, she may be one of the 12% of women who will entertain the idea of a three-some! If you want to try to beat these odds, go ahead and read “How to Convince your Wife to Bring Home a Girlfriend” on my blog.

3. Take some time every day to reflect, think, and beat off. Listen, your life may be at a crossroad and you may decide to keep sucking up to your boss and stay with your frumpy wife. Hell, you may even elect not to get a hooker, stay faithful and suck it up, so at least take some amount of time for yourself and be happy for 8-10 minutes!

4. Definitely exercise more. Your MLC isn’t because the world is moving faster than your Nike’s, it is because you have one Florsheim in the grave already. Don’t worry, dude, everybody returns to their youth, and just because you may be wearing diapers in a few years doesn’t mean you can’t have a sexy nurse feed you your oatmeal or leave a good looking corpse. The more you convert your frustration and anxiety into meaningful exercise, the better you will feel. Plus, if you decide to get a divorce your chances of landing a nubile 29 year old with father issues instead of your mom’s friends increases ten-fold.

5. Don’t hire an escort. It is simple psychology, really. You are getting old and your body craves young, fertile females to breed with. If you are married, you run a few risks (Duh!). I shouldn’t have to remind you, but since your brain has relocated 4 inches below your belt, you need a reminder. Your 15 minutes of pleasure will be a temporary escape from the reality of your age. You didn’t REALLY impress her, Chuck. You aren’t REALLY going to marry Julia Roberts like in Pretty Woman. (Unless you look like Richard Gere and have a few million of disposable cash)

6. Cry every once in a while in front of your wife. Go ahead, let go and let it out. When the guys get together, we won’t share THAT information! But when you let your guard down in front of her, she’ll see your vulnerability, get in touch with your sensitive side, and probably give you a hummer. In any case, you’ll win points for sharing and you deserve some kind of reward for that!

7. Find a person or venue to vent…really vent. Of all the things that will make you feel better temporarily (including physical exercise, basket weaving, or blowing stuff up) the ability to talk it out, scream, or just get the crap out of your head is very important. Many of us tend to ponder the same garbage over and over again in our brains. Dumping those thoughts either on paper, to a therapist, or a non-judgemental friend is important. (NOTE: Be sure not to dump TOO much on your buddy, otherwise you may bore him to death as he pretends to care about your garbage. Or worse, he may open up and share how HIS life is even more miserable than yours!)

8. Read a few articles on midlife transformation (Eastern philosophy). The word midlife crisis is used as a Western reference point only. It isn’t really a crisis in the grand scheme of things, after all. You haven’t lost your kids and brothers in a Nazi concentration camp, chump. It’s just that our society has paved the way for you to have SO MUCH free time, that you can actually do something with your life, if you want to. Our great grandfathers were too busy working 90 hours per week to notice they were going to croak at 48. Your situation gives you the GIFT of a second life. Don’t cry too much about it. You really can take up skeet shooting as a career as long as you’ve socked away a few bucks for the trailer home in Okeechobee.

-Doug Steponin
www.makeyourwifehot.com

The post below is re-blogged from Cindy English and her site, “Cheating Ways” She does not condone or judge the issue of infidelity. Her site has great material on the ins and outs (sorry about that pun!) of infidelity. I added a few comments as well.

The question is as old as the problem itself…

Why do men cheat?
Is monogamy really a myth?
Are guys predestined to cheat because it is human nature?

Scientists have long explained that men are biologically motivated to seek out multiple sex partners. This natural instinct ensures a healthy gene pool and the survival of our species.

If this is true, then one cannot expect fidelity from a man. It kind of lets guys off the hook when they wander doesn’t it?

So why do they feel guilty? If it is a man’s biological right to have sex wherever, whenever, with whomever, why should they worry about being caught?

Because somewhere along the way, self imposed “ethics” and “morality” placed restrictions on human behavior…including sex!

Perhaps if guys didn’t seem to derive such pleasure from sex, it wouldn’t be such a sin. Think about it. If sex with multiple partners were just another “chore” for men as cleaning house and cooking meals is to women, would we get upset about it?

Probably not…poor guys!
Nevertheless…men do enjoy sex…a lot…and not always with their partner!

Here are their Top 10 reasons…

I’d like to say that they are in no particular order but, we all know what guys say is the number one reason that they cheat. Remember ladies, the jokes about sex ending when marriage begins, wouldn’t be funny if there weren’t some truth to them!

1. Not getting enough at home! Women tend to get caught up in “life” and sex gets put on the “back burner”. She may be bent over helping the kids tie their shoes but he’s still looking at her “nice ass”. God…is that all they think about?
2. It’s reassuring to know that he’s still “got it”. Time has a way of making us all feel less sexy and desirable. A little forbidden rendezvous can be a real shot to a sagging male ego.
3. The wife just isn’t physically appealing anymore. Face it, women do tend to let themselves go. Often they get too busy raising their families and neglect themselves. They are too tired to put on make up or do those thigh slimming exercises. The result? A sexy new secretary and whatdayaknow…”Honey…I have to work late”! Don’t let this happen. Your wife WANTS to be hot and your support and encouragement may be the catlyst she needs.
4. Sex at home is boring. The wife doesn’t like to try new things (or old things – namely, blow jobs!). To men, variety is the spice of life and he may have some sexual urges that his wife is not willing to fulfill. He may have some ideas that he would rather his wife didn’t know about. Can you say “manage-a-trios”?
5. He just couldn’t say no. The woman was hot and all over him. It just seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity…too good to pass up. This is where the phrase “thinking with their little head” came from!
6. The wife just isn’t fun anymore. She worries, she nags, she fusses and they fight all of the time. He cheats to “get away from it all”. Guys, this is half YOUR fault! Be sure to be fun yourself and treat her right.
7. He just doesn’t love his wife anymore. And just how do you tell someone that tactfully? It is easier to have an affair than it is to deal with the pain and emotional upheaval of such a confession. On the other hand…if he is caught cheating? Well, the door is then opened for a speedy exit!
8. The thrill of the chase is exhilarating. Some men are truly addicted not only to the act of sex itself, but to the hunt. They thrive on the rush they get when they are able to conquer even the toughest “ice queen”. It’s not about love, it’s about control and winning! Men are built for competition and war.
9. They cheat because they can. Many men know that their wives are insecure and dependant on them. They also know that low self esteem and a fear of being alone will keep her “in place” and “at home” no matter what, or who they do. So, why not? Variety – remember?
10. And finally, men cheat to get even! It is an absolute blow to the male ego for his sexual prowess to be in question. Why else would a woman cheat on him? His own affair as a result, serves two purposes, revenge and reassurance of manhood.

These are the top 10 reasons. There are probably many more. Are any of them “excuseable”? Mmmm…a couple…maybe (although most women won’t agree).

Are any of them “preventable”?
Of course.

Although monogamy may not human nature…it is a choice!

For more ideas and strategies to create a LOVE AFFAIR with your wife, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com and have the passionate relationship you deserve.

I was not in love with her anymore…I sat in the car, with the rain streaming down my windshield feeling utterly hopeless. My life, family, passion, legacy, friends…it was all at a crossroads. It looked as though either road was going to be filled with pain and suffering…great.

That event happened over 3 years ago and sometimes, when we still disagree, I have a flash of “Did I make the right choice to stick this out?” Divorce would have been easier, I tell myself. Sure, the pain would be throbbing in our heads. But, all pain is temporary, Doug. Eventually, you two could move ON with your life and start fresh. Millions of people do it. Why not join the ranks, find your true self and get on with it…

Ahhh…the children…Yes, we have 3 incredible children. How can you “abandon” them? I can’t. I won’t. I didn’t.

Families going through these issues need to do just that…go THROUGH them. After countless counseling sessions, my wife and I both realized several things that we must reinforce in our lives every day.

1. No one person can meet all of our needs. Expecting your spouse to be EVERYTHING to you isn’t normal.

2. It is OK to share thoughts, feelings, and ideas without expecting a response or personifying it. If I feel a certain way, it does NOT mean that you caused it or are to blame. Those are my feelings and issues; I must take charge of them.

3. The pain and suffering of sticking it out in a “hopeless” marriage isn’t easy. I do believe it is easier to get divorced. But, I also don’t believe any situation is hopeless. Like Captain Kirk so proudly states, “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.” There is a solution to your marital pain that can create a renewal of self AND us. Being strong individuals FIRST is so important if there is to ever be a marriage again.

4. Take stock in who you are, what you want, and clearly lay it out to yourself first, then to your spouse. Find points and areas where you agree and compliment each other. On the areas where you do not agree, simply acknowledge that BOTH of you have those and it is NORMAL to have them.

There is a whole lot more to discuss on this topic and your comments are welcome. Staying together for the children is a great place to start, but it shouldn’t end there. Rekindling a marriage can be fun if you take the attitude you had when you dated. We used a system called “Light Your Fire” and it worked VERY well. I borrowed many of these concepts in integrated them into my book, “Make Your Wife Hot” which may be a chauvinistic title, but has great emotional content that ladies can use as well.

Part 1 of a 3 part series….stay tuned

"What did you say?"

One of my favorite online magazines is AskMen. Just as we all enjoy Glamour for the pictures, AskMen always has great content, tips and advice for single and married guys. Remember when using these tools that SINCERITY is more important than volume! Only sincere compliments work, so be factual and be romantic! Below are 10 things that you can always use to make YOUR life better and your relationship smoother…

Number 10 “How was your day?” When you ask her how her day went, her interpretation is that you are thoughtful and eager to know about her 9-to-5 routine. Be warned though: This question gives her license to talk at length about all the little dramas that occurred throughout her day. So be ready to set aside some time to listen to her stories.

Why it makes you look good: To her, it’s the thought that counts. Asking about her day shows that you’re receptive, interested and open to listening to her. You’re giving her an outlet to vent and acting as her confidante. Sure, you might have to listen longer than you want to, but once she’s done talking shop, she’ll be talking about you.

Number 9 “How do you feel about [anything]?” Asking this question tells your lady that you’re genuinely concerned about her feelings. And, as both Oprah and Dr. Phil have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, women love to express their feelings on every topic imaginable. Know, however, that you’re setting yourself up for a lengthy and deep conversation about whatever the topic may be. So don’t ask this if you’re planning to watch a game that night.

Why it makes you look good: It’s all about showing the compassionate side. Once she understands that you’re devoting attention to her it will make all her feelings about you that much more intense. So, if you were just kind of attractive before, you’ll become a stud in her eyes. If you were a friend before, now she’ll want more. Get the picture?

Number 8 “You’re really smart.” By acknowledging her intelligence, you’re communicating that you recognize her brains, as well as her figure. This makes a woman feel appreciated for all her assets, not just the parts that fit in a thong or a bra. It’s a mark of respect from her man.

Why it makes you look good: First off, she’ll appreciate that you are capable of thinking above the waistline. Women love a cordial man, and there’s no better way for you to show off your gentlemanly qualities than to praise and distinguish her smart.

Number 7 “I can’t believe how sexy you look!” Straight up, this tells her that you find her attractive, and to a lesser extent, that you want some. But, if you’re in a relationship, she’ll hear more than that — namely, that you’re still lustfully appreciating her fine ass. No woman could fail to be flattered by that compliment.

Why it makes you look good: This line is particularly effective in long-term relationships, as you’re assuring your woman that she’s still hot. In return, this makes her want to share her hotness with you. Any questions? Didn’t think so.

Number 6 “You’re prettier than your girlfriends.” Putting her on a pedestal among her peers gives her an ego boost that she can secretly lord over her gal pals. It’s high praise in the world of women, and will score you some big flattery points.

Why it makes you look good: Aside from making her feel aesthetically superior to other women, this little remark will make her cognizant of how much you value her. She’ll also feel less threatened by her friends when they are around you. She’ll feel good about herself and consequently will want to reward your good taste. There is a potential flip side, however: the jealous partner may take this only as evidence that you’re checking out her friends.

Number 5 “You’re great in bed.” Simply put, this line makes her feel like a goddess. Hearing it suggests that her sexuality has been elevated in your eyes and makes her feel like she really knows how to satisfy her man. It could also help to knock away any inhibitions she might have in the bedroom.

Why it makes you look good: Praising her performance indicates that for you, sex isn’t just about getting your rocks off. You appreciate every aspect of the experience itself, particularly the extra efforts she puts towards it. (Blogger’s Note: For more tips on what women REALLY want, check out this site. Keep in mind the content was written by my wife AND myself, but the context is male oriented)

Number 4 “I want to spend my life with you.” This is a heavy line; it’s not many degrees away from proposing to her. So be prepared for the consequences if you utter it. But also keep in mind that risk often carries reward — once you tell her this she’ll be doing mental backflips of joy. Other phrases that work in a similar vein but are less committal are, “Only you can make me so happy,” and, “I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.”

Why it makes you look good: All women love to hear a formal expression of enduring commitment from their man. Brother, to her, you’ll practically receive a permanent halo after this.

Number 3 “You’re my best friend.” You’re telling her how you feel above and beyond a sexual context. It means you’ve placed value upon your friendship and want to do things with her that other men may not have had an interest in. She’ll feel overpoweringly connected to you after you say this.

Why it makes you look good: These words change you from being just the guy she’s doing to the guy she is doing things with, too. It rockets you to the top of the suitor list because you’ve openly declared the F-word: friendship.

Number 2 “You’ll make a great mother.” Most women look forward to having babies one day. Most also agonize over whether they will do a good job of it. By saying this you affirm to her that she’ll be a success. Furthermore, you satisfy her internal need to be pacified on the subject. Coming from her man, these words will make her the happiest she can be.

Why it makes you look good: Indirectly, you just confirmed to your woman that you’re thinking about making babies with her. Obviously, this is great music to her ears. From this point onwards, she’ll be ever more receptive to your advances.

Number 1 “You make my life complete.” This tells her that she’s the only one for you. All women want to hear this line from their men. It says that you’ve accepted her completely and that she has become an essential, indispensable ingredient in your life. That’s an unbelievably gratifying thought to your woman — she’ll be smiling for days.

Why it makes you look good: This basically says that you need her in your life, and that you couldn’t live without her. Women fall head over heels for this kind of stuff. honorable mention “I love you.” The “three little words” that all the chick flicks place so much importance on can have a serious impact. If you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s good to say this every now and then.

For more ideas, strategies and tactics on creating a sexually-charged relationship for life, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com.

It’s not often that I re-post another article…after all, this is MY blog and advice and commentary about my 21 years of marriage. You’ve read about how love and sex is a comedy, tragedy and love story all in one. However, after reading Alisa’s post (http://projecthappilyeverafter.com) I can tell you that she has the “right stuff” when it comes to communication and relationships. She is a gifted author and definitely worth the read.

YOUR relationship has the potential to become whatever you want it to be!

Your DECISION can be much more important than your history or circumstances. Take charge of what you really want and just decide to stay married, act married, and become the man of her dreams. After YOU take charge of that decision, chances are VERY high that she will become the MILF of your dreams and the relationship everyone envies. Here is Alisa’s most recent post, below:

Many people ask me how I found the motivation to work on my marriage when so much was going wrong. Most of the people who ask this are entrenched in the Planning The Funeral stage of marital discontent—what I sometimes refer to as mile 20 of the marriage marathon. Their sex life is either non-existent or unfulfilling. They don’t have conversations. When they go out to dinner together, there’s silence. When they do talk, they fight. And when they fight, the rarely if ever reach a resolution.

As a result, they console themselves by imagining what their lives would be like if their partners would conveniently drop dead.

Yeah, I’ve been there.

So how did I find the courage to work on my marriage when everything seemed so hopeless?

The courage came from a deep place. It was an act of faith. It will be an act of faith for you, too. In the beginning, you won’t know for sure whether or not your marriage project will work. So you must decide to work on your marriage for reasons that go beyond the finish line. You do it for your self, because:

1.    You need to know—without a doubt—that your marriage is or is not worth saving. The only way to know for sure? Try to save your marriage and see if you make any improvement. At the beginning of your marriage project, rate your marriage on a scale of 1 (I wish he would just drop dead) to 10 (I am so glad I married him!) Four months later, rate it again. If your rating went up? Your marriage has potential. If it stayed the same or went down? It’s probably not worth saving. Sure, you’d rather have the ease of posing the Is My Marriage Worth Saving? to a Magic 8 Ball, but I’m pretty sure my method—while more time-consuming—is much more reliable. It allows you to walk away from your marriage (if it comes to that) without a shred of guilt, because you tried everything and everything did not work.

2.    You need to work on you. Your bad marriage is not entirely your spouse’s fault. You are a part of the problem. A bad marriage is caused by the chemistry between two people. One person doesn’t ask for what she wants, which allows the other person to get away with whatever he wants. One person is controlling, which allows the other person to never stick her neck out and make a decision. Usually, the thing about your partner that you most hate is the thing that will make you feel most incomplete if you split up. Working on your marriage will force you to work on yourself, so you’ll become more assertive, learn how to communicate, evolve into a better listener, and more. So even if you do eventually split up, you’ll still be better off, because you’ll be a more complete person.

But you need more than that, right? You want a guarantee. You want to know that it will work. I just can’t give you that. What I can tell you is this: Not a day goes by that I don’t feel downright grateful that my husband is still in my life. Slightly more than two years ago? Not a day went by that I didn’t think about how much better off I would be if my husband were no longer in my life.

Today, when I’m irritated with my husband, I tell him. I’ve learned how to talk about such issues in a way that does not make him defensive, and he’s learned how to listen and respond. Whenever something bothers me about my marriage, I’ve learned to see if as a problem, one that my husband and I can solve together.

I’ve also learned to recognize grumpiness for what it is: grumpiness. I’m not as quick to go to the He Doesn’t Love Me Place when my husband is having a hunger emergency and accidentally bites my head off because I can’t seem to find the restaurant we’re looking for. No, I’m much more likely to think, “That big brat is having a hunger emergency. I better find the restaurant before he completely implodes.” And once he’s shoveled some food into himself, I say, “Are you still mad at me?” He says, “God no. I’m so sorry” and that’s that.

My husband makes my latte for me every morning, not because I can’t make one for myself, but because he knows I like it when he makes my latte. It makes me feel loved. And I make sure to Atta Boy him whenever he does something around the house for the same reason. Even when he does something small, like buy me a gift for no reason, I am sure to let him know I appreciate the gesture.

Our sex life? My husband recently told me that he’d like to do it every other day. As he said it, though, he acknowledged that he didn’t think it was really possible. And instead of feeling put upon, I thought, “I would really love to make that wish come true, because I really do love this guy.” And this week? I have. He’s floored. I’m not the wife he knows, but he certainly likes the new me.

Your marriage might get to this place some day, too. It won’t happen overnight. It won’t happen linearly, either. You’ll continually take two steps forward and one step back. But if you continue to grow and change together (your partner has to be willing to work at it, too), you can get to this place, too.

-Alisa Bowman
http://projecthappilyeverafter.com

For more advice and tips on marriage, love, sex, and getting YOUR wife to be understanding, fun, sexy and hot, visit http://makeyourwifehot.comand become a regular reader of my blog.

While this isn’t a classic “steamy exploit” blog entry, it is important to try to understand and properly maneuver your emotions and communication with your wife. The ability to speak her language is MORE than half the battle to get more sex, joy and fulfillment in your marriage. My book on this topic if chock full of strategies, ideas, and techniques to take control of your relationship, get more satisfying sex, and turn any housewife into a smokin’ hot MILF!

Let’s start with a basic understanding of the way most women think.

They don’t have grudges; just like a computer,  the pop-ups happen for days, months, or even years on any issue.

Men are visual: Women are verbal. Remember that Maxim has more photos and Cosmo has more stories.

Women don’t compartmentalize like men. If we have an argument right before going to work, a man can go to work and be effective. A woman has unresolved issues that do not leave her mind…sometimes for a very long time.

SOLUTIONS:
Guys the only way to “rewire” this computer, restart the clock and have a pleasant day is to do three things:

1. Rethink your assumptions about how she thinks. Don’t use YOUR framework for discussions, arguing, and communication to further the conversation. Your brain isn’t wired the same way. Really try to understand her process. Listen, listen, and then, listen some more. Don’t judge.

2. You may not be the issue, even if you are affected by the issue. So often we think WE are the cause of the rift. While that may be true, clarify first. Ask her if you did anything wrong and if so, get it out. Once a woman gets stuff off her chest, she usually feels better.

3. Be the hero. If an issue comes up from the past or if she can’t let something go, be a champ and let her know that its OK to hold those thoughts. Just as we can’t NOT think about a pink elephant when those words are read or spoken, her ability to “let an issue go” or “close that annoying pop-up” in her brain is impossible. After you listen and encourage more talking, take some action. Do the dishes, help the kids with their homework, or give her a foot rub. Any gesture to ease her suffering will make her feel better and give you the tools to gently rewire that brain and get on the path to joy and happiness.

For more information on making your wife hot, creating an more fulfilling relationship, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com.

Ever wonder why “make up sex” is so much more powerful than regular sex?
The last time you had an argument, then forgave each other and made love, wasn’t it a bit more powerful, more passionate, more intense?

Oh Yeah!

Clinically speaking, the endorphins released during anxiety cause a “fight or flight” syndrome in our bodies. These chemicals make us more aware, fast paced and yes…angry.  For many people, arguments turn “ugly” because we get caught up in the method and form of the fight instead of the content. Personal attacks, raising our voice and dredging up past transgressions add fuel to the fire.

When things die down and two mature people apologize, analyze and forgive, those endorphins are still bouncing around in our bodies. When we copulate and use physicality to restore our love, we put extra effort (energy, love, passion, and lust) into our act in order to flush out the bad feelings.

Make up sex is nearly ALWAYS better than normal sex because we are not just “feeling good” but we are feeling good AND trying not to feel bad! This double whammy works WONDERS!

So, do I occassionally start an argument in order to have great make up sex?

No.

But when an argument starts with my hot wife (literally and figuratively HOT) I used to avoid them. Now, I let them play out and run their course. Our communication increases, we get stuff off our chest and of course…the make up sex is always passionate and powerful!

For more details on creating “off the chart” sex in your relationship, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com.

Well, today marks my 21st wedding anniversary. INCREDIBLE!
Like many of you, not all 21 have been a bed of roses. With 3 kids, a business that collapsed, a separation, my midlife crisis, affairs and child medical issues, our family therapist stated that the odds were definitely against us. Our “Train wreck” was virtually unsurvivable.

With patience and an open mind, we pieced together remnants of our past, our values, and our needs and pressed forward. Where most people give up out of an excessive amount of pain, we pushed forward. Our book and blog explain it all.

We didn’t always know what the outcome would be. Our hearts very often sought the escape valve of divorce. The separation often gave both of us required space to collect our thoughts and garner some introspection without the pressures of being a “couple.”

There is no “end” of course. We continue to talk, laugh, love and lust for one another. The past issues are constantly in our psyche. We can never eliminate our mistakes-only learn from them.

Increasing sexual desire and pleasure after sleeping with the same person for 22 years (yeah…premarital sex) isn’t easy. My personality craves excitement, adventure and “newness.”

My wife and I nearly divorced not because of my cheating, but because we didn’t know how to communicate the REASONS I strayed from my vows of marriage. Now that we can talk about ANYTHING without judgment or emotion, we have created a new and stronger bond than ever before.

There is no “end” to this story. There is only a new day, every day that we can crawl into bed, whisper something really naughty, break out the new toy or new chapter in the Kama Sutra, and bang each others brains out.

When all else fails in a marriage, try vigorous, passionate, off the chart sex. Couples who have a sexually charged, intimate relationship rarely divorce.

For more ideas on how to create a smokin’ hot MILF for your wife, check out my ebook at www.makeyourwifehot.com. The title is chauvinistic, but the content was written by my wife and me. We both know the benefits of her sex appeal. She feels better about herself and I love…absolutely LOVE having my mistress, my girlfriend and my wife all be one and the same.

This headline STINKS!  Just because I’m a guy I can’t “improve”? Just because my solution to her comment that, “We don’t talk enough”  is my, “I think more oral sex will work”  I am shunned from my wife….well, uhm…yeah!

Men are really simple creatures. Women are not. (At least that is what men THINK) In reality, both genders are very simple, If we study human history and biology we can solve half of the equation of mis-communication between us.

From an anthropological and historical sense, men are the providers. We used our strength to “kill mastodon…bring back to cave…make more people”.

Our female counter parts spent millions of years nurturing and caring for the young. It is only in the past 100 years or so that these roles have merged, crossed over and otherwise co-mingled. Think about the time line. 100 years divided by 1 million years of evolution is 1/10,000. That’s like being told for 50 years that the world is flat, you lived it, you breathed it, your parents were both told that, etc. and then in less than a second it all changed. The earth has always been round, don’t you see?

Men produce billions of sperm per year. Why? In order to propogate the species, of course! Women prepare 1 egg per month…hmmm….I’m no math genius, but isn’t there something wrong here? Yes, I know that many of our guys can’t swim, some are warrior sperm designed to attack and kill other guys sperm. But, the fact remains that men can reproduce into their 70’s, women peak late 40’s/early 50’s and our urge to reproduce at all costs is why our species proliferates the planet.

Now, all of a sudden women tell us we have to search our feelings? UH, my feelings are centrally located in my pants, my dear. It’s not my fault. Blame evolution, God, or that last Mastodon kill that made me feel so virile!

In all seriousness, we CAN talk, share our feelings and connect with women. It’s just not that easy to accomplish. And for that we can blame the media, our fathers, and anyone else who has uttered the words:

• “Be a man.”
• “Suck it up.”
• “Semper Fi”
• “There’s no crying in baseball!”

The list goes on and on. Men are conditioned from a very early age not to cry, express their feelings, or shed any emotion. Is that evolution or environmental conditioning? Probably both, My Fair Lady. (Or “Trading Places” if you are into 80’s movies)

So in order for us to relate emotionally vs. physically and if a woman wants us to express our inner feelings we have to take a break from our manliness and listen.  If you are a woman and you desire a deeper connection or simply wants to avoid arguments, the simplest strategy is to be attentive to our needs, relax, and don’t ask, (at least not directly) “how we feel.” That is a chick question and we seriously don’t know how to answer it. Sorry. We CAN improve our communication, however. It takes patience and a bit of manipulation on your part (Shouldn’t be a problem-right?) Since men are visual and pretty much walking hard on’s, appeal to that aspect of ourselves and you can pry all the information you want out of us. Professional spies have done this for years. You can too! You don’t have to even feel guilty about it. I am not suggesting sleeping with the enemy, here. I am suggesting being that incredibly hot girlfriend you were when he met you! You once were. Perhaps 12 years of marriage, 2.5 kids, a mortgage, sleepless nights, and piano recitals have made you both forget what it was like to be boyfriend/girlfriend and date each other. Since you are smarter than he is, go ahead and start. Put on your sexiest outfit, kidnap him after work, go to a cheap hotel, and rock his world. Don’t even try to tell me that won’t affect him in a positive sense!

Guys, if you REALLY want to have sex with a smokin’ hot MILF and be sore every other day, you HAVE to learn the skills of communicating on a deep, emotional level with your woman. It isn’t as simple as saying, “I really love you” or “You are everything to me.” Words are a great start. But women are smarter than us, of course. You need to increase your emotional strength and communication.

Bottom line is, you have to lead.

My book, Make Your Wife Hot, has been reported to have a chauvinist title. DUH! Of course! It is oriented to men. However, I am not afraid to admit this, guys…my wife and I co-wrote it. Clearly 1/2 of the content is emotionally-based strategy and tactics that women clearly want and need.

In fact, we surveyed and polled nearly one hundred couples and women to come up with the essence of sex in a relationship, from a woman’s perspective. We did this because (generally speaking) guys want more sex.

Actually, women do too. They just call it love. Men crave sex in order to “feel” love and woman crave love in order to have sex. It’s simple but so many men get the order wrong. They think that their sexual prowess in the bedroom will make a woman swoon and be loyal to them forever. BUZZ! WRONG! If that were true, you wouldn’t see so many average looking guys with smokin’ hot wives. (The opposite is rarely true-sorry ladies)

Women crave security. This security can come in many forms from financial, spiritual, emotional, physical, etc. Going back to the Mastodon example, as long as Thor brought back enough meat to feed the little ones, life was bliss (or at least survivable). Now that supermarkets are in vogue, financial security has largely replaced brute strength. That’s why rich-middle aged male celebrities often end up with supermodels.

NOTE: If you are a middle aged woman threatened by that statement then you DEFINITELY need to read my ebook. You have more experience, sex appeal and confidence than any supermodel…your hubby knows it. Reading my book and applying the principles will make him yours-forever.

So, guys, do yourself a favor. Start reading an occassional self-improvement book or relationship book. You will understand that women aren’t really that complex. She will shower you with sex (and love) every time she catches you reading that book, listening to her talk or sees you picking up your underwear. All of these activities are a turn on in some fashion. DO IT!

For more ideas, strategies and tactics on creating a sexually-charged relationship for life, visit www.makeyourwifehot.com.